I am scared. Very scared that if i was to get married and have children, I would feel resentment. That my feelings would lead to acrimony, pain and heartbreak. Not just for me, but A. and any children that we may have. I have to write this down. This catharsis is necessary to allow me to […]
Continue reading I am scared Very scared that if i…
I’m in love with the most beautiful woman on the planet. Her voice is pure joy, like starlight, and her eyes are the colour of the sun through leaves. And she isn’t in love with me. She’s in love with someone else. She’s stated, categorically, that she will “never be in love” with me. Which […]
Continue reading I’m in love with the most beautiful wom…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiGtN-dplYk Idk if this song could help, but I t really helped me once. I could relate my feelings a lot
Day 1 of recovery, and my heart still feels like it’s shattered. I still have a bit of me that thinks we’ll still end up together. I hate that part of me; I need to totally let go. It’s time to do some clean up before I get any ideas.
Continue reading Day 1 of recovery, and my heart still fe…
i think it will get better. and don’t feel guilty when you start getting over them.
My heart is broken. But its not because of you. I would never give you that much credit. I broke my own heart isnt that what you would say? It was all my fault everything is all my fault. I could be hit by a car in a crosswalk and it would be my fault. […]
Continue reading My heart is broken. But its not because …
good
I’m (a woman) completely in love with a woman who’s also in love with me…she’s married… we tried to make it work, with the three of us, but too many human complexities…(The sex was fucking amazing I will say). Now, I still live with them, and yurn for her everyday. I miss her. It kills […]
Continue reading missing her
Step number one…move out
Sounds like you might both be feeling the same way…. Who is society to deny you what you need ?
It might not work out, it might cause suffering to others but as long as you’re doing it for all the right reasons then jump in, take the plunge!
Can’t move out.
We DO feel the same way. We have. Too many complex emotions with her husband. They both devoloped jealousy issues. She called off the relationship because of this, not because we stopped loving, wanting or needing each other. It kills me. All I want is her back. Even a drunken encounter… I wish she’d give in. We have so much chemestry, we flirt, occasionally grab a butt or boob, I just wish it would go further again. I’ve never needed anything so bad.
I’m sorry for cluttering this place up with my confessions. I just need to do something and this seems to be all I can do. We broke up yesterday morning. I didn’t think I could feel more pain than I did yesterday. Now I know I was wrong. Everyone tells me it will get better, and […]
Continue reading I’m sorry for cluttering this place up …
Algoogla,
I wrote this really long comment to you. But guess what? It didn’t come through, thanks to Windows Explorer.
Needless to say, I know exactly how you feel and your confessions have spoken to me wholly.
If you would like to speak with me about it, I’m here. Just let me know and we can email eachother or discuss it right here.
Daniela
Daniela,
Thanks for the reply. It means a lot to me. Right now knowing other people understand what I’m feeling seems to be the only thing that helps at all. (Not that I would wish this on anyone. But at least I don’t feel completely alone in it.) If you want to exchange e-mails that would be great; my e-mail is agsefant@gmail.com. I have to go to work soon, so I might not be able to reply until tonight, but it would be nice to talk.
Thanks again.
It sounds like you loved a person and then had your trust betrayed by them. It is, in my opinion, the most painful of all experiences. You will never know why it ended or if you even did anything wrong. It will haunt you for quite some time.
The only thing that you can ever do about it is to break contact COMPLETELY and put it in the back of your mind and ignore it. DO NOT CONTACT HIM/HER.
Think of the pain as toughening you up. For some people it may last a couple of days, for others, a lifetime. It’s been over a year for me since I broke up. I get up every day being more angry and depressed than the last.
But it has taught me one thing, to not trust people. You can be sure that anybody who can cut through that pain to bring that joy, peacefulness, and happiness back into your life will be much more trustworthy than that last scumbag.
When that will happen, is a matter of luck and fate.
I have to agree with LovesBacon (for I too love bacon). The easiest way to heal is to cut the person who has hurt you out of your life. Hanging on is agonizing, and it helps you not one bit. We are all here for you if you need it. A lot of us are going through the same thing right now, myself included.
