Tagged: alone RSS

  • cpop 12:19 am on April 12, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone, ,   

    I want to kill myself. I have wanted to kill myself for as long as I could remember. I attempted suicide when I was 17 and my mother came in to talk to me about God and how if you do bad things doesn’t mean you’re a bad person and that God always forgives, then I made myself throw up.

    I just felt so guilty. I feel so guilty. I feel like I have lost the will to live. I hate college, I was smart, school used to be easy for me. And now I can’t stand it, I can’t seem to get myself motivated. I don’t know what I want to do because I don’t want to be here.

    But living, it is interesting, sometimes the simple things seem worthwhile. But still at the end of the day, I just don’t want to exsist anymore. Everything seems so boring.

    I numb myself with drugs and alchol and feel like it is isolating me from everyone.

    And the thing is, I would kill myself. I just can’t. I love my family and I think it would really break their hearts if I did it. I love them so much and its just difficult because I do hurt them, my selfdestructive behavior it affects them. And I feel like such an asshole for being how I am.

    The worst part is everyone thinks I am fine. I think there has always been something wrong with me, inside, I just don’t know what it is. Yes I can be on antidepressants but I really am not sure if thats it. I don’t know what to do. I wish I never exsisted.

     

    • yellowroses 3:10 am on April 12, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      maybe you need to talk to someone, like a therapist. it’s horrible letting people know you go to therapy, but maybe that’s the best for your safety. it’s good that you love your family, hold on to that.

  • JadedNikky 5:36 pm on March 11, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone, ,   

    I got my heart broken a few weeks ago. It still hurts when he doesnt talk to me or joke around like we used too. It makes me feel alone sometimes. Other times it makes me feel angry. And occasionally, I still feel for him.

     

    • quiteabitch 6:01 pm on March 11, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Aw,….Im so sorry…. Would you mind explaining what happened?

      • JadedNikky 6:14 pm on March 11, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

        Well, my friend (lets call him Brady) told me a few weeks ago that the dude I like (lets call him James) told Brady that he likes me. So Brady was like: Do you like him? And I said yes.

        So the next day Brady told James that I liked him (they share art class together) and when I got to the class me and James share, James ignored me the whole way through, no matter how many inside jokes I did or anything I did.

        So I questioned Brady about it and apparently, James didnt really say he liked me, Brady assumed he did. So I got heartbroken in the end result.

        So yea. [/story]

        • quiteabitch 8:19 pm on March 11, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

          James is an asshole. Too inmature tbh. Why wouldnt he talk to you over such thing? Im sorry but nothing but an inamture asshole. O bet he sdoesnt deserve you.

          • JadedNikky 12:35 pm on March 12, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

            Haha, thank you. Thats actually the part that hurts me is that he wouldnt talk to me about it. He is pretty immature though and I would love to say I’m over him, but it does resurface ever once in awhile. So I’m just going to ignore him back and find someone else who’s better to go after, you know.

            • quiteabitch 6:50 am on March 13, 2010 Permalink

              Yeah….Its ok & normal to feel that. We must remember that its not with our minds we feel…But with our hearts. Yeah, try someone else who does deserve you. Good Luck ;)

  • Little Red 4:09 am on March 8, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone, ,   

    I wish my ex best friend was dead. Actually dead. Not breathing. Does that make me a monster? At least I can admit to it, right…?

     

    • SlowlyRising 11:08 am on March 8, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      That’s quite a thing to want for a former friend. It may be none of my business, but what did they do that made you feel this way?

    • questionmark 11:59 am on March 9, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      I’d say it makes you human. Anger is healthy to a level. Like food and relatives it must be taken in moderation.

  • seasky 7:27 am on February 20, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone, ,   

    I don’t want to do this anymore.

    Some years ago, I lose myself and now I can’t find myself anymore. I don’t know who I am, and I have no self-control over my actions anyway. Like how people who don’t “work” with education leave it, life and I aren’t working. I don’t know what I’m doing here anymore. Life has nothing to offer me, and I have nothing to offer life.

    Worse than that, I’ve burnt my bridges, and now I have no one left to turn to. I decided to take risks for once, and they’ve all turned out horrible. My anxiety just won’t leave me. I’m sleeping badly, unmotivated to do anything, am completely apathetic to my school work. I can’t even have normal, emotional relationships because I’m so effed up - I reject and resent anyone who tries to show me affection.

