i totally force myself everyday to wake up, i have to tell myself everyday, that my life is worth living, i have to look at the total disgusting disappointment in the mirror, as I put on my eyeliner and try not to cry…
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immortally.alive
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immortally.alive
Ugh im such a damn idiot. lol i hate that im so effin needy and clingy and just fukked up. every potential relationship I have I RUIN cause i need someone to fukkin love me, i need their time, attention, and consistency. I hate it. I always need something else. I can never be content. I need therapy more often.. I fall in love with someone in like 3 weeks. Its sooo fukkin annoying, I ANNOY MYSELF. I need my meds.
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immortally.alive
Finally. I’m Here, I’ve Disappeared For A While, Things Have Been Beautiful. I Have Been Seeing A Therapist, I’ve Stayed Single, I Managed To Find The Root Of My Problems, Way Back To Childhood. Its Been Horrific, But Fruitful. I Finally Met This Man, Who Likes Me So Much, And Im Pushing Him Away Due To My Neediness, and Clinging. I’m Trying So Hard To Control It.. Im Going To Lose Him If I Can’t, And I Do Not Want To Lose This One, This One Is A Godsend… Damn My Parents For Making Me Emotionally Fucked Up. Any Advice?
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immortally.alive
I Kinda Feel Like Running Away With My 2 Kids, Far Away, even if we have to live in a homeless shelter.. i dont care…
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immortally.alive
Uhm.. I Have a weird obsession with dwarfs. I want to date one.
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immortally.alive
So.. I lost someone I love to another woman, now I have 3 of them in love with me.. I cant handle this shit. I dont want them to get hurt.I cant do it.
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immortally.alive
i just want to thank you. Thank you for dragging me along your little charade, for telling me you love me, telling me you care, for breaking me down into peices, for knowing and understanding everything about me, for showing me love n respect i’ve never felt before thank you for holding me, n spending time with me.. Thank you for hiding your fiance so well, so in the 3 months we were hanging out, no one ever knew she existed, until you come back from a weekend outta state married. i am not even hurt. Im happy that you are happy, and I beleive with all my heart you deserve love. I want nothing but the best most beautiful person to be with you, and I can never be her. NEVER.
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immortally.alive
hmmm.. i Confess! I look at a mans package everytime I get a chance! I look at dicks like men look at boobs! is that wrong or perverted? NO.. i just respect a nice package. oh, i also imagine what it looks like behind the jeans.. then i cant stop looking.. i stare n get busted.. then i just laugh about it!
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immortally.alive
OK. I admit it. I’m FUCKING insane. I want to hurt people, i want sex all the time, sometimes i punch myself in the arms to see bruises the next day. I Have been eating nothing. I’ve been drinking redbulls, and alcohol, and smoking cigarettes for 5 days now. i’m hypoglycemic, so they all get me high. I hope this sickness takes my fucking life. my heart should just stop beating.
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immortally.alive
I’m IN FUCKING LOVE, with someone who wont love me back, who is fighting his feelings because he’s so FUCKING shallow, because i’m a little bit thick, fuck you. i’ve wasted money on U, n time, n i put my whole fucking heart into this, only to find out u were using me as a crutch because some BITCH probably dumped u n i’m always there to clean up other BITCHES messes, and to hold u and love on u n tell u i dig U, after she hurt you.. get over ur fuckin “mommy syndrome” bullshit and grow the fuck up… boo fuckin hoo.. what the fuck am I a FUCKING band-aid?
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immortally.alive
well, i’ve been “seeing” this guy.. we’re in the beginning stages of true companionship, and we dont have sex, last night we were drunk n we kissed in front of his friends, who are also now my friends, like they invited me to a bday party tomorrow, well.. i cant hold out this long, i need to have sex, i need the rush.. but i’ll feel like a cheater if i do it with someone else… HE’S taking his sweet time. Masturbation gets boring after 5 times a day(or more)! Isnt he supposed to want me by now? WTF is the problem!?
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immortally.alive
The Only Thing I Had To Eat Today, Was a 10mg Hydrocodone… and I want another one.
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immortally.alive
I am having such a Great Week! Mysteriously… Everything I’ve been Hoping For is now in progress! I understand why ppl wouldnt be christian, but I also understand why they would be! I hope everyone has a great Day!
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immortally.alive
I am having such a Great Week! Mysteriously… Everything I’ve been Hoping For is now in progress! I understand why ppl wouldnt be christian, but I also understand why they would be! I hope everyone has a great Day!
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immortally.alive
ok i have another one. the same guy from below does things he knows im gonna like, and i do things for him, we do nice things for each other. he knows i AM a christian n i love the lord, and he showed me his favorite scripture today! this from an ex-juggalo, death metal thrasher? he MUST like me right? haha i just want to be sure because i’m so easily distracted but it seems like he tries to score pts with me, but he doesnt need to, i like him as he is!
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immortally.alive
I dont know if any of u beleive in astrology, BUT I AM SOOO ARIES/TAURUS. the guy im falling for is a virgo, and reading up on that alone.. i pretty much fall into the category of compatiblity. the issues we have are him taking his sweet time with me. i’m the kinda person thats does not get dragged along easily. he often wants to hang out, im sure he wont waste his time on someone he dislikes right? so, what do i do? ride it out n wait? he’s worth the wait but my patience is wearing thin! what more does he want?
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immortally.alive
OK as most of u kno there is this guy i am really fallin for, we spend like 2 nights a week together but we just hang out, well tonight was the longest we’ve spent 2gether alone! it was awesome, and we really got along well. hes growing on me n me on him.. we haven’t kissed or had sex, we just enjoy each others company, i’m thinking he may not be physically attracted to me. but we had sex 1x a LONG TIME ago when we first met.. maybe hes taking his time to get to kno me.. theres alot of contact, like we cuddle n he lays on me, i play wit his hair, we hug.. but whats ur take on it? guys like this dont exist!! lol…and 2night i showed him a side of me he’s never seen, the side screaming to come out, confident.. maybe he liked it, i made him laugh all night.. n we fall asleep together happy..
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immortally.alive
I’m Falling In LOVE with U, And apparently from ur facebook update, U LOVE SOMEONE ELSE… I Feel sick to my stomach… ITS HORRIBLE.. Please dont tell me i did this again..
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immortally.alive
I debated calling u all night, fearing I would be interrupting your slumber, but to my surprise when i finally did, u were up, driving to texas, and happy to hear from ME! i feel great about how we can talk for hours about everything.. i Love your voice, I hope u FaLL in LoVe with me…
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immortally.alive
i Love This site so much, i Love knowing that im not the only person with crazy thoughts. i wish i could hug every 1 of u! thx for the reality check BOO! i’ve cried for 3 days and i realized that i am amazing. an amazing friend n mother.
quiteabitch 8:21 am on July 26, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply
What’s wrong? Cause this sound too much like me an year ago and I think I can help.