I have been watching my mother struggle with cancer since I was 17, and I am 21 now. She has gone through all the stages of finding it, treating it, remission, and then the dreaded finding it again more times than I would like. Every time feels the same - panic, depression, fear. But she […]
Continue reading I have been watching my mother struggle with…Tagged: frustration RSS Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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aqueousequine
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outlet
God I’ve gotten so depressed and hopeless in…
God, I’ve gotten so depressed and hopeless in finding someone that I don’t care about anything anymore. There is this one girl though.. but 1. She lives in a city next to me 2. She might be leading me on. I hope not.. I don’t think I could take something like that right now.. so […]
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oftheday
I’m 19, never been kissed, and the only one out of my close friends who doesn’t currently have a boyfriend. “Sexually frustrated” is a massive understatement. During this winter break I’ve been spending hours in bed trying to construct this fantasy of having a boyfriend and masturbate to it, but apparently my own imagination isn’t […]
Continue reading I’m 19, never been kissed, and the only…-
AsKnownAs.
Hahaha
I can completely relate! Considering that we’re the same age and I am also a virgin. My last relationship was over a year ago and I am most definitely not the type to just get out there and ‘get laid’.
I found being in this particular relationship I wanted to wait before I finally did the deed (which I never did), and so we let out our sexual frustrations in other ways.
Depending on the kind of relationship you find yourself in, you might find that you’re comfortable enough to have sex immediately, or, you might find that waiting is the better option.
Honestly, if you truly like the guy on an emotional level, though physical thoughts are currently plaguing your mind, you won’t be acting like some sex-depraved rabbit, because it goes beyond that : ) Probably at times you will only be thinking for pleasure, but that’s normal and to be expected.
As for the fantasies and such, if that’s what makes you feel better, then so be it. We’ve all got some guilty pleasures!
You know when you’ll meet someone? When you stop thinking about meeting someone.
Here’s a good quote:
“Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.”
- Henry David Thoreau
Also, don’t let the fact that you’ve never been kissed or the only one of your friends be an issue for you. It just means that when you do finally kiss, it’ll be so much more worth it, and you might just be the lucky gal out of your friends who snags the ultimate Prince Charming!
Look on the positive side of life, I know I’m trying to : )
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oftheday
Haha, I just reread my original post and apparently I was really worked up when I wrote that. Slightly awkward now…
I’m pretty shy, so even though I really want to meet someone, I really don’t act like it. I’m pretty sure I give off a strong “not interested” vibe.
The issue with my friends is not about me trying to catch up with their level of experience. I’ve never felt jealous of them (maybe because I’m not attracted to any of their boyfriends), but I do sometimes
feel like there’s a part of their lives I can’t relate to because I’ve never been in a relationship before.
More than that, it’s just really awkward to be the 3rd/5th/7th wheel sometimes. If I just had one friends who was single then we could be buddies, but it’s just me. Me and four couples.
The worst was New Year’s Eve a year ago when we all slept over after the party and I was the only single person in the room. It was a really lonely and uncomfortable experience.
I am trying to stay positive though, haha. Next semester I’me studying abroad in Europe and hopefully the experience will bring me out of my shell a little bit.-
pulse
‘abroad in Eurpoe’?! You’ll be fine! I’m sure you’ll have the time of your life and meet quite a few suitable guys.
Don’t be disappointed in yourself in regards to fantasies, as AsKnownAs roughly said everyone has them. Whatever works for you
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quiteabitch
I agree! I bet itll be even more special!! =)
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lightlurker
Don’t feel bad at all for being worked up. I’m just another stranger out there, so I can only be so comforting but I’ve felt exactly the same.
To the line exactly.
I’ve gone through many moods of being so insanely curious and horny about all things sexual.
Or not even really all that deep! Wanting badly just to know what it felt like to be kissed or even innocently touched.
I use to wish there was a book on this stuff, that just told the straight honest truth so maybe if I wasn’t missing much I’d get over it!
Maybe when I get past the kissing stage with my boy, I’ll do such a thing, truth is it wouldn’t have helped me, and it won’t help you.
We can listen to others experiences but the truth is we don’t hear it.
The fact is, everyone here is right, be patient.
Man I know it sucks. I’m not a very open person either, its hard to meet people and start a relationship.
Jesus, my own was a complete accident, the sort of accident that is one of those once in a life time, so I don’t know how to really jump into one from scratch.
