Ok. Maybe I’m bi.
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nothing but me
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nothing but me
why him?
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nothing but me
Fuck…
I can’t tell you I’ve been forgetting to take the medicine.
I can’t tell you I like him
I can’t tell you I didn’t get the scars I had in my arm when I fell from a tree.
I can’t tell you I still want to paint the walls with my own blood.
I can’t tell you I feel lonelyInstead I’ll dye my hair purple
and I’ll try not to think of him
I won’t fall from trees
I won’t ruin the walls
I’ll make you realize I don’t need the medicine
Cause I’ve found out why I suffer. I still need to find a solution.-
quiteabitch
You dont have to tell her…But you must go for him. Believe me, I never went for him because he was like a forbidden fruit to me….I thought I would have the chance to get him later in the future…..Until one day I woke up to get told he was no longer part of my future unles I died too.
Listen to me Salomé. PLease go for him! Im begging you!….Whats making you suffer so much?
Ps. Purple is an awsome color for hair XD
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nothing but me
You’re right, I don’ have to tell them… but I should.
I CAN’T go for him. I wish I could… but (there’s a BIG but) I’m half his age.I realized I represst myself too much sometimes. I realized I need people to pay attention to me,to approve me, to like me for who I am. I try to remain true to myself but I’m too afraid of being judged, I’m terrified of being alone.
But I don’t need that.
I don’t need drugs.I need to change the way I think.
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quiteabitch
Its frightens me how alike you and I are. I am exactly the same. I feeel so much fear of not being liked by people, but I also realizesd that I dont wanna be liked by the people who would judge me for liking rock and just for being me XD So…Hes 30??
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nothing but me
yes, he’s arround 30 ( I feel like a slut)
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nothing but me
Sometimes really want to say something but I don’t know what, don’t know how. anyway if you want to talk here’s my email:
salome.rp
@hotmail.com -
nothing but me
“when masturbation’s lost its fun you’re fuckin lonely”
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adeafmute
lmfao thats when you need a blowup doll and a crate of batteries
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nothing but me
loool
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nothing but me
I mustn’t think about him. But I do. All the time.
I’m so ashamed and terrified if someone finds out.
I will get hurt anyway.-
quiteabitch
If its about love, you must never be ashamed.
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nothing but me
I don’t think it’s love. just a silly crush.
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nothing but me
I’m gonna change school, I’m so excited…
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quiteabitch
Thats sooo coool! =) Its like you can redo yourself and have a change in life. I hope you have fun! =)
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nothing but me
Sorry, I’m a fool. I never find the words…
There’s so much I’d like to say but I don’t know how. -
nothing but me
I wish there were more freaks in this city…
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quiteabitch
Hahahaha same. I wish there were more freaks so I wasnt the only one in this city XD
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pd0815
why? 90 percent of people can’t handle a real freak. can you?
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nothing but me
I think so, I’m a freak
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nothing but me
…
awkward silence
…
I broke the silence:
“You know, I used to be a silly naive girl. I still am. I can’t show my feelings…”
“Why not?” he asked.
“I think I’m too afraid. I know, I shoud do it. And should have done it…
Maybe I should have told you that I liked you some time ago. But I didn’t. I’ll never tell you. Why would I do that? Things changed, it wouldn’t make sense. Only if I were crazy…”
He laughed. He knows how crazy I am.silence
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“Oh no, I shouldn’t have told you…”
“Why do you think so?”
“Now you’ll start thinking that…”
“It’s ok.”Zebra crossing.
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quiteabitch
Its not a win but its not a loss. Its just, I dont know what to tell you. It really is awkward when that happens isnt it?
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nothing but me
bittersweet…
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nothing but me
I’m mad! I just read about a 14 year old boy murdered by the police. the police said the boy was a violent criminal and had a gun so they shot him in the head in self defense. So they said they said they didn’t mean to kill him.
But he was just a poor black boy, who gives a damn?-
quiteabitch
Mother fuckin police. I cant imagine the pain so many people are going thrugh just because the police got the idea of being fuckin lame ass stupid knowing theyve been taught to shoot for all their carreers. This is fuckin terrible, no one standing of. I hope he’s in a better place now, considering that facing being shot for being a violent crimminal at 13 must have a terrible and bittter story behind. RIP.
