i thought about confessing what i’m feeling right now, but i rather just know this - what makes you get up every morning? what helps you deal with loss, whether it be of love or of life? what makes you turn away from giving up? i need an answer and i don’t know who to […]
Continue reading i thought about confessing what i’m fee…Tagged: regret RSS Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
-
rivergirl
-
spicywings
After being laid off at the start of the recession, I used the opportunity to pursue my dream career. Two years later-ish, four semesters of school, a student loan that makes me uncomfortable, and countless applications to different places inside the industry. I never felt like a failure until I saw a classifieds ad for […]
Continue reading After being laid off at the start of the…-
pd0815
at least you can say you followed your dream. good luck with the job.
-
anonym00se
That isn’t a very responsible way to go about it.
Unless you’re single without kids, you need to hang onto your job while pursuing your entrepreneurial adventures. They almost always fail.
-
-
itsme1
This is getting bad
I have tried being happy lately. I really do hate being down and I am normally an upbeat person. I am usually telling my wife to be more positive…The truth is, I hate my life. I feel like the last 14 years have been a waste. I messed up and put myself in a situation […]
Continue reading This is getting bad-
GraingerGuy
You’re seriously $100K in debt? Credit card debt? Time for bankruptcy my friend. It’ll get the creditors to stop calling and will give you a plan and peace of mind. Call an attorney. That’s one way to start.
-
Y ask Y
Hey man. It’s never too late. There’s a saying that you have to eat an Elephant in small bites. Right now I’m sure it looks insurmountable, but even the smallest step towards change might create an Avanlanche towards something greater.
There’s truth in your post, and certainty. The certainty is that if you don’t make a change of some kind, you’re right, your life is guaranteed to be ass until the grave. Hope will come from change, man. It won’t just fall out of the sky. And that’s frightening and it’s shit and it sucks, but that’s how it is.
I don’t know about the debt. But I do know about no having much money to go around. The money has nothing to do with your ability to interact with your kids. Being a great dad is free. It’s just a matter or perspective, and if you don’t have money, ingenuity. You can do it.
-
bobburgster
file for bankruptcy
-
-
lily-rose
Where do I start? I’ll start with how l…
Where do I start? I’ll start with how lazy, stupid and careless I have been. I’m in Year 12 now. Last year of school but I’m out in the big wide world. I want to get a high result…I need to. I need to reach a certain mark, and everyone thinks I can do it. That […]
Continue reading Where do I start? I’ll start with how l…-
Cavalary
I’ll say that you are one of the smartest in the grade, being able to get away like that. I should know, did the same, but then I dropped out in 10th grade.
And of course you’re right, this is exactly why you’re not motivated. And you’re also right in your assessment of school, at least the way it is now (and likely the way formal education has always been). The problem being that it’s not going to change as long as people keep accepting that they need to go through it as it is in order to do anything.
So you say you want to write. How’s that going? What are you writing? How good do you think it is? I’ll say that’s what should matter… -
Heather
I just finished year 12 and I have to agree with how sucky the school system is. So many subjects I’m never going to use in real life.
Just remember that if you don’t get into the course you want to at the end of the year there’s always another pathway in. A lot of TAFEs have courses that feed into second year University and Universities that are in more rural areas require a lower score to get in but teach identical courses to universities in the city.
-
-
Canyoureadmymind
My heart is broken. But its not because of you. I would never give you that much credit. I broke my own heart isnt that what you would say? It was all my fault everything is all my fault. I could be hit by a car in a crosswalk and it would be my fault. […]
Continue reading My heart is broken. But its not because …-
codedarmes
good
-
-
QuiteStupidPerson
I am having lunch tomorrow with my ex-fiancee that I walked out on 18 years ago. I haven’t seen her in all that time, not even a picture, and I still have no idea what she looks like now. I really hope my wife doesn’t find out about it, but then again, I really hope […]
Continue reading I am having lunch tomorrow with my ex-fi…-
unsureNlost
Do you care to share why u walked away from her? I’m curious
-
QuiteStupidPerson
Because I was a damned idiot, and thought I found someone that ‘suited me better’. I have regretted it for 18 years, and we had a fantastic time at lunch.
-
unsureNlost
Oh I’m sorry. That’s great you had a good time. I wonder his she felt when she saw you…and I’m curious to know if wifey is gonna find out. Hope not. Do you think that something could come of this lunch date?