    I need help but last time I mentioned mental health to my mother she cried and cried and blamed it on herself. Which in turn made me feel almost like throwing up with guilt. I don’t know how much longer I can do this, I’m so close to drowning. It’s never been this bad, I’ve never been this bad.

    I miss whoever I was. I miss whoever I lost. I’m broken and I don’t know how to rebuild. I just…I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m too young to be here already.

     

    • LieToMeSoftly 2:29 pm on February 20, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      I wish I had the right words to tell you, something to help but I feel the same emptiness and loss. Just know you are not alone, others share your pain. It’s never to late to change anything.

    • codedarmes 4:29 pm on March 5, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      u should go to 4chan.org ya

  • itsme1 2:43 pm on February 11, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone, , , , , , , , , , ,   

    I have tried being happy lately. I really do hate being down and I am normally an upbeat person. I am usually telling my wife to be more positive…The truth is, I hate my life. I feel like the last 14 years have been a waste. I messed up and put myself in a situation where I am living where I do not want to live. I have a job that I hate and can’t find another one. I feel like I am a failure as a father. There is nothing that I want more than a “Do Over” button.

    I know that isn’t possible, but I can’t get my mind off of it. I just want to start over. Is there anyone else out there that is over $100,000 in debt and that does NOT include a house? Yup that would be me.

    I am trapped and I feel like there is no way out. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Life is just going to continue to suck until the day I die. Heck, the way things are going for me, the way I die will suck too. It will probably be some long drawn out and painful thing.

    Hope…I want it. I want to believe that there is something better. That it will get better. If you knew me, you would never believe that I feel this way. I have gotten really good at acting positive and happy. I have even had people tell me that they wish they could be positive like me, that they look to me as an example of this. If they only knew the truth. Inside, I am a wreck.

    I get up in the morning and dread going to work. At the end of the day, I dread going home. The only place I wish I could be is where I consider home.

    I never get to go there…She finds a reason why we can’t go. Not that they aren’t legitate reasons…but she always finds them. I don’t think she does it on purpose, but she does it.

    I want happiness.

     

    • GraingerGuy 3:07 pm on February 11, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      You’re seriously $100K in debt? Credit card debt? Time for bankruptcy my friend. It’ll get the creditors to stop calling and will give you a plan and peace of mind. Call an attorney. That’s one way to start.

    • Y ask Y 5:35 pm on February 11, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Hey man. It’s never too late. There’s a saying that you have to eat an Elephant in small bites. Right now I’m sure it looks insurmountable, but even the smallest step towards change might create an Avanlanche towards something greater.

      There’s truth in your post, and certainty. The certainty is that if you don’t make a change of some kind, you’re right, your life is guaranteed to be ass until the grave. Hope will come from change, man. It won’t just fall out of the sky. And that’s frightening and it’s shit and it sucks, but that’s how it is.

      I don’t know about the debt. But I do know about no having much money to go around. The money has nothing to do with your ability to interact with your kids. Being a great dad is free. It’s just a matter or perspective, and if you don’t have money, ingenuity. You can do it.

    • bobburgster 7:40 am on February 12, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      file for bankruptcy

  • bjg 10:12 pm on February 5, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone, , , ,   

    i am fourteen and i am fat and hairy. i know that i will never get a boyfriend. i am anxious all the time. all the fucking time. i can’t leave my house. i hate my life. i have headaches all the time. everybody is partying and once again i am home alone eating and crying and writing stupid fucking shit.
    i wish i had the courage to kill myself. i think about it everyday. the ONE thing that is stopping me is the fear of afterlife. i don’t know what i am more afraid of…life or afterlife. existentialism crawls through my mind everyday and tortures me.
    FUCK
    I AM FUCKING MISERABLE.

     

    • yellowroses 10:47 pm on February 5, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      please don’t…you’re probably not fat or hairy. there’s always losing weight & shaving if you are. i’m sure you have reason to live. you’re sad, but there’s still happiness ahead for you.

    • cibllmrd 1:35 am on February 6, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      You are only 14….give yourself time to grow up. Things change and I felt similar to you once upon a time. You can change your appearance.

