Bye grouphug. I only come here to confess, but then this happens. Always. I have my therapist to judge me already.
Continue reading Bye grouphug. I only come here to confes…
yellowroses
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yellowroses
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yellowroses
I wrote Brian a suicide letter. It’s saved as a draft. I wrote I didn’t want people to pass the blame. I wrote that he was my best friend at the time. I wrote that I lied to people when I called him names like “my left overs” or “trash.” I “pray” I accidentally hit […]
Continue reading I wrote Brian a suicide letter. It’s sa…-
adeafmute
thats bs you want to send it not so you will have to kill yourself but so that some one somewhere knows how much pain your in and will have the chance to rescue you from it and if they dont you can blame them and not yourself people who write notes always write them to those they beleive should protect them
so you dont pray for “no choice” as suicide is a choice you want a choice but you want some one to rush to you and prove that someoone loves you
well thats my take on it anyway -
yellowroses
you’d think that, right? it would be right for some people, i guess. just not brian.
i know he wouldn’t respond in any way besides get mad. & yes, i realize suicide is a choice, that’s why i wrote “no choice BUT to kill myself.” i HAVE told people about how much pain i’m in. I don’t need a suicide letter for that.
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quiteabitch
I agree with adeafmute. I honestly, with all my respect… Think that “accidentally” sending something that terrible to someone is no reason to have no other choice. Ofcourse there are many other choices. YOu could ust say youre sorry and make sure he know you mean it, and then move on with your life. I know it sucks, but if you could move on from the first painful event, Im sure you can move on with this one and be fine.
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yellowroses
i have said sorry.
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yellowroses
It’s become “okay” to live in this state for the rest of my life. I don’t have to heart to end it, take away all possibility for myself & hurt others. Yet, “moving on” hurts me a lot, so I’ll just go through everyday, wishing to die…because knowing there’s a way out, that lets me breathe. […]
Continue reading It’s become “okay” to live in this st… -
yellowroses
I didn’t realize anyone here actually remembered me until I saw a reply. Yeah, I’m back. This time, it’s a different story. A darker sequel.
Continue reading I didn’t realize anyone here actually r…-
Devvy
I remember you. I’m glad you’re back.
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yellowroses
I want you back. Three damn years. THREE damn years. You were the ONLY one who made me truly happy. I’m only fifteen. I don’t know what it is about you. You don’t seem to be my type. You’re probably shorter than me. Now your ego’s big. You think just because you got me, you can […]
Continue reading I want you back. Three damn years. THREE… -
yellowroses
They have reasons why they don’t like you and why they think you don’t deserve me. I’m too pretty for you. You’re a loser. You’re a liar. You’re ignorant. I can find better. One thing they all agree on? I was happier with you. She said I looked cheery. She said you looked really happy. My Dad […]
Continue reading They have reasons why they don’t like y… -
yellowroses
She only talked to you because of that time limit I set on myself a few days after you dumped me. When she was IMing you and begging you to save me, I was trying to get the rope up. You didn’t believe her, I know. You never believed I was depressed. You thought it […]
Continue reading She only talked to you because of that t…-
quiteabitch
I hate it when they think its for atention!!!!! For Fucks sake!!!
Don’t think of ending it. I know youve gone through endless shit, but I swear by personal experience that it’s possible to move on. I guess its just one love, someone who lets us breathe for a second while were drowning, thats why its so hard to let go…. Dont let him keep hurting you, its like drowing yourself even mmore.
If he thinks youre a psyco just for showing your pain and you still really want him, I suggest you stop showing it while you see if you can get him back.
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yellowroses
I miss you, Superman. You’re fine without me. I’m not fine without you. “Maybe I’m perfect for her but she’s not perfect for me.” Thanks. I’m sorry you feel that way. I promised I would stop burning myself, but I started again. You broke your promise to me. You said you’d always be there for me. […]
Continue reading I miss you, Superman. You’re fine witho…-
adeafmute
this might help it might not
“the wild dog rose is the only rose without thorns its a bright yellow colour.Brother it hurts no one it cant it has no defences no offences. As such it is hurt most damaged most dirtied most by the others it refuses to hurt and thus it hurts its self so as not to hurt the others. Myfriend My brother i am a dog rose and untill they stop hurting me i cannot stop hurting myself. So slowly you will all leave me. the only way to stop that is for me to stop hurting myself and hurt others their defences their thorns will stop me hurting them too badly.But i cannot hurt them even a little.Brother your too much like me dont make my mistakes hurt them a little if you have to and they will stay but hurt yourself a lot to protect them and they will run as fast and far as they can” my gf’s ex my friend he said that to me one day and its true hes all alone now idk maybe you should try to stop burning yourself dont promise just do and let them feel your paoin they will protect themselves from the pain and you’ll feel better maybe it did work for me -
quiteabitch
Youre not freaking out. And if so… What is it about it that’s wrong? We don’t freak out about stupid things, we freak out when we are scared or when we loose something deeply important for us. We hurt. And that’s alright. We tend to get attatched to those who make us stop hurting, and that’s kinda very human. The fact that he said “Maybe I’m perfect for her but she’s not perfect for me.” only means he’s not perfect for you, cause if he was, then he’d see you perfect. The trully perfect person for you will arrive I’m sure. Cause youre amazing. I know what it’s like to realize that someone who spares you pain no longer needs you as much as you need them, and believe me, I’m still in denial from it…. But I’m slowly finding a way to make myself happy and secure independantly. What I’m trying to say is that missing him is alright, fraking out is ok, not being fine without him? May not seem good, but it’s perfect. It shows youre capable of loving and that the day you find happiness by yourself or with someone who is worth it, youll apreciate it a lot more. You may not be fine without him…. But I’m sure you WILL be fine.
