I’m bisexual. I keep telling myself that nobody will care, but I’m too afraid to tell anybody. My family and my friends will just judge me; they’ll think of me differently. It’s been haunting me since I started college last semester. I’ve sat around doing nothing just thinking about it. My grades are terrible, my friends don’t call me anymore, and my brother keeps asking me what is wrong. But I can’t tell them now. Not yet.
Tagged: feelings RSS
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noworries
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♥jy.
ive been having feelings over a guy for months. im 13, hes 17. we went to the cinema. everyone found out D:
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nothing but me
Why is that a problem?
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4815162342
Because 13 is too young to be dating a 17 year old guy…
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anonym00se
Agreed. At 13, she wants a boy to love her.
At 17, he wants pussy really badly, and that’s all he wants.
Thirteen years old is too young to be giving it up.
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quiteabitch
Lol its ok. 4 years of difference is just fiiiine! Id say you shouldnt be embarassed, not even if he was a lot older. Love doesn have age.
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suckingatlife
I ended things with you because that is what I thought was best for me and my kids. I was ok with it. I never cryed over you and never wanted to. I regreted you and me. I thought you were the wrose thing that happened to me. You let me down. You lied to me. And Im pretty sure you cheated on. I was good to you. I let my walls down for you and I dont do that for anyone. You were my sunsine. You made me love you. I let you love me. The last few weeks was the most painfull weeks of my life. And then that day came. You went away. Thats when I ended things with you. I was ok with it for so long. And then I got a letter from you. At first I thought that it was all a lie, maybe it is all a lie. But I cant help but belive it. All I do is think about you. I miss you. I need you. I want you. Noone understands why. I dont understand why. I just that you could have stoped with the drugs, and the drinking. No matter what that is the reason I will or could never be with you again. But your the only one I love.
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pd0815
ya know. i get what you’re writing here and i’m sorry for what you have lost but whatever is happening to you in regards to someone you just threw away for whatever reason you deserve. Man, it urks me when people are looking for the greener grass, make decisions that effect more than just themselves, then talk about the regret of it later. I hope the other person moved on with their life and found the complete happiness they deserve. I also hope they never look back to the drama of being a pawn in someones unhealthy decision making.
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ScrewEverything
I don’t know how to feel about this, about the way he makes me feel.. I don’t know what it is about him, but he amplifies things. When I’m with him and I’m happy, its amazing, I feel happier than I have in a long while. On the down side, when I’m not with him, and the slightest thing goes wrong or bothers me I flip out and start to feel worse than I did before he and I were together. My mood swings are worse than ever, and I feel that I am getting way too attached. Today my (really good) friend made a small comment about how he doesn’t like my boyfriend and I freaked out. I apologized later, because honestly I didn’t know what happened. Not only are my mood swings getting worse It’s like I’m totally losing control.. Oh, the effects you have on me..
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quiteabitch
Im glad you are concious about this. I think you should try to tell youreself its ok without him. You can love him, and that’s ok. But love is supossed to make you feel better, not to worsen your life. I dont know how old you are…But you may not last forever and you must know that it will happen. Eventually hell be out of your life. Try to be positive when hes not around…Try not to depend on him and try to understand he wont be always there.
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JOHNSGIRL
I miss you so much. I don’t understand what happened. One day everything is fine the next you won’t talk to me. OMG your 40 years old, we are not kids why are you acting like one? So I leave you a message and tell you fine, I will go away and leave you alone and I have done it. I ache without you. But the past two days your texting me one word, hey. WTF So I answer back with hey and then nothing. What is going on? Do you think you did no wrong and are waiting on me to call? I don’t get this at all. So today no text, no nothing. I miss our friendship, our long talks, hearing about what your doing during the day, the next day. Did it all mean nothing to you? We have known each other so long, I don’t understand. If there is a problem just call and say so damn it! I am a strong woman and refuse to call you like some weak little girl. You are the one who decided you didn’t want to talk one day out of the blue without a word. I have cried a thousand tears and my heart aches like it has been ripped into pieces. I gave you my heart and feel like you took it for granted and stomped it into the ground. I know our lives are complicated with other relationships but I don’t care. You are such an important part of my life…where are you…what are you thinking…
Please to God call me-
pd0815
It’s all out of the blue? Just from the information in this post i surmise he’s playing games with you. Don’t call… play the game if you want but if you do, games is all you will play forever.
