Over this past weekend I went over to my…

Over this past weekend I went over to my cousin’s apartment, we hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks so we talked a lot. Sometime during my visit,while in tears, she mentioned our uncle… and how he had touched her when we were younger.

Then it hit me, I remembered a memory that I’ve kept repressed for so long. I too was touched by said uncle. There were two occasions I remembered he touched me, always over my clothes… one such has been engraved in my mind and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

He was throwing a party, I don’t recall who or why it was for. Being part of a Mexican family, nearly the whole family and close friends were there, and of course, beer was also present. I don’t remember how old I was… ten at the most though, but I was definitely a bit younger than that. A group of my cousins and I decided to play hide-and-seek in our uncle’s back yard. The yard was large and partly dark, he used to own a food truck and the truck blocked out a lot of the light coming in from the windows from inside the house. I decided to hide inside his food truck, and before I knew it he had followed me in there. He told me to quickly get to the back before the seeker reached zero, and being young and competitive, I agreed and went to the back. He squatted on the floor, his boots making a lot of noise, he put me in front of him and shushed me. I could smell the mixture of beer and cologne on him, it was obvious he was drunk… or at the very least buzzing. I then felt his hands rubbing against my chest, he lightly tried to grab whatever I had developed then, then right hand went down to my stomach and it kept going lower. I felt my face get hot and tears formed in my eyes. I was scared, but I didn’t make any noise… at that time I thought I would get in trouble if I made any noise. After what seemed like minutes passed we heard someone scream and laugh, the seeker had caught someone. My uncle then casually got up and left thre truck as if nothing happened… and went back to join the party.

That explains why I always try to have the least possible contact with that uncle. I never understood why I always wanted to remain at a distance from him, the most I ever do is shake his hand so I won’t come off as rude.

I didn’t tell my cousin what I remembered… I don’t know if I should. Maybe I should just keep it to myself?

I don’t know how I feel about this, how to react.

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