third coming out attempt: failed.
mother, understand. i’m not confused - you’re ignorant.
Tagged: sad RSS
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Jasmine
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px2006
I miss you so much and each day without you hurts. I can’t just “take a break” from you and wait until you get better and then see if we still want to be together, whatever that means. You won’t explain to me what you meant. I’m glad we still talk but it’s hard to act just as friends. I promised you I’d be there for you whenever you needed me - I meant it … and you need someone now more than ever.
I don’t think I’ll ever get over loving you…
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All Time Shannon
i know what you mean by this, and im afraid there is nothng you can do about how you are feeling. ive felt the same for almost 2 years. But i figured its better to have him as a friend than not at all. Maybe in the future, things will change, and be the way you want them to be. Don’t give up.
- Shannon
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JOHNSGIRL
I miss you so much. I don’t understand what happened. One day everything is fine the next you won’t talk to me. OMG your 40 years old, we are not kids why are you acting like one? So I leave you a message and tell you fine, I will go away and leave you alone and I have done it. I ache without you. But the past two days your texting me one word, hey. WTF So I answer back with hey and then nothing. What is going on? Do you think you did no wrong and are waiting on me to call? I don’t get this at all. So today no text, no nothing. I miss our friendship, our long talks, hearing about what your doing during the day, the next day. Did it all mean nothing to you? We have known each other so long, I don’t understand. If there is a problem just call and say so damn it! I am a strong woman and refuse to call you like some weak little girl. You are the one who decided you didn’t want to talk one day out of the blue without a word. I have cried a thousand tears and my heart aches like it has been ripped into pieces. I gave you my heart and feel like you took it for granted and stomped it into the ground. I know our lives are complicated with other relationships but I don’t care. You are such an important part of my life…where are you…what are you thinking…
Please to God call me-
pd0815
It’s all out of the blue? Just from the information in this post i surmise he’s playing games with you. Don’t call… play the game if you want but if you do, games is all you will play forever.
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lavieboheme
yesterday i was scared that if i felt him, even through his pants, it’d become all he wants.
today, when we were holding hands in the hall, he put my hand there… and then last hour, he hugged me, and pulled me to him, and asked if i could feel how hard he was.
im scared i was right.
i love him.
but i want a real relationship.
we’re 15, and we’ve been together 5 months total, with a one wweek break in there.
he cheated on me with his best (female) friend. he wanted to prove to her it was worth it to stay alive, and so they played the nervous game.
i feel like im in competition with her for his attention, coz she fakes sad every single day. i dont know what to do anymore. i cry about this more than i would like to.
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rubies
While you were holding hands in the hall at school?! … you might be right..
I don’t know what the nervous game is but I doubt its a great excuse for cheating. You’re going to be jealous of his best girlfriend for the rest of your relationship, do you think you can handle that? He shouldn’t even be friends with her after the cheating part. She disrespected your relationship.
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itsme1
I have tried being happy lately. I really do hate being down and I am normally an upbeat person. I am usually telling my wife to be more positive…The truth is, I hate my life. I feel like the last 14 years have been a waste. I messed up and put myself in a situation where I am living where I do not want to live. I have a job that I hate and can’t find another one. I feel like I am a failure as a father. There is nothing that I want more than a “Do Over” button.
I know that isn’t possible, but I can’t get my mind off of it. I just want to start over. Is there anyone else out there that is over $100,000 in debt and that does NOT include a house? Yup that would be me.
I am trapped and I feel like there is no way out. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Life is just going to continue to suck until the day I die. Heck, the way things are going for me, the way I die will suck too. It will probably be some long drawn out and painful thing.
Hope…I want it. I want to believe that there is something better. That it will get better. If you knew me, you would never believe that I feel this way. I have gotten really good at acting positive and happy. I have even had people tell me that they wish they could be positive like me, that they look to me as an example of this. If they only knew the truth. Inside, I am a wreck.
I get up in the morning and dread going to work. At the end of the day, I dread going home. The only place I wish I could be is where I consider home.
I never get to go there…She finds a reason why we can’t go. Not that they aren’t legitate reasons…but she always finds them. I don’t think she does it on purpose, but she does it.
