Times like this I wish you were still in…

Times like this I wish you were still in my life. My state, my town, my part of the country. I know I was an idiot and drove you away. I was too clingy, too emotional, too desperate. I had expectations of you that weren’t realistic. I told you way too much. I want to find some way to apologize to you, in a way that won’t make me seem more pathetic to you, but I have no idea how. I tried getting back in contact with you a month or so ago, and you made sure the conversation died as quickly as possible. I don’t blame you. I can’t. There’s a line in a song that makes me think of you all the time. “I wish that you were here with me to pass the full week-end”. Piazza, New York Catcher. I don’t know why, it’s not like we ever shared that song. Days with you were just brighter. I’ll never forget the night we were walking down Main St. singing “All I Want is You”. I suppose in even writing this I’m just proving the fact that I’m probably not over you. I would probably make the same stupid mistakes I made before with you. I just want you to somehow know I hope you’re living the life you want in DC. Part of me hopes you still give a thought to me every now and then. Most of me doesn’t blame you if you don’t.

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