I wish that I could like my mother, but after this week, I’m not sure if I can. All she seems to be doing is overriding my wants and needs just for her selfish reasons. I need to talk to people at the college I attend because I’m afraid of failing a class I can’t fail and I need to work my ass off before the semester ends, she nearly made me cancel a meeting I had been fighting for weeks to go to since it’ll give me some way to get out from underneath her control, and what does she do? She runs all of that over because she wants to move in spite of the fact that I told her this ahead of time. Not only that, she seems to taken up to making degrading about me about being disabled and kept on insulting me throughout the meeting with them. I’m also sweltering because it became hot all of a sudden and she’s refusing to run the cooler for any reasonable amount of time. I’m just getting tired of her bullshit.
Tagged: anger RSS Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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akune
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hi, how are you
Why do you yell at me? Why are you always complaining about my untidyness? Why do you say I’m nasty when I tell a nut joke/ pun (everybody is, incluiding you)? Why do you say I can’t hug properly? I CAN hug properly! Just because I’m strong, it doesn’t mean I can’t hug poperly! Damn […]
Continue reading Why do you yell at me? Why are you alway… -
questionmark
People who do not work seem to have all the time in the world to chit chat with those of us who do work about mundane unimportant things. Shut your freaking yap and get to the point already.
Continue reading People who do not work seem to have all … -
carbonlifeform
That guy that i thought was so absolutely perfect for me… the one that seemed to be everything I wanted… we’re over. We did the long distance thing for almost 2 months before it ended, and everything he promised me wouldn’t happen, did. He told me he would do EVERYTHING in his power to make […]
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Cr73
I am sick of being sick all the time. I am tired of waking up so that I may throw up and not drown. I am tired of having to watch everything I eat so I will not become more sick. I am fed up with Doctors that think they know more about what is […]
Continue reading I am sick of being sick all the time. I …-
hugsalot
*hug*
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JOHNSGIRL
I miss you so much. I don’t understand what happened. One day everything is fine the next you won’t talk to me. OMG your 40 years old, we are not kids why are you acting like one? So I leave you a message and tell you fine, I will go away and leave you alone […]
Continue reading I miss you so much. I don’t understand …-
pd0815
It’s all out of the blue? Just from the information in this post i surmise he’s playing games with you. Don’t call… play the game if you want but if you do, games is all you will play forever.
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Canyoureadmymind
My heart is broken. But its not because of you. I would never give you that much credit. I broke my own heart isnt that what you would say? It was all my fault everything is all my fault. I could be hit by a car in a crosswalk and it would be my fault. […]
Continue reading My heart is broken. But its not because …-
codedarmes
good
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Misunderstood
I have truly found out why to keep friends close but enemies closer. They people i once thought were friends are the probably the worst people I know. They use me for an emotional punching bag, degrading me constantly. They drag me to lower my morals forcing me to appear and almost be one of […]
Continue reading I have truly found out why to keep frien…-
yellowroses
have you tried telling them?
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forget_me_not
I would leave them, then when they blackmail, just say they’re making it up to spite you. Make them out to be the immature ones that they would be if they stoop that low.
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LadyAdelaide
Sometimes I really wonder what it would like to be completely mediocre. No AP Classes, no Junior Olympics. Just to be a C student. Nobody would expect anything. I could just enjoy these years of my life while they lasted. I could play Guitar Hero after school instead of shorting myself sleep doing homework. I […]
Continue reading Sometimes I really wonder what it would …-
AsKnownAs.
I think you’re afraid of what people think of you, LadyAdelaide.
Personally, I can see that you’re the type that goes for what they want, and the only way in doing that is to put in effort and actually try. You work hard, and you get the results, people are just subconsciously envious that they can’t commit and apply themselves like you do.
They don’t know how much it hurts you when they resent you. You should never resent yourself for trying. You are a very studious-type of person and I can see that you are very intelligent. There is nothing wrong with being those things, there is nothing wrong with who you are and the way you approach life. What is wrong is what people think of you, and in turn, what you think of yourself because of them.
You want to be average just so you can be ‘accepted’, you don’t want to be stereotyped as’ the one who always gets everything right and has a simple life because of it’.