I wish I knew how to speed up the process, I don’t.
I can think of one positive thing to say! The fantasy thing is completely normal, I know a erotic writer whose writings all but burning. I use to rely on my own creativity, sometimes it wasn’t enough, it happens. Its hard to have the mindset some of these erotic geniuses.
I hope your frustration softens soon, I hope we have given you some comfort and I hope when you find someone he rocks your world .-
oftheday
Haha, if I couldn’t rant to random strangers once in a while, I would probably just explode.
The only thing a book like that would be good for is showing me exactly what I’m missing in greater detail… unfortunately there’s no substitute for a real life relationship.I totally agree with you about how there isn’t really a trick to meeting a guy, and I really do want to take it slow and let things develop on their own. I just don’t really know what to do with myself in the meantime.
I’ve never talked to anyone else who reads erotic stories. It’s pretty awesome that you can relate to exactly what I was talking about. Makes me feel way better about myself.
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Lethal Love
In four days, NaNoWriMo starts. In four days, I begin writing a social commentary. In four days, I pour my heart out into this novel. Years of confusion, anger, and hate towards people. Years of useless knowledge, years of heartbreak and tough decisions and things never turning out how I want them. In four days, […]
Continue reading In four days, NaNoWriMo starts. In four … -
Quiet Riot
I’m not going to pursue technology or healthcare for my career. I have passion for learning about languages and culture, so that is my aspiration - to become an interpreter. I wish you would understand. I wish you weren’t so asian!! GAH! Actually, I wish I could actually address this to you instead of saying […]
Continue reading I’m not going to pursue technology or h… -
carbonlifeform
That guy that i thought was so absolutely perfect for me… the one that seemed to be everything I wanted… we’re over. We did the long distance thing for almost 2 months before it ended, and everything he promised me wouldn’t happen, did. He told me he would do EVERYTHING in his power to make […]
Continue reading That guy that i thought was so absolutel…-
pd0815
Ok. this guy isn’t the one with the problem. you are. I know WoW players. I’m one myself. one relationship ended because of it but the answer is to find a girl who absolutely doesn’t mind it or plays it herself. First I found a girl ingame and we had a long distance thing going on. then I found a local girl that plays it and we play together. I’m really sick of people blaming the fucking game for their problems. Yea it can be consuming but so can relationships.
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misanthropic
Frustration
Of all the things I am afraid of, I am most afraid of failing.
I was raised as an achiever; my parents pushed me to be the best - there were no doors that would not open for me, were I to pull them.
They instilled in me a constant need to best myself until in an inertial manner I have surpassed all others in whatever mattered to me most.I thought, as a child, that this would be enough. Yet, as I grew up, I discovered that there were always others considerably better than myself at what I did; I found out that not all doors are open, and that not all people will like me for striving to make constant progress.
Society has abandoned me, and I have gradually abandoned it in response.
“I don’t need them!”, I said to myself. “They’re just fools!”, I exclaimed.
I decided that all my creations; all my endeavors would be oriented towards impressing intellectuals, regardless of their chosen areas of interest.I had an egotistical wish to spark within one’s mind the bright shimmer of inspiration that had been cast in mine by many others; to leave behind something grand enough that I would stand out, even in this age of animosity.
But then, the problem. I cannot impress neither society, nor its intellectuals; and worst of all, I cannot impress even myself.
I’ve spent countless hours perfecting my works, I’ve many times lost sleep. I thought, as I was making them, that I would finally create a masterpiece; alas, I created only works which were below average.
I wrote many words; but none as elegant as that of any writer that I’ve read.
I’ve played many songs on my guitar beloved: And yet those songs were heard with pleasure but by me and it; and sometimes, I suppose it sighs and weeps that its owner will never use it to its full potential.
I have painted, I have drawn; what was in the mind and heart as powerful as tidal waves came out depicted as lowly, empty gusts of wind.
I have entered many contests - none of which I’ve ever won.And then, the more I looked around me, the more I realized the truth about myself.
I am not the best. I am not the wisest. I am not unique. I am not creative.
I have no one, and even my own self is turned against me.
Good readers, I confess - I am a failure as a man.
I have lost all moral values, and there is nothing I believe in any more.
I am fit to be nothing more than an observer. Perhaps that is to be my fate; but in my name, there will be no stories written; and I shall not likely write any myself.
