I’m an addict. Not on drugs nor alcohol nor on any of the things you might be remembering, but still, I’m addicted on something that is destroying me as efficiently as any of those things would. Perhaps even more, since nobody can see or even imagine what it’s happening to me and I’m too much of […]
Continue reading I’m an addict Not on drugs nor alcohol…
Things are getting good, hope I don’t fuck up!
Continue reading Things are getting good hope I don’t fuck… It’s amazing how all the answers you need come to you while you drink and cook with beer. I was wondering if I should move back to the town I grew up, I decided against it as there is less likley I would get the help I need and I would be driven nuts by […]
Continue reading It’s amazing how all the answers you need…
when people say “be yourself”, they really mean “choose wisely what you imitate and don’t let it show too much.”
Continue reading when people say “be yourself”, they re… when people say “be yourself”, they really mean “choose wisely what you imitate and don’t let it show too much.”
Continue reading when people say “be yourself”, they re…
I don’t want a high-paying job. I don’t want a fancy car or a big house or a big bank account. I’ve never wanted any of that. None of it makes any sense to me. I want a simple apartment, a roommate I love (a friend, or maybe a significant other), and a job that […]
Continue reading I don’t want a high-paying job. I don’…
I can totally relate
I wish I was like you, and that there were more people like you. Maybe humanity wouldnt be so mysrable if so.
I hate people who complain. Get the fuck over it and keep on truckin’. Life will not wait on you. Why should you linger trying to fix or figure out things that have passed? There is absolutely no reason!
Continue reading I hate people who complain. Get the fuck…
Maybe some things take some time and effort to let go and some things are even worth holding onto and fighting for
i thought about confessing what i’m feeling right now, but i rather just know this - what makes you get up every morning? what helps you deal with loss, whether it be of love or of life? what makes you turn away from giving up? i need an answer and i don’t know who to […]
Continue reading i thought about confessing what i’m fee…
It varies. What makes me get up, is I can’t stay in bed. No matter how much I may want to.
I’ve never had much loss to deal with, but I generally don’t deal with it well. I dig at the problem, try and find out as much as I can. It rarely works.
And what keeps me from giving up is my friends. I don’t have much faith in family any more. So I put my faith in the people I choose to care about, and in the fact that the world keeps going. That as long as you keep going with it, there’s a chance things get better. And sometimes I let myself give up for a bit, just to remind myself what it’s like. To remind myself why I don’t want to do it.
I’m finally starting to take responsibility for my life and how bad I’ve fucked it up so far. Fixing it all will take some time, but for once, I’m cautiously optimistic.
Continue reading I’m finally starting to take responsibi…
I like this =) Good luck
Thanks, Quite. BTW, Where are you off to for a year?
Either Canada or New Zeland =)
Nice. My dream is either Ireland or Iceland.
Lol. My life dreams are either England or USA, but Canada and New Zeland are the countries where the best exchange programs for students like me are lol =)
It’s been over a year now since my old life ended. My kid sister had a mental breakdown of some kind, I was falsely accused of being a child molester, and I lost my home, and all of my friends and family. The little girl I adored more than anyone else, who I would do anything […]
Continue reading It’s been over a year now since my old …
I loved you when I first read this,
and I love you more now.
You are such a strong person.
I think your life can only get better from here.
I wish you all the best.
<3
Thank you. That actually means a lot to me.
I’m glad. You seem like you’ve had a lot thrown your way, and I’m glad to’ve said something that means something to you. You are genuinely a beautiful person to me, and if I knew you in real life, I’d give you a hug and kiss you on the cheek and tell you just how courageous you are and how beautiful your heart is.
I can’t imagine what that must have been like. You seem to be a very strong person though I’m sure it was never easy for you. I admire you. I hope you have better luck in the future.
It’s annoying how I’m usually more outgoing in my writing than when I get on IM, write emails and messages. In person I’m more quiet and reserved. I’ve been told by the people closest to me that I should try drinking at least once so I can ‘let loose’ and see how outgoing in person […]
Continue reading It’s annoying how I’m usually more out…
Just don’t do it at a party your first time. Get a few of your closest friends, a night where there’s no parents at the house, stick to 1 type of beverage, and take it slow and have fun.