You aren’t content with your life, only because you have all of these thoughts going through your mind.
And how dare people say to you, ‘You’re smart, you’ll figure it out.’
But perhaps because you commit yourself to the extent in which you have, maybe they think that your existence is only based around study and homework and assignments. They don’t see the deeper side of you because you don’t let them. Do you get what I mean?
Maybe this is a sign that you need to be kind to yourself and live a little. I think you need to learn to find a balance. You said you wished you could play Guitar Hero after school rather than immerse yourself into the work? Well, on occasion, why don’t you do that? Set up a routine for yourself, give yourself enough time to study, get enough sleep, but always, always, ALWAYS, make time for You. I can imagine why you are so close to losing it at these people, because you have surrounded yourself by work.
You’re human, and so naturally, you want to have leisure time, but you are restricting yourself from it. Who the hell prefers study to socialising with friends? There are rare times when I have preferred to sit and do homework or maybe write out a mock essay, than to hang out with my friends.
What it boils down to, is if you are not willing to change your study pattern, you need to thicken your skin and let all possible insults and resentment from fellow students bounce right off of you. Especially your resentment toward yourself.
But you need to learn to relax, and do something that isn’t work related. You don’t want to suffer consequences, please don’t harm yourself. You’re worth too much to do something like that.
I’m sure if these people who send negative energy in your direction saw this side of you, they would be very, very shocked. Namely because they think you only do things work-related. Clearly they are naive and are very, very wrong.
If you want to help this situation, you’ve got to help yourself. Don’t be ashamed of your intelligence and your persistence. Don’t hate yourself, because people want to be successful like you, don’t overwork your mind because you need - I will repeat this one more time - balance.
I hope I was of some help to you, I really wanted to get my point across.
Take care and all the best.
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AsKnownAs.
I don’t know if my comment has come through, but luckily I have saved it, and will send it through later.
The very best.
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Chemistry
I used to be like that.. One of my teachers always called herself a recovering perfectionist. In a way, I think I sort of am, but I just feel like I went downhill. I used to strive for perfect grades, perfect resume, blahblah. Then I fell into depression and just stopped, but not enough that my grades totally slipped. I slept in class, but I still did enough work to get me A’s and the occasional B’s. The first B stung, and then I just got used to it. My class rank dropped, and by graduation, I started to regret it. Anyway, I know I’m probably rambling, but yeah… Now I’m sort of back to my former self, and I get anxious just thinking about getting anything lower than a high A on an exam. I was even disappointed by a 95. I feel silly, but it just makes me nervous to mess up or make a mistake.
But it’s good that you are working hard, and it will all come back to you one day. Don’t push yourself too hard, though. Life is short, and you only live once. You’re only young once. Skip out on homework once in a while if it’s cutting your life away. I know I shouldn’t be giving advice like that. Sorry, I’m babbling and my thoughts are all scattered. (I’m sleep-deprived but I can’t fall asleep.)
I feel lonely, too, but maybe for different reasons. It’s weird, because I’m in the same conundrum that you mentioned. When I’m around other people, I just want to be alone. When people invite me to places, I don’t want to go. And then when I’m sitting at home alone, I wish I had somebody. Anybody. And it’s like, well, who got yourself into that position? I wish I knew how to fix it.
I’m sorry I didn’t offer any wise words or anything of that sort. I guess I just wanted to connect because I related a little.
Keep your chin up. There’s nothing wrong with you, and I’m sure you’ll be amazing one day.
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Misunderstood
Hey, I totally feel you. I’m still in high school. Not valedictorian material, but liek 10th in my class. When get a B+ my “friends” are like “OMG! Its not an A! Thats not good enough for you is it” Sometimes they’ll ask me how to do something and I don’t know how they ‘ll say “bull s***.” Then I do JROTC as a leader and my follwers expect me to never make a mistake or lose my temper. And martial arts, if I forget training at home for just a few days I get in trouble. All my relatives expect my to be morally perfect. It’s horrible. Sounds like you have it worse, but I thought you should know you’re not alone.