There are bumps in life, too many bumps. This may not be the end or maybe it is. People break up and get back together some of the time. I don’t know your situation but I do hope that eventually things will fall into place for you. I hope you find something or maybe even someone to help you get your mind off this.
Can you really love again after your first love hurts you so much? And should you even want to?
Continue reading Can you really love again after your fir…
I want to. But I’m afraid I never will. A year and a half has passed, and I still love him so so much 
Eventually! But it takes a lot of time. Sometimes I still struggle. He wasn’t my first boyfriend, but I think he was my first real love and it’s been a couple of years. I still miss him sometimes. I think everyone has trouble. So you’re not alone, and you’ll get through it. It’s all part of growing up, I guess. And always remember, anyone who hurts you like that does not deserve you.
First love hurts the worst, because you are naive to relationships at that point… Everyone is… Let’s hope that in the future we can have that someone who is even better next to us.
How could you say I’m too sensitive? All I asked for is basic consideration. And you couldn’t even give me that. So we’re over, and it hurts me, it hurts me like hell. I feel lonely, and I cry knowing we’ll never see each other, never even talk, again. I wish I could know you […]
Continue reading How could you say I’m too sensitive? Al…
algoogla,
I know the hurt you have been feeling. I know 100%.
I believe you are new to GroupHug Live? If so, you probably haven’t heard my story. I’m not going to repeat it. In short, I was in a similar situation to you; we dated for quite some months and it ended because we fought so so so much. Because I was so sensitive. Hypersensitive, you might say. And him? He was cold.
I know the feeling of knowing it will never happening again, and I also know the feeling of being led to believe that it could, in the future. I’ve been tormented without him even knowing he was doing it. He hurt me so so so so so so much. I couldn’t hate him for breaking up with me because he had a point, and the way he treated me, I forgave him too.
He’s already moved on, too. With another girl.
What was more, he never felt the pain I felt when he dumped me. And frankly, he didn’t care.
We agreed to be friends but he still, on occasion, sends mixed messages, and only now have I realised that I am much better off with him not being my friend for now. Him being around me killed me. Him being online on MSN killed me, so I finally had the courage to block him. I have never felt so relieved.
I promise you the pain goes away. If I were speaking with him, I’d be stuck in a rut, knowing how much I still miss him. I now know that the only way that feeling will go away, is if I move on. Moving on requires distance and it requires cutting ties. For people like me anyway, the sensitive kind. I still think about him everyday, I still think about what we had, and that a year ago today we were together hugging and kissing and falling for one another. The thought never even crossed my mind that quite possibly one year later I’d be sitting here, writing advice from my own personal break-up to you, a complete stranger.
I know that I am speaking about my self, but I am using my own experience as an example to you, to show you that the hurt won’t go away for a while. We broke up toward the end of September, and I am still hurt and a little shocked at how all of this happened.
But I want to you to know that it will get better, and to answer your confession above, you can love again. He was my first love, too. He meant the world to me, and the thought of dating someone else scared the living daylights out of me. But it is possible. I am currently afraid of being hurt and I am concerned about all the drama and pain relationships carry, but in time, when I do meet someone else, and when you meet someone else, it will be okay, and although you won’t ever forget your first, you will definitely be able to love again. You deserve happiness and you deserve love, and to be loved in return. It will happen, just don’t wait around for it.
We’ll be okay.
Your confession spoke to me. Wholly.
I want to help you, so if you want to talk to me about anything at all, I’m here for you.
Daniela
(By the way, a way of forgetting about him/her, is by focusing on little projects, focus on reading, studying, socialising, rekindling lost friendships, being surrounded by people, and I find too, creative writing helps.)
Wishing that I could hug and kiss you and have you make everything better… But your the reason why its not good right now… Cause you think its not working anymore… and I agree… which sucks!!