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nothing but me
He wasn’t the first, he won’t be the last. To the police and the media, they’re all violent criminals. The police is never questioned and they’re never punished.
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quiteabitch
mother fuckin monsters.
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nothing but me
And we don’t know
Just where our bones will rest
To dust I guess
Forgotten and absorbed into the earth below -
nothing but me
I’m freaking out
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quiteabitch
Whats wronnG??
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nothing but me
Too much pressure, too much work to do I’m tired dunno why
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wonder
Stress sucks. You’ll work through it, just remember to breathe and relax along the way
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nothing but me
thank you
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quiteabitch
take a few mins for yourself so often. Drink tea too and make sure ur wroking space is calm and nice. Just remember itll be over soon, work I mean.
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nothing but me
My mother explained me what happened.
I have no reason to be afraid.-
adeafmute
but you still are you still have doubts and even if you know you have no reason to fear the dark you still get that tingle
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nothing but me
What can I do about it? :S
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adeafmute
not a thing im afraid that doubt lingers on forever like a bad smell
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nothing but me
I know she told me the truth.
But I can’t confront her with that accusation she made a year ago. I guess I’ll never know the truth about it. I’ll learn to deal with doubt.
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nothing but me
I just heard my mom crying. I went to her room. I saw her and my father cudling in the bed. (I’m hearing her again) I approached them and asked if everything was alright. They said so. I said I heard mom crying. She said she cried sometimes, like anyone else.
This is weird… Why are they in bed toguether? I know they still have sex sometimes (next time don’t leave an empty box of condoms next to the bed, I’m not stupid). Why was she crying? Why is she at home? She was supposed to stay over her friend’s during my father’s visit.
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quiteabitch
This sounds wrong. You can’t hear something wrong 2 times, especially not when you think you heard what you said about him raping her. I honestly don’t know what to say. I can just relate it so much to when the person makes his/her victim make sure that no one finds out, like trying to get out of the acussation to the one who is harming them and usually blaming themselves. I also find it kinda very weird that they were cuddling after she was crying, as to make it look like everything was perfectly fine.
I can realate to you. I know it’s nothing compared to what might be happening to you, but my mom and my dad also have problems. Not to the point to call authorities, but it is really incredible the way he treats her. My psycologist keeps saying to leave the problem where it belongs, with them. And that if my mom stayed with my dad, it was her problem and not mine. I got no right to judge, absolutely no right, but Im worried about the raping thing. I mean, what youve been writing is really, really weird and nonesense. If I was you I’d tell the school councelor or something aboyt what you think you heard and about what’s been happening, They can’t tell anyone and teyll probably know how to deal with this in a good pacific way.
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nothing but me
I talked about it with my counselor at the children’s mental hospital. She told me that my mother wouln’t put me and my brother on the line and to enjoy the time I spend with my father. (I think she’s convinced that never happened. Well, I’m not sure either)
I also told my new psichologist about the argument and the accusation. Then I told her something I remembered (I think it happened before the accusation but I’m not sure). I was sleeping in my brother’s bedroom. My mother was sleeping in my bedroom. I heard my mother scream. I should have gone upstairs to see what was going on but I lost the nerve. I couldn’t sleep. When I asked my mom about it, she said my father had scared her. She’s there to help me deal with my feelings but I’m still confused. I don’t know what to do. I think I’m gonna ask them what happened last night.
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nothing but me
I keep thinking if I really heard what I heard that night.
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quiteabitch
And what was that?
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nothing but me
my mother accusing my father of raping her
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nothing but me
I’m in love.
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nothing but me
Why do people think they can tell everybody what they should/shouldn’t do?
Shut the fuck up! Get in your business!-
adeafmute
ironic isnt it your posting that here
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nothing but me
sorry I didn’t mean to attack people on this site I’m just tired of people around me who are always criticising me and everything I do.
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nothing but me
I want to feel.
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quiteabitch
I know the feeling…
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nothing but me
I hate my teachers
quiteabitch 9:31 am on August 3, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply
And that’s aright, =) Take your time to think and dont panick about it. Its completley normal and its actually really really cool XD
adeafmute 12:00 pm on August 3, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply
annnd so what?
nothing but me 2:28 pm on August 3, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I think I can accept myself. Not a big deal.
adeafmute 5:20 pm on August 3, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply
lol see now thats something to celebrate!