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LadyAdelaide
I really appreciate the understanding comments. Thanks a bunch. ^.^
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capitolp
I feel like I need to mention a couple more things so that I can acknowledge them as issues. I’ll make them quick. First thing, I heard my fiance and her brother talking in the next room while I was (supposedly) asleep. He proceeded to criticize me about things, especially things I have no control of. […]
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immortally.alive
OK. I admit it. I’m FUCKING insane. I want to hurt people, i want sex all the time, sometimes i punch myself in the arms to see bruises the next day. I Have been eating nothing. I’ve been drinking redbulls, and alcohol, and smoking cigarettes for 5 days now. i’m hypoglycemic, so they all get […]
Continue reading OK. I admit it. I’m FUCKING insane. I w…-
its.cold.inside11
oh no. ohnoohno. go for a bike ride and eat a salad. you can be okay. i promise.
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immortally.alive
I’m IN FUCKING LOVE, with someone who wont love me back, who is fighting his feelings because he’s so FUCKING shallow, because i’m a little bit thick, fuck you. i’ve wasted money on U, n time, n i put my whole fucking heart into this, only to find out u were using me as a […]
Continue reading I’m IN FUCKING LOVE, with someone who w…-
Remixer
I believe immortally.alive has much deeper-rooted issues she would be best off first solving.
Her head isn’t working right as it stands.
Remixer
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Remixer
Probably.
Remixer
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immortally.alive
LoL My head is my head, probably better than ur head! just cause i wont fall victim to some worthless piece of shits games. and im not that fat, i get hit on daily by men who are quite attractive, n this one, it was his personality that got me… he’s the dissappointment not me..
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secondchancesx3
Really? Theres no problem with being thicker. Why does everyone need to be skinny little poles? They don’t. As long as your healthy, it shouldnt matter your damn size. Gah.
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camomile
I agree size is not everything health is,and health is very important and physicall attractivness and beauty is not everything and it doesnt promise you luck and happiness in love ,it all depends who is your partner and how he treats you and are you really happy with him.I dont beleive everyone can be 100% happy in a relationship couse we all have our faults and we have to work on relationship.Its hard,I dont want to go through it especially for some jerk who is not willing to work on a relationship ,who is running when you get angry who doesnt act as an responsible( respectfull) person, who is mummies boy and who is selfish and makes you feel like its you ,it is all you and he has nothing to change.I hate users and abusers and cheaters too.i dont want to be the one only giving there must be 50%-50% or other wise goodbye I am not going to waist my time we all have a life and right to be happy adn respected and if he is not happy with that too badddddddddd.
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thallie
Dear Starshine, You’ve not called me in I can’t remember how long. Not even when Jimmy died — all you could do was text me with “I’m sorry”. It’s always IM with you now — skype for a few minutes once every few weeks, if I’m lucky. I remember when we used to count down the […]
Continue reading Dear Starshine, You’ve not called me i…-
ShastaKey
I just got out of a relationship that was kind of like this. I was hurt, I was used, I was taken for granted. I couldn’t talk about it, either, because it’d upset her and I’d have to console her. Just like you.
And it killed me. Every day, it killed me. Because, God, I loved her so much. Loved her with everything I was. I wanted to keep her forever.
I’m not going to tell you to break it off. I know it’s not going to work. If you do break it off, it’ll be because you’ve had enough, not because anyone told you so. Especially some nobody on the internet.
I’m going to tell you that you deserve better, that you shouldn’t be hurt like you are. Because that’s true. I’m also gonna do my best to keep listening to you. I’ve been where you are, and it’s just about the worst.
Stay strong. You’re worth it, even if nobody else seems to think so.
Godspeed, Thallie.
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AsKnownAs.
Thallie.
I always care. But it seems that what I told you was something you didn’t want to acknowledge because you care about this person so much.
Sorry if I upset you, it wasn’t my intention. I know you are speaking generally so I’m not targetting only myself.
Whatever decision you make in life, its what is meant to be, or at least meant to happen.
I hope this person comes to realise how their actions have hurt you.
And if they don’t, I hope they keep you happy anyway.
All the best, from the bottom of my heart Thallie,
Daniela.