    • quiteabitch 5:01 pm on February 6, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      I agree with yellowroses. Couldntve said it better myself.

    • whyme3 10:18 pm on February 13, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      when i walk in class i feel the exact same way. Everyone hates me even the teachers, and most of my old friends ditched me when they found out i wasnt as cool as some people. i wanted 2 kill myself or run away to las vegas with my dad, and i almost did, but i either knew it would hurt me or I’d be too scared to do it. I know what ur talkin about nd where ur comin from. Ive been about 50-100 poundsd overweight since kindergarten, and now in 13 nd da 7th grade 210 lbs. as for the hairy part, for me at school, one day i blew up and tryd 2 tell a boy off, and i might have said i was bi but im definately not. now they stalk me nd call me to tell me that. as for the boy friend part, so far ive only had 3, and eaach one lied nd cheated on me. apparently, they didnt want ppl to kno we went out, so b lucky yu havent had 1. go 4 da 1 dat likes yu 4 yu nd likes the activities yu do, not a flirt who jus wants anybody. im always scared somebody is gonna make fun of my body even more rthan usual, so all through the year, i wear a jacket to hide behind. i hope yu feel better knoing deres ppl out here that feel ur pain.

    • questionmark 12:07 pm on March 9, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      *sigh* High School. There’s nothing quite like it is there? Listen up, you are at a tough age. I know you’ve heard this before, but there are biological reasons for your frustration.

      You are at the self discovery age, hormones are coursing through your veins, you feel the need to bond, to mate, to be accepted. At this age it is a pack mentality. Things are growing, body hair, boobs, other things we shall not mention here.

      See here’s the thing. I was in the same boat you were almost a decade ago. I was TALL I do mean tall 6 foot by the age of 13. I didn’t grow boobs until I was 16, much less have a period. I got called names, “Jolly Green Giant”, “goony bird”, etc etc.

      Now looking back I’m grateful. Do you know why?

      Take a look at the people around you. LOOK at them through your eyes, don’t think of them in the way you are supposed too. Don’t classify them as the jock, the slut, the cheerleader, the bandnerd. Just LOOK at them objectively. Age them up about 10 or 20 years.

      NOW tell me, is that really someone you envision yourself with in the future. Do you REALLY want to share genetic material with the specimens you see around you?

      I’m willing to bet that you are going to have to reply with a resounding NO to most of the people you see in your classes and at school.

    • lolarunsfast 9:30 pm on March 29, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      When I was 14 I was awkward and hairy too. High school sucks. I used to wish for a boyfriend everyday, some guy who would show interest in me. My friends all got boyfriends, and they were annoying to be around, and that made the situation even more depressing. I was sure that I would never get a boyfriend either.

      Besides, the ones that party at 14 get pregnant before they’re 20. Stay at home and enjoy food. Watch some TV, do your school work. And then, after the hellish purgatory that is high school passes, get the fuck out of that place. Meet new people. New friends will build up your self esteem.

      I’m still pretty awkward and hairy, but I’ve come to be happy with myself. Don’t you want to be around to watch as the “hot” people slowly fade in attractiveness as you mature and become more and more beautiful? And don’t you want to be around to experience the joy of a first boyfriend and a first kiss? It’s worth it, it will happen eventually.

  • El_Scorcho 1:59 pm on January 30, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone, , , ,   

    It’s been five months since I last kissed you. I feel so alone without you. Barely anyone likes me.

    But you loved me, I see that now. If only I saw it at the time. I loved you, you’ve always known that. Whether you know I still do, I don’t know.

    If I were to guess, I’d say you do. I can’t believe you don’t love me anymore though, or you do, and aren’t willing to have a relationship with me anymore. I just read the single status on Facebook, and I had that heavy ache in my heart instantly, like I had just been broken up with again. I know you know about my depression. Maybe you know it’s because of you that I want to tear out my wrists.

    Maybe you know that it’s because of you that I can’t. This dilemma hurts so much. I love you, but I don’t want to hurt you.

    I can’t love you any more than this. I never could and never will be able to love anyone more than this.