-
QuiteStupidPerson
We were both in tears when we saw each other and had a great 3 hours together. I actually thought about telling my wife about it, but not doing it yet. As far as something coming out of it, it already has. We’ve at least renewed a lost friendship. But, I could easily tell we both wanted to renew more than that.
-
-
-
-
broken
yea what exactly happened at lunch this sounds so scandalous i love it its like a fairy tale waiting to happen you realize this right?
-
QuiteStupidPerson
Nothing happened at lunch other than a conversation. We spent the entire time catching up, laughing and crying. When I dropped her off was when things got a bit sticky. We hugged, had a small kiss, then both kinda had that moment where we had to fight what we were feeling.
-
-
-
scp
my current boyfriend is telling me nonstop how much he loves me, how beautiful i am and basically that he thinks i’m perfect and his soulmate. it makes me feel terrible. he’s the kind of guy that has long, meaningful relationships. my longest relationship was two and a half weeks. i never told him this. […]
Continue reading my current boyfriend is telling me nonst…-
to_be_real
make up your mind fast. if you really think you this guys is taking your relationship seriously and you’re not, then better break up with him as soon as possible rather than taking so long and end up breaking up with him anyway which will cause him more pain. better be honest and real now than later. you never regret being real to yourself. but, if you really, really, really like/love this guy (meaning, like you’re really into him) then good for you.
-
Remixer
You are right. You don’t deserve him.
I would suggest you wait until mid-January after all the festivities are done and dealt with.
Remixer
-
technikolordream
im not gona go into whether or not you deserve him or visa versa, because i dont KNOW either of you. but if youre not sure whether or not you love him, then il tell you: you don’t. and its not fair to drag it out, because its not going to make it any easier for him. do it (break up with him i mean) now, or as soon as you can, because no time is going to be any nicer a time.
-
-
fmlylife.
i think im gonna stop coming here. its useless for me now. i honestly just dont care about anything. my future, my past, my current, anything. i feel useuless, abused, mistreated, not appreciated, un loved, a complete fuck up. thats all i am, and all i will ever be, untell the day i die. even […]
Continue reading i think im gonna stop coming here. its u…-
D.S
Live life on what you think about yourself. Not on what other people think about you.
You know you haven’t been doing anything wrong, so don’t give up hope.
I wish you all the best in life, and I promise you I do not think you’re a fuck no matter what.
Good luck with it all,
Daniela
-
D.S
Sorry, I don’t think you’re a ‘fuck up’.
Daniela
-
-
secondchancesx3
Don’t stop. We all care. Best wishes to you if you do stop though.
-
camomile
Thats not nice to be told things like that and someone to treat you like that,that you are not good enough this and that.Dont listen to that s*** and crap,to me that is for small kids not for adults to talk like that who should have respect for each other.That is so hurting to be told things like that,I would slap him on the face who ever it is.Who has the right to tell you that whatever you do is not right,i think she is judgementall she should look at herself.There is people who can really badly make your self-esteem bad and I really hate them.Those kind of people think they are all that and in love withthemselfs well i am not in lvoe with them,too badddddddddddd.
-
-
reduxxd
I’m hurt that the girl I love decided to opt for a rich guy whose daddy bought him a Porsche. I know that she did love me. I don’t feel the love anymore… It kills me to know that she hid from me all what was happening when I wasn’t there. I never cheated on […]
Continue reading I’m hurt that the girl I love decided t…-
owlcitylove
im inspired by how good a person you are. im glad you are being the better person. hope all goes well :]
-
D.S
I respect that you’re career-driven and that you want to make your own successes and not live off someone else’s.
The sweetest revenge is wishing her well, moving onto bigger and better things and making relationships with other people that are worth more than the one she tainted by being horrible to you.
Don’t slander her, just leave her to her own devices. And one day, in her own time, she’ll regret the way she treated you and the relationship.You’ll never know when, but I can assure you it will happen.
Just don’t be vindictive or spiteful or wish badly on her. Just acknowledge that she will get her Karma, and leave it at that.
All the best, I hope you become successful in whatever you put your mind to.
Daniela
-
secondchancesx3
you will be successful =) Its so much better working for your own stuff then getting it handed to you.
-
WhyAngelsFell
I hate to say it, but everyone lies, and in the end most people are only out to get themselves ahead..
But take what you can from bad experiences. Learn, and grow. It’s given you determination to be something better, if just because they didn’t think you ever would be. That’s better than nothing.
Best of luck with all your plans, too.