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thallie
Sorry, Daniela. I wasn’t trying to attack you. I’m just very frustrated with him tonight. Everything is just sort of snowballing from stress and all that. Know that I always take what you say to heart, and I know that you care about me (: I’m sorry if it seemed like I was attacking you. You’re not the only person who has pointed out that a pattern is forming lately, and I’ve been considering my options (or non-options, really) and… bleh.
I mostly just needed to let it out, I think. And GroupHug just happens to be the best place to do that.
Internet hugs for you, Daniela. You are an amazing friend (:
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thallie
p.s. also posting here sometimes makes me angrier/braver and actually get off my ass and do something.
Like fuss at him.
Which is what I’m doing right now.
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ShastaKey
Power to you.
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thallie
I am Thallie. Hear me roar.
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florantine
One of the hardest things to accept is change. Relationships change—they have high points and low points. When we romanticize the high points when the high points were all in the past, this could be a problem. There is hope, as long as you keep enough of that in your pocket, you can get through what could potentially be a low point. Remember, though, hope is not sustenance. You can not survive an entire relationship on hope. You just have to gain the eyesight to spot the point that’s past too late. After hoping long enough with no positive change. You know, there is fighting, too. Some of us try to fight change through denial or ignoring it.
I’m not sure how much sense I’m making. I hope I am making sense.
Oh, your writing is beautiful. It’s on-key, you know— If you were a singer trying to find the right pitch and hit the right notes to express your love for Starshine and your dejection, too. Yeah, your writing hits all the right notes.
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Chemistry
I know I’m a little late with the response, but I do agree that the writing is beautiful and I feel like I can completely relate.
I miss when he used to talk to me because he wanted to; because he said he his day wasn’t complete without having at least one legit conversation with me. Now, it’s kind of like he just talks to me because he needs someone; he just feels lonely. Blaaah.
I think ShastaKey is absolutely right. You DO deserve better. Nobody deserves to be in such pain. But you will eventually become strong enough to realize that there is better out there for you, or the idiot boy will realize that he should treat you better.
I hope it’s the latter. Keep us updated ♥
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scp
i think i hate my mom. i know, i know, i’m supposed to love her, and i’m trying hard right now but I’m tired of it. I’m tired of striving for her approval and never getting it. I want to give up. I’m tired of her being a bitch to me when I’m trying so […]
Continue reading i think i hate my mom. i know, i know, i…-
thallie
I understand this. Believe me, I do. There are a billion times a day where I think how easy it would be to just stop speaking to her and never look back. But someone on here told me something, and it’s really stuck with me:
Oftentimes, the people who deserve our love the least need it the most.
I know it’s hard, but she is your mother. I didn’t speak to mine for three months last summer. I moved to another state in that time. And, honestly? As much as I hate her, and as much as I hate all that she’s done to me and, I know, will continue to do to me, it really sucked to not talk to her.
I wish there was something I could say to make it better, but there isn’t. Just try to grin and bear it. It’s all you can do, really.
I wish you the very, very best.
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resolve
I’m not sure where you get off thinking that you can talk to me like you do and then not expect me to get upset with you for it. Of course I won’t stick up for myself because it’s not worth the fight and I know that by now, but still. It doesn’t make my […]
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thallie
Dear Mum, It is incredibly hard to feel love for you when you have done nothing but hurt me since the ripe old age of twelve. Calling me once this afternoon before yelling at me via email about what a horrible daughter and person I am for not returning said call does not make me feel […]
Continue reading Dear Mum, It is incredibly hard to feel…-
102030405
Maybe you should try telling her this. Who knows, maybe she really doesn’t realize the extent of how she’s made you feel.
My parents are not the listening type, but one day I sat them down and told them all the ways they’ve been screwing up their relationships with me since I was young. And they tried to change.
Sure, they went back to how they were before, mostly. But I think I’ll just have to remind them…
I don’t know you or your mother, but it could work. I didn’t think it would, but it helped.
Good luck, though, with whatever you try.
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thallie
I may try.