     

  • Canyoureadmymind 3:38 am on January 25, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone, , , , ,   

    My heart is broken. But its not because of you. I would never give you that much credit. I broke my own heart isnt that what you would say? It was all my fault everything is all my fault. I could be hit by a car in a crosswalk and it would be my fault. Well that doesn’t change the fact that I’m hurt. Have you ever thought just once that I maybe admit everything is my fault in hopes that you’ll just fix me. Heal me? If I admit the pain is my fault there is no need to discuss it just get rid of it? Right? But no nothing is ever that easy. My life isn’t easy but you think it is.

     

  • O.R.T. 6:03 pm on January 14, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone   

    No one is ever as they show themselves or describe themselves. I keep trying to get close to people but they end up having the other half to them I never knew, and once I see that, makes me cry. I feel like I will be alone forever if this time things don’t work. How can it work? She lives across the continent from me…

     

    • lifelost 1:47 am on January 15, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      i know what thats like. I miss her and i have never met her. I love her. She used to love me. It wont work for me. Ever. But i keep hoping. Its what keeps me alive.

  • MeaningfulUsername 4:12 pm on January 14, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone, , lonelieness, , , , , uninterested   

    I would really appreciate advice from both guys and girls on this one….anyone, really.

    Is it normal to be dissapointed when I work up the ovaries to tell him how much I love him and how interested I am in him and whatever he’s doing and only get a “ditto” or “me too” as a response? Do I have some sort of unmatchable passion? Why do guys always do this after not even that long into a relationship and how can I get him to be “obsessed” with me too? Is it even possible? Is he just not expressing it?

     

    • O.R.T. 6:28 pm on January 14, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      You do not have an unmatchable passion, it’s just that either he isn’t verbal about his feelings, or he doesn’t share those feelings. It’s hard to verbally communicate to someone how you feel in a relationship and try and make them feel how you feel through the extent of mere words. So either you have to believe him, or you don’t…

  • somewhereBX 5:10 pm on December 25, 2009 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone,   

    Christmas sucks when you’re an adult; especially when you don’t get along to well with your family and you have no friends. How depressing. Even sulking is annoying me.

     

    • chb_97 6:07 pm on December 25, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      I understand, I’m in the same situation. Finally got rid of the dysfunctional relationships in my life (some of them family), but now don’t really have healthy relationships to take their place. So here’s me, home, alone, on Christmas. Hang in there. This f*cking holiday will be over soon.

      • somewhereBX 6:28 pm on December 25, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

        I hear that. It’s been tough to make new relationships. My wife and I recently split (we’re seeing other people, got together young, blah blah). That’s great and all, but I really don’t have anything to do. It’s pretty lame. I have not social life, and now I’m here bitching about it. I just want to fast forward the fun part already.

        • chb_97 7:02 pm on December 25, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

          Sounds like my life. Why does it have to be so hard to get out of the old stuff and into the new? I’m divorced now, new job, new living location, etc. Starting over is absolutely what I wanted and it was the right thing to do, but it has taken so much out of me, I’m exhausted. I want a social life, friends, companionship. etc. It’s been too long and I’m ready for life to be fun again!!

          If you figure out how to fast forward, please let me know. I could really use it too :)

          • somewhereBX 7:51 pm on December 25, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

            I’m in the early process of starting over myself; it’s terrifying. I really feel alone. Is it time to “man up”? Eh. FFWD>>>

  • Dmonix 5:53 pm on December 18, 2009 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone, ,   

    im always torn between wanting companionship and saying fuck it, most of the human race is idiotic anyway. but alas, this feeling of loneliness doesnt want to go away. my dad (r.i.p) was a bit of a drinker, and i know i shouldnt, but i would kill for a case of beer. i mean, at least they would keep me company..

     

    • chb_97 6:14 pm on December 25, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      I hear ya. I want people in my life, community, friendship, bf, etc. But then people in general just annoy the hell out of me. I know I shouldn’t start drinking again, don’t really want to, but man it’s a nice way to pass the time.

      Don’t know if that helps you, but it sure helps me to know that I’m not the only one out there who feels this way.

  • scp 9:13 pm on December 5, 2009 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone, , failure,   

    i think i hate my mom. i know, i know, i’m supposed to love her, and i’m trying hard right now but I’m tired of it.
    I’m tired of striving for her approval and never getting it. I want to give up. I’m tired of her being a bitch to me when I’m trying so hard. Why does she even deserve it? Being around her just makes me feel like a failure.

