i don’t know why i just took a bottle of liquor from my parent’s bar. i can’t tell if i want to drink it and be drunk, or if i just want an excuse to be sad and irresponsible.
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rivergirl
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rivergirl
i thought about confessing what i’m feeling right now, but i rather just know this - what makes you get up every morning? what helps you deal with loss, whether it be of love or of life? what makes you turn away from giving up? i need an answer and i don’t know who to […]
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rivergirl
My ex called me this week. We hadn’t spoken for a couple of months, so I just let it go to voicemail. He said he loves me. And hopes I’m happy. I don’t know what to do. Especially because he’s been dating one of my friends for 2 years, and because I don’t know if […]
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rivergirl
I really miss you, and I don’t want to admit it. I saw you 14 hours ago but I can’t help myself. Am I in love with you? Because I don’t want to be. It’s just scary.
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rivergirl
Every time your name comes up on my phone, I want to take 10 shots and be drunk and miserable. Instead, I pick up the phone. I don’t know why. I don’t even know why you call me. I broke your heart. And you broke mine when you started dating my best friend. You’re dumb […]
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rivergirl
Dear Reader, What’s YOUR reason to live? I need to find mine.
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rivergirl
I hate that you’re so perfect for me. I hate it because no matter how great you are, I still can’t get someone else’s face out of my head. When will his face go away? It’s been years. I’m losing hope in committing myself to someone else.
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rivergirl
Want to know how many of my friends I can trust? Well, the answer is 0. Maybe I need new friends, or maybe just lower standards.
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rivergirl
I just want to scream at some people. A…
I just want to scream at some people. Not with words, just a loud yell. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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rivergirl
I don’t know if I’m right to be frustrated. A little less than a year ago, my best friend decided to say yes to my ex one week after I told her I still loved him. I’m completely over that aspect now, but she still won’t talk to me in person, only on the Internet […]
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Mara 2:57 pm on May 28, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply
It varies. What makes me get up, is I can’t stay in bed. No matter how much I may want to.
I’ve never had much loss to deal with, but I generally don’t deal with it well. I dig at the problem, try and find out as much as I can. It rarely works.
And what keeps me from giving up is my friends. I don’t have much faith in family any more. So I put my faith in the people I choose to care about, and in the fact that the world keeps going. That as long as you keep going with it, there’s a chance things get better. And sometimes I let myself give up for a bit, just to remind myself what it’s like. To remind myself why I don’t want to do it.