Continue reading Loving You Still
I want to write a song, not an emo song, a simple indie song, similar to the Strokes’ music, about this.: Last night was awkward. Your Dad, I seemed quite feared of, your Mum, it was awkward. You…..Well it’s you. Typical, lovely, funny, imperfectly perfect you. I love you. I wish you loved me. This is […]
Continue reading I want to write a song, not an emo song,…
deep down i kno my family is a well of infinite love and support whenever i need them. its a gift that a lot of ppl would kill to have. we have our issuse like every other family. but why do i feel like i want to rid myself of them? why do i feel […]
Continue reading deep down i kno my family is a well of i…
So I have this problem, a kind of normal problem I guess. I’m still in love with my ex boyfriend. We started dating August 20th and we were on and off for 9 months. I never gave him head, but I let him take my virginity. After he took my virginity he decided head was more important […]
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I’m in a slightly similar situation.
Except, we broke up after 9 months for fighting over the most irrelevant things that just weren’t important. The thing is, we still remain friends in the hopes of working things out.
That’s when it gets sticky. He doesn’t know what he wants it seems, because one minute he can be cold and distant and then the next, we’ll hug eachother, and everything feels just right.
Its so much easier to just fall into a pattern, rather than moving on. And although you have moved on it doesn’t seem like you’re over your ex. Maybe if you had some single, alone time, you might be able to clear your thoughts.
All the best.
hiya wana chat
padyirishmanatyahoodotcodotuk
I met someone and fell in love with him, but now we live in different countries and since we were apart, we grew apart. He ended this a few days ago and since then I felt empty, sad, sorrowful and numb. I just wish I was with him, wish I hadn’t invested so much in […]
Continue reading I met someone and fell in love with him,… That’s it. It’s over. After one hell of a year and two months, you finally left me. I can’t really believe it. I don’t want to. I’m such a fucking idiot for the things i’ve done. I’m such a self centred dick for the things i’ve thought. I’m such a insensitive cunt for the things […]
Continue reading You left me. I love you.
I can’t really say anything but, “I’m sorry”. I hope things get better.:)
*hug
“I memorise every word you say and I hold it closer to my heart than my lungs”-
“although there are more fish in the sea. I’ll never find quite a rare beauty like you”
Man that’s beautiful! I sure hope you get your second chance- otherwise she’s the loser!
You’re 15! Hell, as a romantic by the time you’re 18 you’ll be unstoppable!
and your PS hits the nail right square on the head.
good luck brother
I think you are wrong in your PS. I don’t think they manage it at all, they are probably shut off to emotions because emotions can be scary and uncontollable sometimes.
I know how you feel. I am only 18, I was with someone from when i was 16 until a couple of months ago. Age makes no difference, don’t let anyone tell you that it does. I love him with all my heart. We never fought, until the last couple of months. Because I was so afraid that it was to good to be true, I was insecure and defensive. He left and said he was unhappy, later I found out that wasnt the reason. But my point is.. If you know you love this person with all of your heart and every drop of your soul, if you love them more than anyone in the universe, then don’t give up. If the love is as true as it sounds, she will realize that you’re wonderful. Some people are just meant to be together, no matter how many times they try to tear themselves apart. I’m still waiting. It hurts, but I know some how some way I’ll get another chance. I hope you do too. I’ll pray for you, whether you believe in God or not, that you find your happiness again. To be happy and in love is unequaled by every other emotion combined. Its bliss, and everyone deserves it. Good luck.
kiwi, I hope you are wrong, but y’know what, i think you’re right.
I’ve tried for a second chance, i mean i’ve really tried. I’ve begged, and begged, to the point just before she starts to think i’m going to become an obsessed psycho killer ex-boyfriend. She won’t. It’s okay though. I don’t deserve one. I treated her like shit, so i shouldn’t have another. She doesn’t love me, so it’s okay that i won’t. She never has. So it’s good. She can find someone she does love now, who won’t treat her like he’s paid for her. Who she can spend time with, share love and laughter with, hug, kiss, and argue with. I just wish that person was me.
heavymetalcows22, I do love her more than anything in the universe, but that’s why i am giving up. Letting a bird out of a cage to be free kind of thing. I feel for you though, cause it seems as if we’re in a similar situation, the difference lies in that I know she is better off without me. By the sounds of things, you two are perfect for each other, and you’re perfectly right. Keep going, keep trying.