     

    • thallie 12:43 am on December 6, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      I understand this. Believe me, I do. There are a billion times a day where I think how easy it would be to just stop speaking to her and never look back. But someone on here told me something, and it’s really stuck with me:

      Oftentimes, the people who deserve our love the least need it the most.

      I know it’s hard, but she is your mother. I didn’t speak to mine for three months last summer. I moved to another state in that time. And, honestly? As much as I hate her, and as much as I hate all that she’s done to me and, I know, will continue to do to me, it really sucked to not talk to her.

      I wish there was something I could say to make it better, but there isn’t. Just try to grin and bear it. It’s all you can do, really.

      I wish you the very, very best.

  • noleftturns 8:35 pm on November 29, 2009 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone, , , , surprise   

    I wish someone would surprise me with something nice. Just once.
    I feel like I’m always trying to please people, and I never get the same in return.
    Take me to lunch, stop by my place for a visit unannounced, show an honest interest in me for once, I don’t care.

    I just want proof you guys love me back.

     

    • immortally.alive 9:02 pm on November 29, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      I know exactly how you feel. sometimes you give n give n give, but when ur in need theres no one in sight. my friends only talk to me when they need somethin n they never text or call to see how im doin. although i’d spend my last dime on them.. Theres not much i can do. The world is selfish and ugly… good thing theres still ppl like us. keep ur head up, cuz ur probably making someones day.

    • Remixer 10:00 pm on November 29, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      People are far less grateful for what you do for them than you will probably ever believe.

      However, you have no right to expect the things you do.

      Either they show interest in you or they don’t. Humans are fickle that way.

      Trying to “coerce” (for lack of a better word) them into having an interest in you by doing nice things for them, the fault lies with you and noone else.

      If you are not satisfied with it, find better friends or change your attitude.

      Remixer

      • noleftturns 10:49 pm on November 29, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

        Wow, you’re pretty cynical. When it comes down to it I don’t do nice things to get people to like me, I do them because I like people. My friends like me and I like them, and I have to congratulate you on getting me to see that by posting a response as useless as “people suck you should get better friends.” That’s a real gift.

        P.S: You don’t have to put your name at the end of your post. We already see it at the top.

      • noleftturns 10:55 pm on November 29, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

        Addendum: After seeing your other posts, I’m pretty sure you’re either out of touch with humanity, a troll, or a fourteen year old.

        • Remixer 11:08 pm on November 29, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

          Cheers, but I’m neither of those.

          Regardless, the point still stands, that if you’re not happy with what you have, change must occur.

          Whether you accept that logic or brand it as cynical and me as a troll, is your decision. Neither affects the argument in place.

          Remixer

    • Kitty 11:25 pm on November 29, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      I feel the same <3

      - Shannon

    • secondchancesx3 8:31 am on November 30, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      I kiind off feel the same sometimes..but not really. Like I do things for people because I want to do them. Not because I expect something in return.

      but then sometimes, set the whole, i do things for people aside, i feel like i just dont get treated well sometimes. But it has nothing to do with the fact that i did something for them first…

      idk if that makes any sense at all. lol

  • thallie 2:18 pm on November 23, 2009 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone,   

    He just told me about how he spent last night taking care of a girl he barely knows who is “very depressed”. Why can he deal with her, but not me…?

     

    • Dmonix 2:56 pm on November 23, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      well maybe its easier for him because he doesnt care for her as much as he does you. ya gotta talk to him and tell him how ya feel!

  • Dmonix 2:44 pm on November 21, 2009 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone,   

    im incredibly lonely and i think its slowly driving me insane. i’d like to think that sometimes the universe has plans for me, and ill find a cool group of friends and everything will be okay, but right now it seems mary jane is my only friend. and sometimes i cant even find her :(

     

    • Kitty 2:46 pm on November 21, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      hey.
      I’ll be your friend.
      i sometimes feel like i will never find someone that i can truely rely on, to be my friend forever.
      But then, we have all the time in the world dont we.. sort of.

      http://adayinthelifeof-theshannon.blogspot.com/

      - Shannon

      • Dmonix 2:52 pm on November 21, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

        well i appreciate that. i guess i feel like i have so much to offer someone, yet i still have no one to offer it to. plus the whole being insecure about being alone thing makes it a bad combo

        • Kitty 3:04 pm on November 21, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

          me too, im always being told im special and so unique and talented in so many ways. yet.. im not good enough to be someones true friend. :/

          • Dmonix 3:06 pm on November 21, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

            well id think we’d make good friends. i guess the thing to do is either wait for em to come to you, or go out and find some people who are on your level.