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confusedtrio
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itsme1
I have tried being happy lately. I really do hate being down and I am normally an upbeat person. I am usually telling my wife to be more positive…The truth is, I hate my life. I feel like the last 14 years have been a waste. I messed up and put myself in a situation where I am living where I do not want to live. I have a job that I hate and can’t find another one. I feel like I am a failure as a father. There is nothing that I want more than a “Do Over” button.
I know that isn’t possible, but I can’t get my mind off of it. I just want to start over. Is there anyone else out there that is over $100,000 in debt and that does NOT include a house? Yup that would be me.
I am trapped and I feel like there is no way out. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Life is just going to continue to suck until the day I die. Heck, the way things are going for me, the way I die will suck too. It will probably be some long drawn out and painful thing.
Hope…I want it. I want to believe that there is something better. That it will get better. If you knew me, you would never believe that I feel this way. I have gotten really good at acting positive and happy. I have even had people tell me that they wish they could be positive like me, that they look to me as an example of this. If they only knew the truth. Inside, I am a wreck.
I get up in the morning and dread going to work. At the end of the day, I dread going home. The only place I wish I could be is where I consider home.
I never get to go there…She finds a reason why we can’t go. Not that they aren’t legitate reasons…but she always finds them. I don’t think she does it on purpose, but she does it.
I want happiness.
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GraingerGuy
You’re seriously $100K in debt? Credit card debt? Time for bankruptcy my friend. It’ll get the creditors to stop calling and will give you a plan and peace of mind. Call an attorney. That’s one way to start.
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Y ask Y
Hey man. It’s never too late. There’s a saying that you have to eat an Elephant in small bites. Right now I’m sure it looks insurmountable, but even the smallest step towards change might create an Avanlanche towards something greater.
There’s truth in your post, and certainty. The certainty is that if you don’t make a change of some kind, you’re right, your life is guaranteed to be ass until the grave. Hope will come from change, man. It won’t just fall out of the sky. And that’s frightening and it’s shit and it sucks, but that’s how it is.
I don’t know about the debt. But I do know about no having much money to go around. The money has nothing to do with your ability to interact with your kids. Being a great dad is free. It’s just a matter or perspective, and if you don’t have money, ingenuity. You can do it.
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bobburgster
file for bankruptcy
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nothing but me
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LoveIsAllAroundYou
I never thought anyone like you could exist. You’re my everything. I’m in love with you. I know you like me, but I’m so afraid to tell you I love you. Thanks to you, I feel free. I broke up with my ass of a boyfriend, I learned to stop listening to my father’s awful criticism, I’m over the other ‘him’, and I’m slowly getting happier with life. You’re always there. You care about others way above yourself. I only wish we lived closer. I would give you all the love I had. You are a much more wonderful person than you give yourself credit for. Much more…
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nothing but me
The boy who walks home with me… I realized how special he is. He is sensitive and really cares about everyone. This is not very common, specially among boys.
Should I tell him how I feel about him?-
Kitty
That depends, does he know you well? Or have you known each other long?
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nothing but me
We have known each other for a year but we started to know each other better some months ago. Read my previous post, maybe you’ll understand better my situation.
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LoveIsAllAroundYou
You have to tell him. I can’t tell you how many times the perfect opportunities have passed me by, just because I was too afraid to say how I felt.
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resolve
I’m not sure where you get off thinking that you can talk to me like you do and then not expect me to get upset with you for it. Of course I won’t stick up for myself because it’s not worth the fight and I know that by now, but still. It doesn’t make my pride anymore fun to swallow.
