i totally force myself everyday to wake up, i have to tell myself everyday, that my life is worth living, i have to look at the total disgusting disappointment in the mirror, as I put on my eyeliner and try not to cry…
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immortally.alive
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immortally.alive
Ugh im such a damn idiot. lol i hate that im so effin needy and clingy and just fukked up. every potential relationship I have I RUIN cause i need someone to fukkin love me, i need their time, attention, and consistency. I hate it. I always need something else. I can never be content. I need therapy more often.. I fall in love with someone in like 3 weeks. Its sooo fukkin annoying, I ANNOY MYSELF. I need my meds.
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immortally.alive
Finally. I’m Here, I’ve Disappeared For A While, Things Have Been Beautiful. I Have Been Seeing A Therapist, I’ve Stayed Single, I Managed To Find The Root Of My Problems, Way Back To Childhood. Its Been Horrific, But Fruitful. I Finally Met This Man, Who Likes Me So Much, And Im Pushing Him Away Due To My Neediness, and Clinging. I’m Trying So Hard To Control It.. Im Going To Lose Him If I Can’t, And I Do Not Want To Lose This One, This One Is A Godsend… Damn My Parents For Making Me Emotionally Fucked Up. Any Advice?
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All Time Shannon
I would be able to give you constructive advice If I knew what this man was like an what your parents have done.
- Shannon
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immortally.alive
I Kinda Feel Like Running Away With My 2 Kids, Far Away, even if we have to live in a homeless shelter.. i dont care…
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immortally.alive
Uhm.. I Have a weird obsession with dwarfs. I want to date one.
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disappearingink
That’s fun. Go date one.
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immortally.alive
So.. I lost someone I love to another woman, now I have 3 of them in love with me.. I cant handle this shit. I dont want them to get hurt.I cant do it.
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immortally.alive
i just want to thank you. Thank you for dragging me along your little charade, for telling me you love me, telling me you care, for breaking me down into peices, for knowing and understanding everything about me, for showing me love n respect i’ve never felt before thank you for holding me, n spending time with me.. Thank you for hiding your fiance so well, so in the 3 months we were hanging out, no one ever knew she existed, until you come back from a weekend outta state married. i am not even hurt. Im happy that you are happy, and I beleive with all my heart you deserve love. I want nothing but the best most beautiful person to be with you, and I can never be her. NEVER.
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immortally.alive
hmmm.. i Confess! I look at a mans package everytime I get a chance! I look at dicks like men look at boobs! is that wrong or perverted? NO.. i just respect a nice package. oh, i also imagine what it looks like behind the jeans.. then i cant stop looking.. i stare n get busted.. then i just laugh about it!
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immortally.alive
OK. I admit it. I’m FUCKING insane. I want to hurt people, i want sex all the time, sometimes i punch myself in the arms to see bruises the next day. I Have been eating nothing. I’ve been drinking redbulls, and alcohol, and smoking cigarettes for 5 days now. i’m hypoglycemic, so they all get me high. I hope this sickness takes my fucking life. my heart should just stop beating.
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its.cold.inside11
oh no. ohnoohno. go for a bike ride and eat a salad. you can be okay. i promise.
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immortally.alive
I’m IN FUCKING LOVE, with someone who wont love me back, who is fighting his feelings because he’s so FUCKING shallow, because i’m a little bit thick, fuck you. i’ve wasted money on U, n time, n i put my whole fucking heart into this, only to find out u were using me as a crutch because some BITCH probably dumped u n i’m always there to clean up other BITCHES messes, and to hold u and love on u n tell u i dig U, after she hurt you.. get over ur fuckin “mommy syndrome” bullshit and grow the fuck up… boo fuckin hoo.. what the fuck am I a FUCKING band-aid?
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Remixer
I believe immortally.alive has much deeper-rooted issues she would be best off first solving.
Her head isn’t working right as it stands.
Remixer
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Remixer
Probably.
Remixer
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immortally.alive
LoL My head is my head, probably better than ur head! just cause i wont fall victim to some worthless piece of shits games. and im not that fat, i get hit on daily by men who are quite attractive, n this one, it was his personality that got me… he’s the dissappointment not me..
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secondchancesx3
Really? Theres no problem with being thicker. Why does everyone need to be skinny little poles? They don’t. As long as your healthy, it shouldnt matter your damn size. Gah.
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camomile
I agree size is not everything health is,and health is very important and physicall attractivness and beauty is not everything and it doesnt promise you luck and happiness in love ,it all depends who is your partner and how he treats you and are you really happy with him.I dont beleive everyone can be 100% happy in a relationship couse we all have our faults and we have to work on relationship.Its hard,I dont want to go through it especially for some jerk who is not willing to work on a relationship ,who is running when you get angry who doesnt act as an responsible( respectfull) person, who is mummies boy and who is selfish and makes you feel like its you ,it is all you and he has nothing to change.I hate users and abusers and cheaters too.i dont want to be the one only giving there must be 50%-50% or other wise goodbye I am not going to waist my time we all have a life and right to be happy adn respected and if he is not happy with that too badddddddddd.
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immortally.alive
well, i’ve been “seeing” this guy.. we’re in the beginning stages of true companionship, and we dont have sex, last night we were drunk n we kissed in front of his friends, who are also now my friends, like they invited me to a bday party tomorrow, well.. i cant hold out this long, i need to have sex, i need the rush.. but i’ll feel like a cheater if i do it with someone else… HE’S taking his sweet time. Masturbation gets boring after 5 times a day(or more)! Isnt he supposed to want me by now? WTF is the problem!?