My mum and I have had issues for a long time, to the point that I moved to another state and didn’t speak to her for about three months last year. I told her why, and we made up and everything was peachy for a while. And then she tried to commit suicide, and cited me as the reason. So now she’s back to making me miserable, but I’m scared to actually yell at her for fear she’ll try to kill herself again.
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102030405
Maybe just try and catch her on at a good time or a time where she’s in a better mood then usual. And just try to talk but in a respectful way, try not to yell or raise your voice. In the end maybe make it clear to her that you love her and you’re not trying to guilt her, just that this is how she makes you feel sometimes (maybe unintentionally) and ask her to please watch how she speaks to you.
If she tries to, it’s not your fault. You should not feel as though you have to sacrifice your happiness for her, instead just try to find common ground.
It’s a tough situation, especially because of the pressure you’re feeling because of her suicide attempt. I honestly can’t relate to that since I’ve never had anybody I know try to do that, but I’d imagine this could help — maybe.
Whatever you do, I hope you find a way to be happy. :-\
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oxymoronish
Is it wrong to be pissed when you make some art for someone in a contest, and they barely acknowledge it? It happened. No thank you. And when I finished an art commission for another person and sent them a message, they never replied. And I don’t know if I even got my payment. Ugh.
Continue reading Is it wrong to be pissed when you make s…-
Group.Huggies
Maybe they thought your work sucked.
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unknown
wasn’t very nice that Group.Huggies
and oxymoronish, thats an awful thing to happen, what would you say you can learn from this experience though? -
oxymoronish
Heh
Well I’ve lost trust in most people I make commissions to now. -
CurrerBell
No, it’s certainly not wrong to feel that way.
Is it possible for you to take half the payment before making the artwork? You know, like a bond for an apartment? I don’t actually know what a bond is, but I hear it a lot. You know how you pay four weeks’ rent before you actually move into a place, just as a means of insuring your stay and ability to pay?
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oxymoronish
Ohh o.o Never though of that
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adamv2.0
I’ve finally had it
Here’s what I don’t get. YOU introduced me to this girl. And now because you both have some huge falling out, everyone that knows her is under suspicion and their loyalty is in question? I’ve been a loyal friend to you since the beginning, and yet I’ve been on the chopping block more than once […]
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bornwrong
Ever since I was little, I never cared about my appearance. I was born with horrendous teeth, one sticking out and the others mashed together in a hodge podge all over the place- to make it worse, I had a dentist tell me it was the worst case he had seen. That hurts when you […]
Continue reading Ever since I was little, I never cared a…-
Dan-Yella
Crooked teeth shouldn’t matter. Anyone who judges you about your teeth or any other flaw you may have, are superficial and are just trying to make themselves feel better.
My ex had a black front tooth. Do you think I cared?
Look beyond these things. Your Fiance clearly does!
Daniela
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bornwrong
The sad part was it wasn’t intended as an insult. The customer that said it to me was trying to compliment the execution of the outfit.
If it had been an insult, I could have glazed it over, rolled it off my back and gone on. But it was the honesty and the sincerity which the customer thought were fake teeth that hurt so much.
No, looks shouldn’t matter- but everyone has something about themselves they wish they could change, alter, or even do away with.
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thallie
I have never seen you, but from this post, I think that you are beautiful (:
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manb91uk
I’m full of a rage and anger that I’m finding harder and harder to displace and escape. It’s like there’s a second person inside of me and all he wants to do is spread vermin and hurt and kill people. I do not know where this rage comes from but even when I’m in the […]
Continue reading I’m full of a rage and anger that I’m …-
ridingthebullet
I feel so much the same way. I fear there’s something to me that I don’t know whether or not to befriend.
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manb91uk
It’s just hard because I know I want to help people and try to make the world better - but then there’s a a savage part of me that wants to kill and destroy everything I touch - I don’t know which is my true nature
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pd0815 6:26 am on March 8, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Ok. this guy isn’t the one with the problem. you are. I know WoW players. I’m one myself. one relationship ended because of it but the answer is to find a girl who absolutely doesn’t mind it or plays it herself. First I found a girl ingame and we had a long distance thing going on. then I found a local girl that plays it and we play together. I’m really sick of people blaming the fucking game for their problems. Yea it can be consuming but so can relationships.