When my husband and I argue, he hurts me. He tackles me to the floor, sits on top of me, crushes my rib cage, prevents me from breathing, pulls my hair. Crying and screaming in pain has no effect. Eyes wide-open in terror, I beg him to go ahead kill me then and there. He says […]
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asokira
Desolate and Forlorn 1:28 am on December 4, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply
there is never any reason for a man to lay one finger in anger on any woman!!!
Remixer 1:40 am on December 4, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply
There are legit reasons.
However, asokira, your man is plain sadistic.
Remixer
ShastaKey 2:20 am on December 4, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I feel like you’re putting a lot of blame on yourself. You feel awful for hurting him, so you feel like you deserve to be hurt by him.
That just doesn’t make sense. That kind of masochistic vindication isn’t good for either of you.
If I were you, I’d be scared that he’d continue to hurt me, even if I could fix my own problems. I don’t think I’d want a relationship like that to persist. But, if you do, I think that it’s something that you should work out together. You both have problems. He hurts you physically. You hurt him emotionally. From here, his problems look a lot bigger to me, but maybe you can work them out together.
Have you tried couple’s counseling? If not, you definitely should.
CurrerBell 3:46 am on December 5, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Oh, I’m very sorry to hear this, and I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult and painful it must be for you. The thing that can happen with domestic violence is that it’s not as easy as it sounds to just move on and leave a relationship, for various reasons such as fear. Perhaps you can tell a loved one or someone who can help you about this.
Asokira, you have done NOTHING wrong, OK? Nothing at all. It is not your fault. I believe that once someone hits you, it’s their fault, regardless of what may have provoked it. Please don’t blame yourself for this. I’ve personally grown up blaming myself for not being able to stop my dad from hurting my mother, but I’m slowly starting to tell myself that I am not responsible for any of it. It’s hard to do this, but it helps.
If you find it difficult to listen to what he says before he gets violent, perhaps you yourself could try counselling to learn. Or you can both, as ShastaKey has suggested, a third party professional might be able to help mediate. Of course, I’m not a professional myself, so my advice is probably not the best.
Again, Asokira, you are not to blame. He is hitting you because he wants to control you and your responses.