-
-
anonymousplease
When I get so overwhelmed that I don’t know what to do, I write letters to God. Sometimes they make me feel better but most of the time they just make me feel more alone than I already am. I feel like I should be crying, but I don’t have the energy to really emote anything […]
Continue reading When I get so overwhelmed that I don’t …-
thallie
I’m so, so sorry that this happened to you.
I don’t know how similar our situations were, but I was molested, too. It really fucked with my physical boundaries and took a long time to get over. First off: It was NOT your fault. Let me repeat that: it was NOT YOUR FAULT. I know that’s hard to believe. I know that you feel like it was your fault, that you let it happen. But let me stress this again: it is not your fault. I want you to keep telling yourself that until you believe it, because it’s the truth.
I know that you’re exhausted, and scared, and a lot of other things that don’t even have words assigned to them. It’s hard, but you need to find a way to let it out. As hard as it will be, I think you need to talk to your parents. I know that is far easier said than done. If you don’t feel like you can tell them that, then explain that you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed and would like to talk to a psychiatrist. If that is still too big a step, set up an appointment with your school’s counselor. One way or another, you need a support system, and preferably a professional one. I used to think that I don’t need to sit in some room and sob at someone who is going to smile and nod and jot down notes about how screwed up I am, but I started to talk to someone last year, and it really does help. If nothing else, there is someone to listen to you. I can’t tell you how relieving it is to just… let it out. Once you reach the professional help stage, try to find someone who does art therapy, too. My current shrink has me keeping a sketch diary that I draw how I’m feeling that day in — whether it just be an emotion or a visualization of something, like feeling alone. I’m saying this because I know you mentioned liking art. You could even start keeping a diary like that before seeing someone. I know that it’s helped me immensely to get it out of my head and onto paper. I can’t speak for both of us, but I always find things so much easier to deal with if I can see them and touch them.
You have so much worth, and deserve to love and be loved. You are the farthest thing from a toy. Just because some guy is a fuckwit doesn’t mean that you need to suffer the consequences. You need to deal with what happened, but most importantly, you need to let go of it. It took me nearly a year before I was able to get intimate at all with my current boyfriend and, you know what? He was okay with that. There are good men out there. There are men who will love you just for you and not for your body. They will love you for the way your smile lights up a room and for the way your mind works. They will think you’re beautiful, no matter what you’re wearing or if you’ve got makeup on.
You are beautiful, and wonderful, and lovable, and don’t let anyone else, including yourself, tell you otherwise.
You aren’t alone, either. I’m here. We may never meet face to face, but I’m here. I understand the pain and confusion, and how overwhelmed you are, and I want to help you get through it. Whenever you need someone to talk to, I’ll be here — whether it’s about being molested, or trying to talk to your parents, or even if you’re just feeling lonely right that second. I’m here, and I care about you.
Here’s sending you a REALLY big hug through cyberspace.
-
anonymousplease
I don’t see how it wasn’t my fault. I feel like I enabled it. I LET him into my house. I wasn’t even very understanding about what happened until months later. It’ll be a year in December? It’s not a date I’ve kept track of.
I didn’t realize what had happened until my boyfriend tried to touch me in an intimate way and I started to cry. And then after that I went to a Christian Camp and while a councelor was sharing her testimony, she mentioned how she was molested but didn’t connect the pieces until years later.
Is that possible? To be molested, but not know it RIGHT after it happens?
She told me that my story was a molestation. But I don’t want to go to anyone about it and have it turn out that it’s all something I made up. I don’t want to seem like I’m being dramatic, or starving for attention, because I’m not….I wouldn’t make something like this up. It’s just hard for myself to believe that i had nothing to do with it.
-
-
stupidkid
it wasn’t your fault. you were scared.
its not my place to tell you how to live your life and you have no reason to listen to me but please hear me out..
NOONE will ever blame you for what happened, nor should they. that jarhead is a fucking scumbag and you have been wronged.
i know what you’re going through. i’ve been there. i’ve felt what you feel and i nearly didn’t make it. i felt the shame and the fear and thought my parents would blame me. they didn’t.
i told one person and, after a lot of effort, he convinced me to tell my parents. they were amazing. obviously shocked and upset as anyone would be. they both hugged and kissed me and told me everything would be ok. they called the police and that cunt is still in jail.your parents love you. they will understand and they will help you get through this. trust me, keeping this inside will only hurt you in the long run. the more you talk to the people you trust, the better you will feel. there is no quick fix but eventually you’ll be able to get on with your life and loves without thinking of him.
i really hope any of that will help you in any way, if not, i’m sorry for wasting your time. But, whether the above helps or not, just remember that not all men are like him. some us are decent people.
stay strong.