Yeah that’s what they have told me, not to drink at a party for the first time. I have had countless occasions where I can drink with them at small intimate ‘parties’ one of my close cousins sometimes throws. But there’s always the parents… they hardly ever go out. So it’s pretty much the waiting game with them. I just hope I don’t crack and drink when they’re in town and I get to go home drunk, as to what I expect.
At parties, I’ll sometimes do drink if there’s alcohol. Well, more often than not and when I do, it’s never more than one bottle or shot. I guess alcohol doesn’t really do it for me and I personally don’t think I need a drink to enjoy myself. Many of my friends drink just for the sake of drinking and some of the time, we end up having to park on the side of the road for someone to cry and vomit. Totally great way to end a night (and start the next morning).
Anyway, without being all teacher-y, the point of my post is this: Don’t drink for the sake of drinking or purely just to “let loose”, you know, in case you end up drinking more than you want and all. Also, please drink only when YOU feel comfortable to and be assertive enough to know when to stop. But of course, as you’ll probably be drinking with those you trust, perhaps it’ll be OK to “let loose” a bit.
It’s been 6 months since I first posted here. It’s been a hell of a year, but life has stabilized. But I’ve got a new problem. It dawned on me that I’ll be all alone on my birthday this year. I’ve got no friends and my family mostly doesn’t want anything to do with me. I […]
Continue reading It’s been 6 months since I first posted…
Happy birthday! And I think you should go up and give your sister a hug why not?
Happy birthday. Though I don;t know you personally, I am giving you a hug!!!!
I feel so horrible today. I just want to delete myself from the world. I don’t make it a better place, not like I wanted. Or maybe if I could just be invisible. I screwed up at work. I didn’t mean to, I just did. There was no help for it, it seems, like it […]
Continue reading Want to highlight myself and press DELETE.
Look at your self. For all you know, you may have saved someones life one day.
One day… Everything turns brighter.
T.a.T.u - All the things she said. I love the song, but. There’s something about it that reminds me of my past, I want to forget it. So many songs, help me through things. Even make things worse at times. Music is Life. - Shannon
Continue reading T.a.T.u – All the things she said. I lov…
Scarey, i had a best friend called Shannon, and that song would relate to our past. She was mad on her music, we both were, it was the only thing that got us through the day. But saddly, just like all other friends i’ve had, she turned her back on me. I miss her loads, not that she would know.
Don’t forget the past, because what happened then, made you who you are today.
If the past was unkind, use that as something to focus on, to help you with goals.
Oh, thank you for replying. I wasn’t sure if people would.
And the thing is, I’m not sure if I like the person I am today. I feel out of place, everywhere.
- Shannon
Feeling out of place may well be the fault of the “places”…
Nice post; it was a nice read. I noticed before that you liked a post I put up earlier. When you’ve got a moment, would you mind telling me why?
Well that’s kind of hard to explain.
I just did…
(:
I’ve been in a lousy mood this weekend. Nothing really matters when you think about it, does it? Odds are that none of us will make a real difference in the world. I can’t tell who the lucky ones are: the ones who live to be 100, or the ones who die before this type […]
Continue reading I’ve been in a lousy mood this weekend….
Of all the things I am afraid of, I am most afraid of failing.
I was raised as an achiever; my parents pushed me to be the best - there were no doors that would not open for me, were I to pull them.
They instilled in me a constant need to best myself until in an inertial manner I have surpassed all others in whatever mattered to me most.
I thought, as a child, that this would be enough. Yet, as I grew up, I discovered that there were always others considerably better than myself at what I did; I found out that not all doors are open, and that not all people will like me for striving to make constant progress.
Society has abandoned me, and I have gradually abandoned it in response.
“I don’t need them!”, I said to myself. “They’re just fools!”, I exclaimed.
I decided that all my creations; all my endeavors would be oriented towards impressing intellectuals, regardless of their chosen areas of interest.
I had an egotistical wish to spark within one’s mind the bright shimmer of inspiration that had been cast in mine by many others; to leave behind something grand enough that I would stand out, even in this age of animosity.