Good Luck XXXX -
nothing but me
I missed you, yellowroses
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yellowroses
goodbye grouphug. i’ll miss this site. i guess it’s back to a diary. goodluck to you people. you all have issues you’re going through & i wish you the best of luck with them.
Continue reading goodbye grouphug. i’ll miss this site. … -
yellowroses
i give up on trying to get people to understand. there’s no point. i will always be compared to the homeless or the ill. ‘no one is living my life except myself, i can choose to ignore the condition of my health.’ -tears that i cry, chuckie akenz ft kangel. There’s lots of kids sleepin I’m […]
Continue reading i give up on trying to get people to und…-
TooGoodToBe
I hope you check the site one more time before you decide to abandon it. One of my all time favorite quotes: “Your problems are the worst, because they’re yours.” It’s not my favorite because it’s profound, but rather because I think it shows empathy. When someone compares you to this person or that person, they’re not really trying to help you. All that they are doing is trying to guilt you into feeling better. And, honestly, does adding more guilt sound like it’s going to make you feel better? Maybe there are starving kids out there. Maybe there are people out there with more “fucked up” lives than yours. But you don’t feel their pain, and just because they are in pain does not belittle the pain you feel. So, while I understand the point these people are trying to make, I want you to remember the point that I’m making: The pain that you feel, your pain, cannot be fixed through more pain. Your diary doesn’t talk back to you, and while you might get mixed responses here, at least it’s a dialog. We talk back. One more quote for the road, though this one is slightly more full of itself without a lead in: “Pain is necessary, suffering is optional.”
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yellowroses
i feel like this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nRAgRoN9ak
Continue reading i feel like this song. http://www.youtub…-
lifesucks
LMFAO!
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yellowroses
sometimes, i just want it all to go away.
Continue reading sometimes, i just want it all to go away… -
yellowroses
some people think it’s easy to accept advice. it’s not. no one goes what i go through. those who do are seen as obsessive psychos.
Continue reading some people think it’s easy to accept a…-
quiteabitch
Shit happpens. It happens in the world, its part of LIFE and being HUMAN. Howmany of us fall in love with rockstars? Howmany of us deal or have dealed with depression? HOwmany of us have to face peer presure, sex, virginity loss, rejection, loneliness, low self-esteem, jealousy? Howmany of us have had to face TEENAGE? Im pretty sure most of us….All of us. And all of that, not to mention death of others. Many people go through what you go through and worse. Many people don’t even have a home nor food nor a family bearly a world to look at around them. People go through what you go and worse, not only physically but emotionally, yet they keep stong heads up with pride. Hunnie, what you feel is only half of being part of the world, have you ever felt the pain of death? Divorce? lossing a kid? Teenage pregnancy? War? Getting raped? Dealing with terminal illness such as cancer? Loosing a part of your body? Suicide attempt? Not having enough to eat? dealing with not having a roof on top? Fighting forever with family members? I myself, have bearly gone through half of those things, and even though I bitch about it I know it could be a lot worse, and Im thankful that I dont have to go through things many other people have to go through. Be more thankfull. People go through what you go through and worse. People go through what you go throough and worse. Keep that in mind please. It’s like you are going through a hell thatll never end. I don’t mean to offend you in any way, but It’s not always about yourself.