I want happiness.
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GraingerGuy
You’re seriously $100K in debt? Credit card debt? Time for bankruptcy my friend. It’ll get the creditors to stop calling and will give you a plan and peace of mind. Call an attorney. That’s one way to start.
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Y ask Y
Hey man. It’s never too late. There’s a saying that you have to eat an Elephant in small bites. Right now I’m sure it looks insurmountable, but even the smallest step towards change might create an Avanlanche towards something greater.
There’s truth in your post, and certainty. The certainty is that if you don’t make a change of some kind, you’re right, your life is guaranteed to be ass until the grave. Hope will come from change, man. It won’t just fall out of the sky. And that’s frightening and it’s shit and it sucks, but that’s how it is.
I don’t know about the debt. But I do know about no having much money to go around. The money has nothing to do with your ability to interact with your kids. Being a great dad is free. It’s just a matter or perspective, and if you don’t have money, ingenuity. You can do it.
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bobburgster
file for bankruptcy
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Y DO I LUV U
i read good quotes about moving on and never giving up hope…
but im losing hope. i feel we’re drifting apart.. i know i f***ed up, and now im paying for it.. you have school and work. and you’re under a lot of stress. i understand that. u say you’re a bad gf and u cant give me what i need in a relationship.. and you cant say if you wanna be with me, u say that u dont wanna hurt my feelings.
im so damn of being depressed. i hate this, this is NOT me. i just want u to hold my hand, or a kiss. heck send me a random i love u text. but i never get it anymore…how do i show u its ok? what do i need to do? tell me… but all i get is you dunno.. what do i need to do? leave? im hurting and tired of it, i just want you to be happy so we can go back to us being a happy couple…
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All Time Shannon
She sounds a bit like me, half the time I don’t know what’s wrong with me either. What you need to do, Is not think you have done something wrong. Because there’s a large possibility that you are not the one who has upset her or made her happy, because if it was.. She probably would have already told you. Just be there for her, don’t ask questions about what’s wrong and how you can help. That will make things worse. Be the great boyfriend you are, text her randomly and tell her you love her and soon enough her frown will turn upside down. Good luck *hug*
- Shannon, x
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All Time Shannon
Unhappy* I meant -__-
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Y DO I LUV U
its just really hard. cause she says maybe she doesnt wanna be happy.. and my insticnt is to make her happy.. like this morning i was gunna drive over and put a not on her car that said i love you. and i told her, and she got kinda mad. cause i was changing.. but its not fair cause she is also changing.. and she says at times she isnt happy in the relationship..
its just taking a toll on me.. i just want things to get better.-
All Time Shannon
I know what you mean, it is hard. And don’t forget it must be hard for her too. Things will get better in time, but try not to rush it. I know you want things to get better, while it fixes itself and she has a bit of thinkig space. You just have to try and stay positive. On the bright side of things… Try listening to owl citys album; ocean eyes. (NOT fireflies, that’s overrated)
Don’t forget I’m here if you need to talk- Shannon
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All Time Shannon
“we must accept finite dissapointment, but never lose infinate hope” - Martin Luther King Jr.
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MyRelease
It’s hard always being the strong, dependable one, because no one ever notices when you’re not ok, you have had to learn to hide it with a smile
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nothing but me
I totally understand how you feel.
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MyRelease
sometimes I just wanna go wild, go out and party, I’m nearly 23 now, and I never did they whole go out and party ever fri and sat night (legal drinking age here is 18) I feel like I missed out on my teenage years, I literally have no true friends, only acquaintances really…i feel so alone sometimes even though I have a boyfriend
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Chemistry
I know this is late, but I understand completely, too.
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noleftturns
I wish someone would surprise me with something nice. Just once.
I feel like I’m always trying to please people, and I never get the same in return.
Take me to lunch, stop by my place for a visit unannounced, show an honest interest in me for once, I don’t care.I just want proof you guys love me back.
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immortally.alive
I know exactly how you feel. sometimes you give n give n give, but when ur in need theres no one in sight. my friends only talk to me when they need somethin n they never text or call to see how im doin. although i’d spend my last dime on them.. Theres not much i can do. The world is selfish and ugly… good thing theres still ppl like us. keep ur head up, cuz ur probably making someones day.