Also, if I ever dyed your hair as badly as you dyed mine last night, I wouldn’t be surprised if you freaked out and couldn’t talk to me for weeks. You take yourself too seriously. I can laugh it off and accept that you didn’t do it on purpose, but you take everything so damn seriously.
You’re so hypocritical, too. How can you bitch at me for offering advice to someone about something I know a hell of a lot about and then go and do the same thing to everyone else about everything all the time? I’m trying to help someone take good care of their animals, and half the time, you’re just bitching about how much everyone besides you sucks at photography or will never have a car as nice as yours or your boyfriend’s.
It’s sad. Because you’re my best friend by default. If you weren’t, then I don’t think I’d want to be your friend most of the time. Ten years of friendship is hard to shrug off.
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resolve
I’m really worried that I’m not going to be able to lose the last thirty pounds that I need to lose in order to be sworn into the Navy. I’m working out five days a week, eating right, but I can’t help but think that I’m doing SOMETHING wrong.
When I leave, I’ll be leaving behind my boyfriend of four years and my best friend of ten years. I’m not sure I’m going to miss them. I’m not sure I’m going to miss anyone. Maybe I’ll never come back. Maybe I’d really like that.
I’m really looking forward to being a new me. The new version won’t be a doormat. I think I’ll like her.
If I can lose the thirty pounds, anyway.
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102030405
Good luck making the weight limit, it’s great that you’re disciplining yourself in order to get what you want, do what makes you happy!
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waitingforever
look up the detox diet. What I did was only eat natural organic foods and drinks for 30 days and I lost almost 20 puunds the first month and then another 35 over the course of two months. Totaling 55 lbs shed. Look up “Full Circle” food products. They have this awesome balsalmic dressing that you can put on chicken, wrap it up and bake it for an hour, it tastes yummy. Also dont eat red meat mostly chicken and fish not fried or breaded, just baked or grilled in non fat organic oils or water and herbs. Trust me this helps.
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youdontknowmebut
after two and a half weeks, i know without question that i’m in love. it’s not like i’m 14 and don’t know thew difference between infatuation and love, i’m 20 and have been burned more than enough times to know what it is… and this is it. i hope he’s okay with it. i hope that if he isn’t in love with me, he will be, he acts like he is. i hope that he can handle the situation i’m in, the kind of person i am. because i love him and i’m not letting him go.
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sabbath
If he loves you then I’m sure thats enough to handle any situation you’re in
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noname
So I have this problem, a kind of normal problem I guess.
I’m still in love with my ex boyfriend.
We started dating August 20th and we were on and off for 9 months. I never gave him head, but I let him take my virginity. After he took my virginity he decided head was more important and left me for some other girl.
That was the first time I ever experienced a heart break.
He came back for me because he still “loved” me. After I took him back, he did it again. Except this time he went on a date with the girl while him and I were still dating, so I proceeded to dump him.
That was the second time I experienced a heart break.
We still talk, and sometimes we’re best friends. This summer we went to warped tour together and it was amazing. On the way home he told me that he still loved me and he chose the girl he’s with now only because I chose the guy I’m with now. That’s bullshit. Whenever we talk he says it’s my fault and if I didn’t dump him that day we’d still be together.
Oh how i wish i didn’t dump him.
Now several months since the last time we we’re together, i have a boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong, i am so so happy, and i do love my current boyfriend, but sometimes I get into these moods where all I want is my old boyfriend. I want things the way they we’re a year ago. He has a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend. I know that if i wanted to i could have sex with him. Although, that’s not what i want. My parents hate him, my friends hate him, my current boyfriend hates him and his girlfriend hates me. There is so much friction between us.
I’m just not sure how to feel.
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Dan-Yella
I’m in a slightly similar situation.
Except, we broke up after 9 months for fighting over the most irrelevant things that just weren’t important. The thing is, we still remain friends in the hopes of working things out.
That’s when it gets sticky. He doesn’t know what he wants it seems, because one minute he can be cold and distant and then the next, we’ll hug eachother, and everything feels just right.