But then, the problem. I cannot impress neither society, nor its intellectuals; and worst of all, I cannot impress even myself.
I’ve spent countless hours perfecting my works, I’ve many times lost sleep. I thought, as I was making them, that I would finally create a masterpiece; alas, I created only works which were below average.
I wrote many words; but none as elegant as that of any writer that I’ve read.
I’ve played many songs on my guitar beloved: And yet those songs were heard with pleasure but by me and it; and sometimes, I suppose it sighs and weeps that its owner will never use it to its full potential.
I have painted, I have drawn; what was in the mind and heart as powerful as tidal waves came out depicted as lowly, empty gusts of wind.
I have entered many contests - none of which I’ve ever won.
And then, the more I looked around me, the more I realized the truth about myself.
I am not the best. I am not the wisest. I am not unique. I am not creative.
I have no one, and even my own self is turned against me.
Good readers, I confess - I am a failure as a man.
I have lost all moral values, and there is nothing I believe in any more.
I am fit to be nothing more than an observer. Perhaps that is to be my fate; but in my name, there will be no stories written; and I shall not likely write any myself.
Then, I am fit to be nothing more than nothingness itself.
Funny thing, familiarity: I shall keep moving on, as I have never stopped.
your confession really moved me, i know nothing about you.. but if you can write this you certainly are something…
now, maybe its just me, but i feel as though you have a gift. of course everyone does.
You are unique, for you are you and nobody else can be.
Nothing means something, therefore if you say to yourself you are nothing, you are ALWAYS something. (‘:
my little words of wisdom there.
- Shannon,x
i spent a few hours on sat night talking to you. well if its not you, then its someone who has the exact same issues as you. and that is just so ironic. i haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.
the whole time you were sitting there telling me how much of a failure you are i felt like giving you a huge hug and talking you through that nonsense, to the other side, where you can see that there’s no such thing as a “perfect” person/existance. that you can be destined for great things and acheive great things and affect and inspire people without you even knowing it.
anyway, you’re probably not the same guy i spoke to on sat night, but, by the sounds you have the same feelings of inadequacy. and they’re probably 100% unfounded.
JUST LET YOURSELF BE. just be. forget about the ways in which you feel you don’t measure up… true success is letting all of that go.
And M___o if that is you, chin up buddy, you’re awesome and I can’t believe you don’t know it.
Fortunate, he who has such friends.
People are never perfect; yet, at times, they achieve certain things, worthy of boasting about.
I’ve not boasted in a while.
so you can only acheive self-validation if you boast to/get praise from people??
there’s your problem. you need to please yourself and no one else. yeah recognition would be nice from time to time, but so long as you’re making yourself happy, that’s all that really matters. the sooner you realise this and believe it, the more organic and inspired your work will become.
From what I can see , you wish to be brilliant at everything ,witch is just some thing that is impossible.
find your true passion , sick with it , and you will become the best you can be.
Today I couldn’t answer the test at the psychologist’s. All my schoolmates answered half of the test. The point is I don’t like anything. There is no more passion, no more life, no more colourful dreams running through my veins. I’m nothing but a huge heap of dust.
Continue reading Today I couldn’t answer the test at the…
Anhedonia….
Why do you think you are devoid of feeling? Has it always been that way?
I don’t know…
I don’t know what to do anymore…
Continue reading I don’t know what to do anymore…
Neither do i.
At least you’re not alone. 
Me neither. High five guys!
I haven’t seen you in years. You live in a different state. I just talked with you on Facebook. I’m in love with you. You’re one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. You’re caring, understanding, and don’t hang onto the bad things too much. I wish I could be with you. The worst part […]
Continue reading I haven’t seen you in years. You live i…
i understand how you feel. I met someone a few years ago, he lives in a different state and joined the marines. I just finished skyping with the guy I’m in love with who might be getting deployed soon.
I wish you the best and try to think positively! Merry Christmas
Really? That’s really sad. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who feels this way. I hope all goes well with your man! Thank you, and hope you had a merry Christmas as well!
hi, how are you 1:27 am on September 7, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
No one is here to judge you. Tou can tell what it is. It would be good for you