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secondchancesx3
talk to him about it. maybe he thinks you want to take it slow, and is just looking out for you. maybe he is just as hot as you are. just talk to him!
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immortally.alive
The Only Thing I Had To Eat Today, Was a 10mg Hydrocodone… and I want another one.
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immortally.alive
I am having such a Great Week! Mysteriously… Everything I’ve been Hoping For is now in progress! I understand why ppl wouldnt be christian, but I also understand why they would be! I hope everyone has a great Day!
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immortally.alive
I am having such a Great Week! Mysteriously… Everything I’ve been Hoping For is now in progress! I understand why ppl wouldnt be christian, but I also understand why they would be! I hope everyone has a great Day!
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immortally.alive
ok i have another one. the same guy from below does things he knows im gonna like, and i do things for him, we do nice things for each other. he knows i AM a christian n i love the lord, and he showed me his favorite scripture today! this from an ex-juggalo, death metal thrasher? he MUST like me right? haha i just want to be sure because i’m so easily distracted but it seems like he tries to score pts with me, but he doesnt need to, i like him as he is!
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Kitty
Maybe he thinks the same about you, he could be nervous and trying to tell you he does like you by doing all these things. Talk to him! Tell him how you feel (:
- shannon
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ClosetAthiest
Probably not the best idea to believe in God. Look up “10 questions that every intelligent christian must answer” on Youtube. It will get you guessing.
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immortally.alive
LoL I’ve seen it. My faith will never be shaken by disbeleif, if being a christian was easy, everyone would do it. I’ve seen too much to be swayed…
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Remixer
Being a Christian must be terribly hard, considering there are 1.7 billion of you.
Please move along to aisle “Bullshit”.
Remixer
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immortally.alive
LoL .. Thank u greatly for ur opinion.. it matters so Much.
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Remixer
Not a problem.
I wouldn’t care for your take on my opinion until you come to know how to make a proper argument for yourself.
“I believe in Jeeeesus. He is my salvation. Oh Lord, get the Devil away from me and let me go to heaven. And by the way, a nice car would be nice.”
Remixer
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secondchancesx3
lol quit being such an ass remixer. hahah
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secondchancesx3
you know im kidding. :]
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faraway
remixer, don’t be an ass. nobody asked for your opinion.
go for it, hun.
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secondchancesx3
you’ll get it anyways.
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Remixer
What secondchances said.
Remixer
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disappearingink
I just came from nowhere, but that was uncalled for, Remixer. Hahaha.
And honestly religion is such a strange thing. I don’t really think anyone could put down someone else’s faith/opinion and expect theirs to be respected.. Things don’t work that way. But I, myself, am an Agnostic/Part time Christian. I try to be a Christian but there are a ton of things that get in the way. I totally understand what you mean, there are so many connotations that come along with just telling someone you are Christian.
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immortally.alive
I dont know if any of u beleive in astrology, BUT I AM SOOO ARIES/TAURUS. the guy im falling for is a virgo, and reading up on that alone.. i pretty much fall into the category of compatiblity. the issues we have are him taking his sweet time with me. i’m the kinda person thats does not get dragged along easily. he often wants to hang out, im sure he wont waste his time on someone he dislikes right? so, what do i do? ride it out n wait? he’s worth the wait but my patience is wearing thin! what more does he want?
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ithinkineedahug
jeez apparently the guy i like says he wants to hang out…but everytime we plan something he can’t go
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immortally.alive
OK as most of u kno there is this guy i am really fallin for, we spend like 2 nights a week together but we just hang out, well tonight was the longest we’ve spent 2gether alone! it was awesome, and we really got along well. hes growing on me n me on him.. we haven’t kissed or had sex, we just enjoy each others company, i’m thinking he may not be physically attracted to me. but we had sex 1x a LONG TIME ago when we first met.. maybe hes taking his time to get to kno me.. theres alot of contact, like we cuddle n he lays on me, i play wit his hair, we hug.. but whats ur take on it? guys like this dont exist!! lol…and 2night i showed him a side of me he’s never seen, the side screaming to come out, confident.. maybe he liked it, i made him laugh all night.. n we fall asleep together happy..
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Girl
glad to hear it’s going good for you! hopefully all goes well!
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immortally.alive
I’m Falling In LOVE with U, And apparently from ur facebook update, U LOVE SOMEONE ELSE… I Feel sick to my stomach… ITS HORRIBLE.. Please dont tell me i did this again..
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immortally.alive
I debated calling u all night, fearing I would be interrupting your slumber, but to my surprise when i finally did, u were up, driving to texas, and happy to hear from ME! i feel great about how we can talk for hours about everything.. i Love your voice, I hope u FaLL in LoVe with me…
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itsme
I know exactly how you feel!
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immortally.alive
i Love This site so much, i Love knowing that im not the only person with crazy thoughts. i wish i could hug every 1 of u! thx for the reality check BOO! i’ve cried for 3 days and i realized that i am amazing. an amazing friend n mother.
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boo
anytime.
you just cant be so down on yourself…haha I didn’t really want my name to be boo I couldn’t get it to accept anything when I was registering so I just typed in a random words…turns out the others must have just been taken lol, now it won’t let me change it lol
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quiteabitch 8:21 am on July 26, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply
What’s wrong? Cause this sound too much like me an year ago and I think I can help.