Its so much easier to just fall into a pattern, rather than moving on. And although you have moved on it doesn’t seem like you’re over your ex. Maybe if you had some single, alone time, you might be able to clear your thoughts.
All the best.
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padyirishman
hiya wana chat
padyirishmanatyahoodotcodotuk
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eradicate
In a couple of days, I start the eleventh grade at the high school that has all of my old eighth grade friends, ones I know I will not connect with as I used to, and a couple of relatives.
I feel sort of angry about this, because I absolutely loved going to a school where no one knew me and no one cared enough to pity or comfort me when I’m alone. Feeling like the odd one out always gets worse when someone tries to include you and fails miserably.
As well, my father, who literally only talks to me about my academic achievements, called today. We talked about my future academic opportunities (shocker). Sometimes I feel like if I didn’t attend school or any kind of learning institution, we would have nothing to talk about. My father has always been the source of every insecurity I have ever had about myself, but today, for some reason I just stopped caring. When we talked, I remained civil, and when we hung up I didn’t feel like locking myself up in the washroom and crying my eyes out. I also feel a little empty. It’s odd, really.
So much more to say, but I don’t really have the energy to type out every single thing I feel horrible (or a lack thereof) about right now. Maybe tomorrow.
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LimaBean
I know what you mean. Feeling empty is sometimes even worse than the most extreme emotions.
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joei
this could be the start of really growing emotionally, realising that you only have to please urself. not even ur family.
2 more yrs and hs is over.
maybe u and they have changed enough 2 make the years. tolerable.
if not, even 2 yrs. is not 4ever.
try 2 work out what u really would like to do 4 a job and focus on getting training or schooling in that field, not what ur father wants.
make after hs the start of YOUR life! hugs
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hellothere
I feel so damn sad every day and I don’t know why. It feels like there is a weight sitting on my heart, but I have no reason to feel so sad. I have so much to be thankful for.
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nothing but me
I know exactly how you feel. Used to feel like that when I was younger. You may have friends, family, a home… But something is missing. Try to find what is it and why.
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doesitevenmatter
i know how you feel… i am depressed all the time. i find talking to people helps sometimes but i am pretty sure its up to you to make you feel better. just keep trying to do somehtig with ur life…dont let the sadness get the best of you.
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sugarr
are you feeling empty ? sit down and question yourself.
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sumstratt
It may not be a situational problem, it might be a chemical imbalance. Talk to a doctor about it, make sure you don’t have depression or bipolarity or anything like that. A lot of people think they do because they get sad, but if you feel this way all the time, it couldn’t hurt to ask and to maybe get some help.
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ScrewEverything 4:29 pm on April 25, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I know what your going through, somewhat, at least. It does suck. :l
You could always do what I did.
Start out by telling someone else whos into the same sex, someone you can trust.
That way you have someone to talk to about things and once your ready start telling your close friends.
CurrerBell 12:58 am on April 26, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply
You know, some people might say, “Oh, it’s no big deal. It’s just ONE part of you. It doesn’t define your entire being” but it’s hard not to think about it all the time, isn’t it? It’s hard because you know it’s the one part of you that might mean you’ll be liked less, loved less, for who you are. I sometimes start to hate myself because I know my parents will hate me for it, or my friends will see me differently.
I hope you know there’s no pressure to tell anyone yet. You can tell someone once you feel and know that you’re ready. That might be next week, next month, next year, who knows.
Does your college have a LGBT support group? It’s generally an anonymous place and it might help make you feel a bit less afraid.
noworries 10:06 am on April 26, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Thanks for the kind words.
My college has a very large percentage of LGBT people attending; in fact, the city it is in has a reputation for it. But I’m not a very social person. I have a tendency to have panic attacks when too much attention is drawn to me, so I tend to avoid group things. That’s why I feel like I can’t really tell anyone because I have this nagging feeling that I’ll suddenly break down one day. I’m an incredibly emotionally unstable person. And I know that my few male friends are going to get distant, because that’s how they were with another of my close friends that came out.