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yellowroses
i don’t think a lot of people do fall in love with rock stars like i do. i don’t think they’ve had ‘friends’ that called them crazy & mental & didn’t want them back from a psychiatric ward for suicidal ideation.
the possibility of things being a lot worse don’t mean you have to be grateful of what you have right now. if i had 1 meal, i should be grateful because i could be starving? if i have a home i could hardly pay for, i should be grateful that i don’t live on the dirty streets? my life is centered around me. simply because it’s my life & i don’t live for anyone else besides maybe him. i am thankful i don’t have to deal with my family dying, but that doesn’t make me hate my life any less.
i have faced enough as i could take already & i’m not grateful i was dragged to a hospital repeatedly without a choice. i’m not grateful that my father screams at me & says i”m playing around when i know i’m not.
how many people have friends that care? how many people have dreams that they can pursue? how many people have hope? how many people wake up knowing that no matter what they go through, they can get through it? a lot.
how many people fall in love with rockstars & are suicidal & was dragged to a hospital 3 times before they even reached their 15th birthday? i saw this girl on this mtv ep yesterday. no one understood her. she screamed ‘spend 1 hour in my shoes & you will shoot yourself.’
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quiteabitch
Yes. You should be grateful. I dont mean to sound like a hippie bitch or anything like that. But you Should. You could be having all this psycological problems…And then what if he died? What if you knew he wasnt happy with his life? What if you knew he was suicidal? Be grateful he at least seems happy with his life. Love is when you care about other’s happiness more than yourselve’s. He has a life full of good friends and fullfilled dreams. And so could you if, for a second, you tried to care about others other than him and tryed to move on. Life is tough, we all know that well enough. Let me tell you, more people fall in love with rockstars than you think. I know it was nothing compares to yours, but I myself have had the same thing. And I have cried myself to sleep cause I couldnt have him, and I felt like shit and all and it was terrible. <My friends dont care, they never did never will. I was dragged into the hospital too, my friends fucked up my life so bad and made me so insecure I drank a bunch of pills and when my parents found out they took me and made up that I was just having mensstrual pains and that was why I had swallowed all those pills. You know what the doctor said?? He described my pill drinking as "something stupid". You are only psyco cause you think you are. ANd, there ARE other girls like you, the one on Mtv ep and many others.
Many people have friends that don´t care, I hear it all the time on the net from all kinds of peopple. Only h0opeful people have dreams they can pursue. Without hope, I dont think there really is a point in wanting something. And the fact that even some people have friends that care and all these things, that doesnt mean you should feel like you cant do the same.
Maybe not too many people are sucidal about rockstars, but there are millions that are suicidal about other things suchs as death of others and pretty much everything. You can never face "enough" a human never goes through "enough" pain.You should try, instead of leaving grouphug. I cant see the poin in leaving, I know I dont understand you, and maybe I never will get what youre going through, but eventually there will be someone thatll make you fall in reason and concience.
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quiteabitch
Yellowroses, Im sorry. I just wanna help you, I just wanna make you understand that it could be worse, I dont mean to make you feel bad and if I did, Im sorry. I know this really aint excuse but I myself am going through things quite hard. IM sorry. OKease dont take all of this personally.
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yellowroses
i feel bad being on this site. i do write of a greater future. the dream. i do talk. but there’s no response. i ended therapy today. what now. all i have to say, i only have this site. i feel so washed out. i feel like im losing the will to live, but i […]
Continue reading i feel bad being on this site. i do writ…-
pd0815
I have replied. and tried. but those of us who care can only do so much when you’re all about yourself.
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quiteabitch
I tried sometimes, but I feel like you dont wanna be helped
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yellowroses
oh dont take it personally, i dont mean people on this site.
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yellowroses
im not good for you. i have issues. i have bdd. i have depression. i think about suicide a lot of the time. i won’t be a good part of your life. but i’m scared of healing because i’m scared to forget about my dream. i feel so helpless.
Continue reading im not good for you. i have issues. i ha… -
yellowroses
i think i have bdd.
Continue reading i think i have bdd. -
yellowroses
i have no idea to do on the week of 2012. so many people will do crazy things, but…what if we don’t die? then what? i don’t want to be that crazy girl on youtube confessing her love for a celebrity who doesn’t know who she is. if we will die, shouldn’t i take my […]
Continue reading i have no idea to do on the week of 2012… -
yellowroses
my fantasy is of the future but i long for the past. there were too many tears, but it was worth all the love i felt. i guess people can say i was truly obsessive back then, but i would trade that for now. now i’m like scattered debris… i’ve always tried to be perfect enough […]
Continue reading my fantasy is of the future but i long f…-
pd0815
would you perform on a casting couch for him?
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yellowroses
whats that
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yellowroses
people don’t get it. my EX best friend now told me to wake up. too bad my happiest is when i’m in my own lilttle fantasy.
