i learned.
it was my 3rd night in a row when i couldn’t sleep. (damn, i have to fix my sleeping schedule so i don’t nap when i get home.) when i was tossing & turning in bed, thoughts, of course, flushed to my mind rapidly like a high speed car chase. i started to think…maybe it can be alright without you…after all, everything has been hailing down & clouding my mind lately…recently, it’s just been thoughts of you & weight loss. maybe it is time to loosen up…i can do it, right? i’ll always want to meet you & performing with tokio hotel is still my goal, but i shouldn’t miss out on other aspects of life, right? i mean…how can i ever sacrifice watching my baby cousins grow up, spending time with my family, & having fun with my friends? thank you, tom. your words will always be by my side. ‘carpe diem.’ 
then again, i know this isn’t going to last. i’m always going to go back to you…& be depressed. *sigh.
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