            • Kitty 3:15 pm on November 21, 2009 Permalink

              yeah. If you want to talk to me on msn..
              @hotmail.co.uk">chocolate-73@hotmail.co.uk
              :)

    • somewhereBX 5:08 pm on December 25, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      I feel the same way. Sometimes Mary isn’t even that fun. This sucks.

  • thallie 5:43 pm on November 16, 2009 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone, , ,   

    I miss him so, so, so, so incredibly, mind numbingly, heart achingly much. All I want is a call a night. Ten minutes. But that’s too much to ask for. I’m so lonely, but what else can I do? It’s even worse, because I know that he’s with her when he’s not talking to me. I know he’s not cheating, but I still feel like he’s choosing her over me.

    I wish that I didn’t love him half as much as I do.

     

    • Cornholio 5:55 pm on November 16, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Thallie: I feel for you, I’m in the same position. I wish I could forget her. Though we’re meeting again soon I think this will be a mistake

    • secondchancesx3 9:23 pm on November 16, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      “I miss him so, so, so, so incredibly, mind numbingly, heart achingly much.”
      &&
      “I wish that I didn’t love him half as much as I do.”

      2 sentences that describe exactly how i feel about internet dude. :(
      arrgghh…

    • bunny 11:53 pm on November 16, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      This describes me so well, too

    • scp 9:29 pm on December 5, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Oh god, I can relate so badly. <3

  • thallie 6:21 pm on November 9, 2009 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone, , , never   

    I feel like I’m trying to climb up an icy hill. Every time I get to where I can see the top, I just slide back down again, and I feel terrible, because I know it’s silly of me to be so angst-tastic when there are so many people who have real reasons to be upset.

    I realized today that, if he asked me to marry him, right now, I would say yes without question, even after everything that has happened. That led to the realization that him asking that question is the thing I want most in the entire world, the thing I would give up everything else for. The worst part is I don’t think that question is ever going to get asked.

    I feel ridiculous, typing quick little blurbs on the ups and downs of my life here. All the same, it’s nice to know that someone else out there in internet land is reading this. It makes me feel so much less alone.

     

    • 102030405 7:51 pm on November 9, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Your issues aren’t silly! Whatever matters to you is important.

      I hope he does ask you to marry him. If it will make you truly happy, it’s worth waiting for — don’t be so anxious, if it happens, whenever it happens will be the perfect time for it.

      Also, this is a good place to get your feelings out, you shouldn’t feel ridiculous for posting here. If it helps you express yourself then by all means do it. :-)

      I hope things work out for you, thallie.

  • Dreamboat Annie 7:35 pm on November 2, 2009 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone   

    I just wish I had someone I could really talk to…… is that too much to ask?

     

    • coliniscolin11 7:37 pm on November 2, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      i know exactly how your feeling… i still have thoughts that i have never shared with anyone. its not too much to ask for though… there’s always someone who will listen to you.

    • ithinkineedahug 8:26 pm on November 2, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      yes i agree completely….i will listen along with coliniscolin if you like…:\

    • Desolate and Forlorn 10:20 pm on November 20, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      i know the feeling

  • Aoir 12:15 am on October 21, 2009 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
    Tags: alone, bed, , cuddling, ,   

    I’m tired but I don’t want to sleep. I hate the actual GOING to sleep bit. Because I just lay there, alone, in my huge cold bed. I think a lot of the time, about how much I wish I had someone to lay with. Just so I could feel the closeness of another person, their warmth. I haven’t felt that physical little affectionate fluttering in my chest that I get when I’m cuddling with someone in a long time..

     

Older Posts →

c
compose new post
j
next post/next comment
k
previous post/previous comment
r
reply
e
edit
o
show/hide comments
t
go to top
esc
cancel