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Remixer
People are far less grateful for what you do for them than you will probably ever believe.
However, you have no right to expect the things you do.
Either they show interest in you or they don’t. Humans are fickle that way.
Trying to “coerce” (for lack of a better word) them into having an interest in you by doing nice things for them, the fault lies with you and noone else.
If you are not satisfied with it, find better friends or change your attitude.
Remixer
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noleftturns
Wow, you’re pretty cynical. When it comes down to it I don’t do nice things to get people to like me, I do them because I like people. My friends like me and I like them, and I have to congratulate you on getting me to see that by posting a response as useless as “people suck you should get better friends.” That’s a real gift.
P.S: You don’t have to put your name at the end of your post. We already see it at the top.
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noleftturns
Addendum: After seeing your other posts, I’m pretty sure you’re either out of touch with humanity, a troll, or a fourteen year old.
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Remixer
Cheers, but I’m neither of those.
Regardless, the point still stands, that if you’re not happy with what you have, change must occur.
Whether you accept that logic or brand it as cynical and me as a troll, is your decision. Neither affects the argument in place.
Remixer
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noleftturns
Well, crisis averted.
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Kitty
I feel the same <3
- Shannon
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secondchancesx3
I kiind off feel the same sometimes..but not really. Like I do things for people because I want to do them. Not because I expect something in return.
but then sometimes, set the whole, i do things for people aside, i feel like i just dont get treated well sometimes. But it has nothing to do with the fact that i did something for them first…
idk if that makes any sense at all. lol
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thallie
I feel guilty for whining all the time. I am so blessed, but all I can do is bitch and moan and throw myself a pity party. I really need to get my ass in gear and cheer up, but I just seem to lack the ability /:
I am an incredibly lame person.
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secondchancesx3
your not lame. your human! Its okay, your time will come. All of our times, they will come!
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D.S
You are not lame and you know it.
You’re going through a tough one at the moment and it’s so understandable to be upset and admittedly, a little selfish. I think it’s fine and, well, expected for anyone to act like that.
Because I know how you feel. You think that everything would just disappear in a heartbeat if things went back to the way they were.
The sad truth is, is that the likelihood of it going back to the way it was wouldn’t ever happened.
If i were in your position, i’d recommend to explicate all feelings, on here and with your therapist.
You’ll be fine.
And I completely agree with seconchancesx3!
Take care,
Daniela
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thallie
It’s really sad when the thing that you gear up for every week is a visit to your shrink ):
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secondchancesx3
sometimes i think i need to see a shrink. or therapist of some kind. im not strong enough to do that though. Honestly tho i dont really think im at the point where i need to see one yet. But if i get any worse then maybe.. ah. Idk, just thoughts sometimes.
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thallie
I’d see one. You’re in college, right? Talk to your school’s counselors. That’s what I’m doing. I didn’t think I needed one, either, but a friend talked me into seeing one and it’s been REALLY helpful.
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sabbath
Thats not sad at all, I think thats nice!
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CrimsonTears
it was the only event that happened during my weeks, my only socialization, my only reason to get out of bed, and my only reason to live for a while. I kept living every day because I was scared it’d hurt my psycho if I died, that she may feel she had failed me and I wasn’t able to do that to her.
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thallie
I miss him so, so, so, so incredibly, mind numbingly, heart achingly much. All I want is a call a night. Ten minutes. But that’s too much to ask for. I’m so lonely, but what else can I do? It’s even worse, because I know that he’s with her when he’s not talking to me. I know he’s not cheating, but I still feel like he’s choosing her over me.
I wish that I didn’t love him half as much as I do.
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Cornholio
Thallie: I feel for you, I’m in the same position. I wish I could forget her. Though we’re meeting again soon I think this will be a mistake
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secondchancesx3
“I miss him so, so, so, so incredibly, mind numbingly, heart achingly much.”