X -
anonymousplease
I didn’t say no. Is it still not my fault? That’s all I want to know. Is it real, even if I never told him no.
-
luckyducky
People like that thrive on that shock wave of fear…saying ‘no’ in those situations is not ever an option. Don’t you know that type of fear is written all over a face when it’s happening. I think it should be brought to the table, more so now than before because he contacted you. More than likely to ‘talk’ to you about it to relive some sick @ss situations. It is NOT your fault.
-
-
bobburgster
Sorry for your living hell! You should get professional help so it does not continue to rule your life.
-
-
SolomonTummler
Well…I figure it’s best to admit my problems in their purest form. A bit more than a year ago, I started a relationship with a girl after breaking free from a relationship that wasn’t working. I was in love with the girl, but the relationship was apparently pretty open. As she went to go date a […]
Continue reading Well…I figure it’s best to admit my p…-
Remixer
To me it seems both sides were at fault.
However, the majority of the blame does go on your ex.
Dating other guys without considering your feelings, even though you got upset about it.
Getting angry and unforgiving after you had sex with another woman.
These are very strong signs of a woman whom doesn’t have the slightest clue what she is doing. It is because of this hypocritical behaviour and attitude that you both evolved into a state of love and hate wrestling with each other for the dominating position.
From the looks of things, she is not aware of her own mistakes and is extremely self-serving.
If I were to give my honest opinion, I would tell you that you are much better off without her.
Such women are a complete waste of time as they have no real appreciation of how much they hurt others while they solely pay attention to their own hurt feelings.
Obviously being apart from her is extremely painful for you, but I suggest you think more rationally about what has happened.
The strong emotions you currently feel will easily make you blame yourself for everything that has happened, making you think you were completely at fault and driving you into a hellish cycle of depression.
I suggest you snap out of this cycle. Remove yourself from your current world, travel somewhere for a few weeks and keep your mind busy to avoid thinking about her.
The more you think about her, the harder it will be for you to let go.
If you continue on this self-destructive path, there is no telling what you might reduce yourself to.
Always keep in mind that you are a human being with pride. If you don’t have self-respect, attain it.
Grow from this debacle; do not let anything and anyone’s stupidity and selfish perspective on everthing.
It is not worth it and you yourself are worth so much more.
Simply because you have such strong and earnest feelings, you are a rarity in today’s world.
Be happy about this fact. Better yourself and learn to absorb the pain, because life still goes on, even after your heart was broken.
It may all seem hopeless to you, but it isn’t.
If you wish to talk, I am at your disposal.
Cheers
Remixer
-
secondchancesx3
i agree with remixer.
but i feel like you did nothing wrong here, and this chick that you were seeing sounds like a bitch who was just using you. i know easier said then done, but you need to let go of someone who treated you so terribly. thats bull, the way she treated you. -
SolomonTummler
What drove me nuts was the overall condescension she would give me from time to time after it all broke down and she found someone new.
She once sent me a note concerning some blogs I had posted saying: “Starting this letter isn’t the easiest thing in the world. But I hope you’ll hear me out. Because I think you should know. I recently read your journals. I always do. Because I care about where you are and how you’re doing.
I don’t hate you. I never did and I never will. You helped me through so much and made me a stronger person, for that I’m thankful. And I think it’s time I put your fears of me hating you to rest. Or having any ill wish towards you at all.
Whether you are willing to accept and listen, which I hope you do, you will always hold a place in my heart. I haven’t forgotten about you. How could I. You meant the world to me once. My feelings of wanting the best for you haven’t gone away. I think nothing terrible of you. Not even when I left.
Things will never be as they were, that’s true. But it doesn’t mean I don’t still think about you every once in a while- hoping that you’re doing well. I do, contrary to conscience thought.
Yes, I did move on but as difficult as it was for you, it was also for me. It was not easy to leave, hence why I stopped all talk entirely. I couldn’t handle it. I felt as though we weren’t growing any more, being the best people we could and so I felt I needed to go. And I’m sorry it hurt you. That was possibly the hardest thing I’ve had to do.
But please, if anything you take from this note, know that you were a significant part of my life and have helped me become a better person, one that I can be proud of. I can only hope I have done the same for you. And know, I still check on you to see how you’re doing. The news of the new band is wonderful and I’m ecstatic for you as well as the new friends you have made.
Again, I don’t hate you. I never did. Know you will always hold a place in my heart.
I only hope the best and happiness for you (name).