Continue reading people don’t get it. my EX best friend … -
yellowroses
i’m mad that my therapist sent me to a hospital. she’s a mother too. how can she do that to me? i told her i would kill myself if i ended up there. i know how to. the staff is stupid anyways. i haven’t had a shot at my dream yet. i haven’t reached my […]
Continue reading i’m mad that my therapist sent me to a …
quiteabitch 9:56 pm on January 4, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
What happens?
quiteabitch 10:02 pm on January 4, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I honestly cant see how anyone is trying anything other than helping you.
nothing but me 3:39 pm on January 5, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Please don’t. Last time I feared you had killed yourself. Stick with us
AsKnownAs. 12:11 am on January 6, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
This seriously annoys me. If you haven’t got anything positive or empathetic to say, then don’t say anything at all!
Not you, yellowroses, but the fact that this is a place where people should come to express whatever they are feeling without any judgement from anyone else; Grouphug should be a place where you feel comfortable CONFESSING.
Despite whether you should have done/said what you did or not, we should keep our opinions to ourselves and just HELP that person.
At some point in our lives we’ve been judged by others, and how shitty does that make us feel? I know I’ve been made to feel guilty for what I’ve confessed on here a few times, but who are you to give your opinion, when you too are here as well for same or similar reasons?
I’m not saying what was said/done should be condoned, but the reason we’re on here is because we need to let off some steam of whatever has been happening in our lives. Others shouldn’t place judgement on another’s actions/words or issues. Even if you said it nicely or not.
I hope you come back yellowroses. Don’t feel bad for what you did, because it’s done. If you’re sorry, try and make amends or just leave things be.
Otherwise, go confess on the anonymous Grouphug : )
adeafmute 2:58 pm on January 6, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
@AsKnownAs
i find it rather hypocritical that you condem giving opinions while posting your own opinion
we come here for advise. advise is just a form of nostalgia and is therefor rife with opinions if we came here just to confess then we’d use the anonymous page but we dont we want the interaction
@yellowroses
i honestly dont see anyone judging you or anyone else here however you’ve obviously been offended by someone i hope its not myself but please realise that all we have for you and everyone else here is empathy as most of us have experinced similar existances
in short unlike your therapist we are emotionaly invested in you and everyone else around here we love you and each other even if we dont always agree.
lightlurker 11:30 pm on January 6, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
@adeafmute I saw two people judging, you were one of them. While a part of me understands your sharpness with her, you might want to rein it in more in the future. We all have opinions, that doesn’t mean you should be on the offensive when your declaring one. We are all together here, grouphug eh?
AsKnownAs. 7:47 pm on January 6, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
@adeafmute
I agree, it was hypocritical, no point in denying that. It even crossed my mind as I typed the above comment. I’m sorry.
I was just taking the defence of someone who came on here to express whatever they were feeling.
Yellowroses obviously wanted sympathy or advice, yes… as we all do. The reason why people come here, is to seek comfort by people anonymously, otherwise, why not just spill your guts to a family member, a friend, or someone you know? Otherwise, if you just wanted to confess without anyone’s advice, then like you (and I) said, there’s the anonymous Grouphug.
I’m a believer in constructive criticism, but not when a comment is based around analysing why they did what they did! If you’re going to make a judgement or shed your own opinion, then at least accompany it with some positive or helpful advice, void of whether you agree with their choices or not.
lightlurker 11:27 pm on January 6, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
AsKnownAs has said pretty much all I wanted to say in more flattering terms. So double that.
AsKnownAs. 1:29 am on January 7, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Thanks lightlurker, on both accounts
My intention wasn’t to piss anyone off, I just know how it feels when people make you feel inferior when they pass on their own biased judgement, even if they didn’t mean it to be hurtful.
I think we should just be more aware what we say and how it might make us feel if we were on the receiving end of those comments.
adeafmute 12:00 pm on January 7, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
my apologies i didnt mean to come across as judgemental in any way all i was doing was attempting to shed light on the situation as it was done for me when i was in yellowroses shoes
so yes maybe i shouldnt assume what worked for me would work for yellowroses however its all i know how to help someone
if im honest i tende to find that people in that situation (in my own experience and my recent studies) dont really respond well to coddling in my experince when i was hugged and told that the world would all work out whenever i told someone i was suicidle the world was fine for a few days and i was happy however when something went wrong i would slip into depression again it wasnt untill a friend of my was blunt with me that i stopped becoming suicidal granted it didnt stop me cutting that took the love of a good woman
maybe i drew too much on my own situation and past but it was in my opinion far from a judgement
ScrewEverything 1:35 pm on January 10, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
So, I think everyone should just quit bitching and realize:
A. Don’t post your deepdark secrets on a chat
type site and not expect conflicting replies.
&
B. Don’t be a dick in your reply, we all have different views,
but we all need to be conscious of the effect we have on others.