But me, i deserve not to be prayed for. I deserve not to be felt for, and with L, i don’t deserve unequaled happiness. Unfortunately, i wouldn’t have it with anyone else.
Oh, and joei, There is no winner in love. It is not a game as much as it may seem like it. It’s the most serious thing in the world. People have killed for it, people have died for it. People still do. Although there is no winner although it is no game, there will always be a loser, and on this occasion, it is me, not her. And now i seem like a patronizing idiot, talking to someone older than him like he has no idea on what love is. I should shut up. My apologies.
Better move on .
Well…I figure it’s best to admit my problems in their purest form. A bit more than a year ago, I started a relationship with a girl after breaking free from a relationship that wasn’t working. I was in love with the girl, but the relationship was apparently pretty open. As she went to go date a […]
Continue reading Well…I figure it’s best to admit my p…
To me it seems both sides were at fault.
However, the majority of the blame does go on your ex.
Dating other guys without considering your feelings, even though you got upset about it.
Getting angry and unforgiving after you had sex with another woman.
These are very strong signs of a woman whom doesn’t have the slightest clue what she is doing. It is because of this hypocritical behaviour and attitude that you both evolved into a state of love and hate wrestling with each other for the dominating position.
From the looks of things, she is not aware of her own mistakes and is extremely self-serving.
If I were to give my honest opinion, I would tell you that you are much better off without her.
Such women are a complete waste of time as they have no real appreciation of how much they hurt others while they solely pay attention to their own hurt feelings.
Obviously being apart from her is extremely painful for you, but I suggest you think more rationally about what has happened.
The strong emotions you currently feel will easily make you blame yourself for everything that has happened, making you think you were completely at fault and driving you into a hellish cycle of depression.
I suggest you snap out of this cycle. Remove yourself from your current world, travel somewhere for a few weeks and keep your mind busy to avoid thinking about her.
The more you think about her, the harder it will be for you to let go.
If you continue on this self-destructive path, there is no telling what you might reduce yourself to.
Always keep in mind that you are a human being with pride. If you don’t have self-respect, attain it.
Grow from this debacle; do not let anything and anyone’s stupidity and selfish perspective on everthing.
It is not worth it and you yourself are worth so much more.
Simply because you have such strong and earnest feelings, you are a rarity in today’s world.
Be happy about this fact. Better yourself and learn to absorb the pain, because life still goes on, even after your heart was broken.
It may all seem hopeless to you, but it isn’t.
If you wish to talk, I am at your disposal.
Cheers
Remixer
i agree with remixer.
but i feel like you did nothing wrong here, and this chick that you were seeing sounds like a bitch who was just using you. i know easier said then done, but you need to let go of someone who treated you so terribly. thats bull, the way she treated you.
What drove me nuts was the overall condescension she would give me from time to time after it all broke down and she found someone new.
She once sent me a note concerning some blogs I had posted saying: “Starting this letter isn’t the easiest thing in the world. But I hope you’ll hear me out. Because I think you should know. I recently read your journals. I always do. Because I care about where you are and how you’re doing.
I don’t hate you. I never did and I never will. You helped me through so much and made me a stronger person, for that I’m thankful. And I think it’s time I put your fears of me hating you to rest. Or having any ill wish towards you at all.
Whether you are willing to accept and listen, which I hope you do, you will always hold a place in my heart. I haven’t forgotten about you. How could I. You meant the world to me once. My feelings of wanting the best for you haven’t gone away. I think nothing terrible of you. Not even when I left.
Things will never be as they were, that’s true. But it doesn’t mean I don’t still think about you every once in a while- hoping that you’re doing well. I do, contrary to conscience thought.