Then, I am fit to be nothing more than nothingness itself.Funny thing, familiarity: I shall keep moving on, as I have never stopped.
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All Time Shannon
your confession really moved me, i know nothing about you.. but if you can write this you certainly are something…
now, maybe its just me, but i feel as though you have a gift. of course everyone does.
You are unique, for you are you and nobody else can be.
Nothing means something, therefore if you say to yourself you are nothing, you are ALWAYS something. (‘:my little words of wisdom there.
- Shannon,x
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raven
i spent a few hours on sat night talking to you. well if its not you, then its someone who has the exact same issues as you. and that is just so ironic. i haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.
the whole time you were sitting there telling me how much of a failure you are i felt like giving you a huge hug and talking you through that nonsense, to the other side, where you can see that there’s no such thing as a “perfect” person/existance. that you can be destined for great things and acheive great things and affect and inspire people without you even knowing it.
anyway, you’re probably not the same guy i spoke to on sat night, but, by the sounds you have the same feelings of inadequacy. and they’re probably 100% unfounded.
JUST LET YOURSELF BE. just be. forget about the ways in which you feel you don’t measure up… true success is letting all of that go.
And M___o if that is you, chin up buddy, you’re awesome and I can’t believe you don’t know it.
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misanthropic
Fortunate, he who has such friends.
People are never perfect; yet, at times, they achieve certain things, worthy of boasting about.
I’ve not boasted in a while.-
raven
so you can only acheive self-validation if you boast to/get praise from people??
there’s your problem. you need to please yourself and no one else. yeah recognition would be nice from time to time, but so long as you’re making yourself happy, that’s all that really matters. the sooner you realise this and believe it, the more organic and inspired your work will become.
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mouse
From what I can see , you wish to be brilliant at everything ,witch is just some thing that is impossible.
find your true passion , sick with it , and you will become the best you can be.
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LadyAdelaide
I think I might possibly a little bit hopefully be trying to start to get over you maybe.
Do you ever wonder if what you say hurts me? Perhaps, if you decided to discard that “I could care less” mentality you’d realize that you have said some terrible things to me. You have targeted my weaknesses that I thought I could expose to you and you shove them laughingly in my face. It’s […]
Continue reading I think I might possibly a little bit hopefully be trying to start to get over you maybe.-
pd0815
I don’t know why you’re hanging on either. to be with someone who only cares about themselves is horrible and will never change even if it seems to. you threaten to leave - oh i’ll change - you believe - then 2 months goes by and you’re back at square one. don’t let the attachment keep you unhappy. everyone deserves to be happy. even this person you’re talking about. if he cares less about you, he should be with someone who settles for less.
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thallie
Dear Starshine, You’ve not called me in I can’t remember how long. Not even when Jimmy died — all you could do was text me with “I’m sorry”. It’s always IM with you now — skype for a few minutes once every few weeks, if I’m lucky. I remember when we used to count down the […]
Continue reading Dear Starshine, You’ve not called me i…-
ShastaKey
I just got out of a relationship that was kind of like this. I was hurt, I was used, I was taken for granted. I couldn’t talk about it, either, because it’d upset her and I’d have to console her. Just like you.
And it killed me. Every day, it killed me. Because, God, I loved her so much. Loved her with everything I was. I wanted to keep her forever.
I’m not going to tell you to break it off. I know it’s not going to work. If you do break it off, it’ll be because you’ve had enough, not because anyone told you so. Especially some nobody on the internet.
I’m going to tell you that you deserve better, that you shouldn’t be hurt like you are. Because that’s true. I’m also gonna do my best to keep listening to you. I’ve been where you are, and it’s just about the worst.
Stay strong. You’re worth it, even if nobody else seems to think so.
Godspeed, Thallie.
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AsKnownAs.
Thallie.
I always care. But it seems that what I told you was something you didn’t want to acknowledge because you care about this person so much.
Sorry if I upset you, it wasn’t my intention. I know you are speaking generally so I’m not targetting only myself.
Whatever decision you make in life, its what is meant to be, or at least meant to happen.
I hope this person comes to realise how their actions have hurt you.
And if they don’t, I hope they keep you happy anyway.
All the best, from the bottom of my heart Thallie,
Daniela.