That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.Happy new year,
hope it brings you everything you want.With all my love,
(name)”
——————-
It drove me nuts how someone could say they didn’t love me anymore “with all of their love”.It just felt like a cop-out…like she wrote it to shut me down and make any possible reply from me seem desperate to either hurt her or make her come back to me.
Like she wanted to come out as the bigger person…I felt, and still feel, insulted.
-
Reta
yeah, its cruel… and i feel sorry for my ex, because i say i care without wanting to be with him. but really how else can you describe a feeling of a good memory with a not so happy ending? you guys at one time had a great connection but like everything amazing, it didn’t last long.
it sounds like a big cause and effect relationship. she wasn’t sure about you when you two first started dating so saw other guys, hurt you. so in response you found comfort with another women. as an effect she was hurt and felt it was owed to her to be allowed to see other people. a vicious cycle which from the very start was rough but then it caught some momentum and got out of control. both of you lost trust in the other and what relationship can be built from there?
would probably benefit you to ignore her and find someone else or something else for a time to occupy yourself. that love is not one of a kind. in fact there’s better choices, where a woman will love you without doubting her feelings towards you and you to her leaving out any trust issues that evolved from the one you described. now to say all you have to do is ignore her is ideal in theory but in practice is near impossible to pull off. not hearing about the guys shes going around with will be better for you but curiosity is quite devilish.
but really, distraction is probably the best medicine when getting over someone.
-
Remixer
I agree.
Distraction will be probably be the best course of action for you.
Remixer
-
SolomonTummler
I’ll try…Reta is right though, curiosity is devilish. Its like telling yourself not to look down…you end up looking anyway.
Doesn’t help that she recently said Hi and came to “See how I was doing” on my webpage. Unfortunately, I can’t delete it, but I may hide it.
Should I ignore the comment?
Or should I just say “hello”?
-
-
-
-
-
archaic
I found out that my long time girlfriend had cheated on me and I dont know why but I never said anything to her about it for a long time. I guess I was scared of being alone although it messed me up pretty badly at the time. I dont really care about it anymore because […]
Continue reading I found out that my long time girlfriend…-
copykat
Having someone abuse your trust like that does do heavy damage, and it’s not unusual to be afraid of it happening again, but there are so many girls out there who would never cheat, so don’t lose faith! And maybe one day you’ll meet this girl again, just no when you’re coming out of a bad relationship, where it could end up being a rebound.
-
Remixer
I’m in a similar position when it comes to trusting women. However, I wasn’t cheated on, I was lied to.
Regardless, you cannot blame yourself for turning the other girl down.
When you love someone and that person turns out to have cheated on you, there is basically nothing that can put your emotions through more chaos.
It would not be surprising that after two weeks, you were still in complete emotional disarray and were hanging on to your love for your ex.
At the point of time, it was the right thing for you to have turned the other girl down.
Jumping into a new relationship while your emotions are in complete chaos make chances of a new working relationship to be established nearly impossible and you likely would have ended up hurting the new girl.
Always take your time when it comes to love and relationships.
Remixer
-
Reta
it was unfortunate timing. but really another beautiful, intelligent, and faithful woman will come into your life. there are a few out there that have dumped an unfaithful boyfriend. for every man wronged by a woman is a woman wronged by a man. don’t stress over it.
coping with losing a long-term relationship can be very difficult. before, you had someone you could talk to, cuddle with, and enjoy intimate pleasures. after ending it, your hormones recognize the absence of it. jumping into a relationship or just random play can be done without much precaution finding yourself in some deep waters. preoccupy yourself with a hobby or get together with some friends you haven’t seen in awhile. have fun being single, there are some advantages, just be safe
-
camomile
It doesnt mean that you will have cheating in your relationship again,dont think so negative not all girls are the same there is some nice ones who search for love.well if I was you when I meet someone I would tell honestly I hate cheating and I dont tolerate it and thats it and if they will accept it fine if not goodbye none neends to get hurt if they have been allready.
-
Mara 2:57 pm on May 28, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply
It varies. What makes me get up, is I can’t stay in bed. No matter how much I may want to.
I’ve never had much loss to deal with, but I generally don’t deal with it well. I dig at the problem, try and find out as much as I can. It rarely works.
And what keeps me from giving up is my friends. I don’t have much faith in family any more. So I put my faith in the people I choose to care about, and in the fact that the world keeps going. That as long as you keep going with it, there’s a chance things get better. And sometimes I let myself give up for a bit, just to remind myself what it’s like. To remind myself why I don’t want to do it.