Yes, I did move on but as difficult as it was for you, it was also for me. It was not easy to leave, hence why I stopped all talk entirely. I couldn’t handle it. I felt as though we weren’t growing any more, being the best people we could and so I felt I needed to go. And I’m sorry it hurt you. That was possibly the hardest thing I’ve had to do.
But please, if anything you take from this note, know that you were a significant part of my life and have helped me become a better person, one that I can be proud of. I can only hope I have done the same for you. And know, I still check on you to see how you’re doing. The news of the new band is wonderful and I’m ecstatic for you as well as the new friends you have made.
Again, I don’t hate you. I never did. Know you will always hold a place in my heart.
I only hope the best and happiness for you (name).
That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.
Happy new year,
hope it brings you everything you want.
With all my love,
(name)”
——————-
It drove me nuts how someone could say they didn’t love me anymore “with all of their love”.
It just felt like a cop-out…like she wrote it to shut me down and make any possible reply from me seem desperate to either hurt her or make her come back to me.
Like she wanted to come out as the bigger person…I felt, and still feel, insulted.
yeah, its cruel… and i feel sorry for my ex, because i say i care without wanting to be with him. but really how else can you describe a feeling of a good memory with a not so happy ending? you guys at one time had a great connection but like everything amazing, it didn’t last long.
it sounds like a big cause and effect relationship. she wasn’t sure about you when you two first started dating so saw other guys, hurt you. so in response you found comfort with another women. as an effect she was hurt and felt it was owed to her to be allowed to see other people. a vicious cycle which from the very start was rough but then it caught some momentum and got out of control. both of you lost trust in the other and what relationship can be built from there?
would probably benefit you to ignore her and find someone else or something else for a time to occupy yourself. that love is not one of a kind. in fact there’s better choices, where a woman will love you without doubting her feelings towards you and you to her leaving out any trust issues that evolved from the one you described. now to say all you have to do is ignore her is ideal in theory but in practice is near impossible to pull off. not hearing about the guys shes going around with will be better for you but curiosity is quite devilish.
but really, distraction is probably the best medicine when getting over someone.
I agree.
Distraction will be probably be the best course of action for you.
Remixer
I’ll try…Reta is right though, curiosity is devilish. Its like telling yourself not to look down…you end up looking anyway.
Doesn’t help that she recently said Hi and came to “See how I was doing” on my webpage. Unfortunately, I can’t delete it, but I may hide it.
Should I ignore the comment?
Or should I just say “hello”?
quiteabitch 8:00 pm on June 9, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Ok. So, I don’t know if this will work or if I have any say at this, but as I read your confession only one person appeared in my head.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zmBgEwFcWM&feature=related
“My faggot father must have had his pantie’s up in a bunch, cause he split, I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye(…) I look at Hailie and I couldn’t picture leavin’ her side, even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I’d try, to make it work with her at least for Hailie’s sake, I maybe made some mistakes but i’m only human, but i’m man enough to face them today…”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYlp5EjU7uo&feature=related
What I mean is, a relationship with another person who isn’t your real family (like your wife) may end in the worst conditions; but it seems to be different when you have a child who, according to some people are the thing that a parent loves the most in its life. Don’t let whatever parent who hurt you when you were a kid hurt you even more by leaving a memory that forbids you to be happy. I know that it’s a lot easier said than done, but I believe that you should at least consider and trying to have a family.
quiteabitch 2:42 pm on June 10, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zmBgEwFcWM
“My faggot father must have had his pantie’s up in a bunch, cause he split, I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye(…)I look at Hailie and I couldn’t picture leavin’ her side, even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I’d try, to make it work with her at least for Hailie’s sake, I maybe made some mistakes but i’m only human, but i’m man enough to face them today”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZUZ7Q7x61w&feature=related
You can’t let your past infect your future with hate. Maybe all the pain you felt is just another reason to love your child no matter what and make sure they don’t repeat your story. Don’t let them hurt you and forbid happiness for you more than they already have.