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thallie
Sorry, Daniela. I wasn’t trying to attack you. I’m just very frustrated with him tonight. Everything is just sort of snowballing from stress and all that. Know that I always take what you say to heart, and I know that you care about me (: I’m sorry if it seemed like I was attacking you. You’re not the only person who has pointed out that a pattern is forming lately, and I’ve been considering my options (or non-options, really) and… bleh.
I mostly just needed to let it out, I think. And GroupHug just happens to be the best place to do that.
Internet hugs for you, Daniela. You are an amazing friend (:
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thallie
p.s. also posting here sometimes makes me angrier/braver and actually get off my ass and do something.
Like fuss at him.
Which is what I’m doing right now.
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ShastaKey
Power to you.
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thallie
I am Thallie. Hear me roar.
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florantine
One of the hardest things to accept is change. Relationships change—they have high points and low points. When we romanticize the high points when the high points were all in the past, this could be a problem. There is hope, as long as you keep enough of that in your pocket, you can get through what could potentially be a low point. Remember, though, hope is not sustenance. You can not survive an entire relationship on hope. You just have to gain the eyesight to spot the point that’s past too late. After hoping long enough with no positive change. You know, there is fighting, too. Some of us try to fight change through denial or ignoring it.
I’m not sure how much sense I’m making. I hope I am making sense.
Oh, your writing is beautiful. It’s on-key, you know— If you were a singer trying to find the right pitch and hit the right notes to express your love for Starshine and your dejection, too. Yeah, your writing hits all the right notes.
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Chemistry
I know I’m a little late with the response, but I do agree that the writing is beautiful and I feel like I can completely relate.
I miss when he used to talk to me because he wanted to; because he said he his day wasn’t complete without having at least one legit conversation with me. Now, it’s kind of like he just talks to me because he needs someone; he just feels lonely. Blaaah.
I think ShastaKey is absolutely right. You DO deserve better. Nobody deserves to be in such pain. But you will eventually become strong enough to realize that there is better out there for you, or the idiot boy will realize that he should treat you better.
I hope it’s the latter. Keep us updated ♥
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adamv2.0
I’ve finally had it
Here’s what I don’t get. YOU introduced me to this girl. And now because you both have some huge falling out, everyone that knows her is under suspicion and their loyalty is in question? I’ve been a loyal friend to you since the beginning, and yet I’ve been on the chopping block more than once […]
Continue reading I’ve finally had it -
noname
So I have this problem, a kind of normal problem I guess. I’m still in love with my ex boyfriend. We started dating August 20th and we were on and off for 9 months. I never gave him head, but I let him take my virginity. After he took my virginity he decided head was more important […]
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Dan-Yella
I’m in a slightly similar situation.
Except, we broke up after 9 months for fighting over the most irrelevant things that just weren’t important. The thing is, we still remain friends in the hopes of working things out.
That’s when it gets sticky. He doesn’t know what he wants it seems, because one minute he can be cold and distant and then the next, we’ll hug eachother, and everything feels just right.
Its so much easier to just fall into a pattern, rather than moving on. And although you have moved on it doesn’t seem like you’re over your ex. Maybe if you had some single, alone time, you might be able to clear your thoughts.
All the best.
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padyirishman
hiya wana chat
padyirishmanatyahoodotcodotuk
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AsKnownAs. 9:03 am on July 1, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
The best advice I can give to you is that it’ll happen when it’s supposed to.
Don’t wait around for it to come to you, it feels like forever when you do that. Find something to distract your mind because you never know, you might actually meet someone special via an extra curricular activity.
I can also assure you of one thing. When you do meet that person, whether they’re right or wrong, permanent or temporary, if they make you happy in the here and now, it’ll suddenly make sense why it took so long for you to meet them. There’s this euphoric sense of how it all flows and fuses together in some kind of poetic path and you’ll be grateful for it happening when it happens.
Just be patient. Everything happens for a reason : )
quiteabitch 2:15 pm on July 1, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I second what AsKnownAs wrote, I really couldn’t have said it better myself.
I wanna add too the following: She might be leading you on, but I think that you should take the risk to try to date her, I mean, if you don’t take risks it will be very hard to find someone…Especially if you are a guy.
And second, you are not alone. I’ve felt the same way myself and many, many people I’ve known have had the same trouble. It’s okay. And well yeah, try new stuff and don’t be afraid. It will be over eventually =) We are here to support you.