&&
“I wish that I didn’t love him half as much as I do.”2 sentences that describe exactly how i feel about internet dude.
arrgghh… -
bunny
This describes me so well, too
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scp
Oh god, I can relate so badly. <3
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thallie
For the last two days, I’ve felt okay. It’s 2am and I don’t want to go to sleep, because I’m afraid that tomorrow will be a bad day, and this whole vicious cycle of happy and unbelievably, crushingly sad will start all over again.
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sabbath
That cheers me up a little that you’re happy!
Don’t focus on being unhappy tomorrow, try not to think about it.. I hope you are as happy as your are now as when you awake
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rivergirl
I used to feel like that all the time. I was scared of my feelings going away.
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thallie
I work so hard to be perfect. I try so hard to be charming, and pretty, and fun, and strong, and clever, all in the hopes that I can get someone, anyone, to love me enough to want to keep me.
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reduxxd
Try reading this: If it helps… tell pple abt it!
http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/article/the-pursuit-of-happiness
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thallie
Thanks for the try, but this didn’t really help me ): I did love myself for a while, but that didn’t seem to change anything. I’m just as unlovable as ever.
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shameful
Hi Thallie. You have replied to me before i have never to you. I am the one who is having an online/phone affair. I still am. I know bad person. Anyway, it sounds like you are like a lot of us who just want to be loved and never feel like we fit in. And yet here WE ALL ARE on this message board trying to reach out to on another. What is up with that? I know that I am not perfect and I don’t try to be anymore. Just know that I and sounds like a lot of other ppl empathize with you.
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secondchancesx3
hey thallie. you dont have to work so hard to be perfect. I bet you already are charming, BEAUTIFUL, fun, stong and smart without even trying!! Someone worth your love, will love you how you are RIGHT now. love you for all your imperfections, all your flaws (lets face it. we all have flaws! Its half of what makes us so individual, and beautiful!) Someone will come around, and you will be perfect in their eyes. Dont settle for “someone, anyone” When the right guy comes, you will know it. because not only will you be pefect in his eyes, you will be pefect for each other. And it will be beautiful.
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noname
So I have this problem, a kind of normal problem I guess.
I’m still in love with my ex boyfriend.
We started dating August 20th and we were on and off for 9 months. I never gave him head, but I let him take my virginity. After he took my virginity he decided head was more important and left me for some other girl.
That was the first time I ever experienced a heart break.
He came back for me because he still “loved” me. After I took him back, he did it again. Except this time he went on a date with the girl while him and I were still dating, so I proceeded to dump him.
That was the second time I experienced a heart break.
We still talk, and sometimes we’re best friends. This summer we went to warped tour together and it was amazing. On the way home he told me that he still loved me and he chose the girl he’s with now only because I chose the guy I’m with now. That’s bullshit. Whenever we talk he says it’s my fault and if I didn’t dump him that day we’d still be together.
Oh how i wish i didn’t dump him.
Now several months since the last time we we’re together, i have a boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong, i am so so happy, and i do love my current boyfriend, but sometimes I get into these moods where all I want is my old boyfriend. I want things the way they we’re a year ago. He has a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend. I know that if i wanted to i could have sex with him. Although, that’s not what i want. My parents hate him, my friends hate him, my current boyfriend hates him and his girlfriend hates me. There is so much friction between us.
I’m just not sure how to feel.
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Dan-Yella
I’m in a slightly similar situation.
Except, we broke up after 9 months for fighting over the most irrelevant things that just weren’t important. The thing is, we still remain friends in the hopes of working things out.
That’s when it gets sticky. He doesn’t know what he wants it seems, because one minute he can be cold and distant and then the next, we’ll hug eachother, and everything feels just right.
Its so much easier to just fall into a pattern, rather than moving on. And although you have moved on it doesn’t seem like you’re over your ex. Maybe if you had some single, alone time, you might be able to clear your thoughts.
All the best.
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padyirishman
hiya wana chat
padyirishmanatyahoodotcodotuk
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anon650
I don’t know why but for some reason, snowglobes make me really sad. I can’t stop looking at them and they are very beautiful but they often bring me to tears. I’m a guy…
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Shannon_Secret
Awhh! Thats such a cute confession. Many things make me cry, don’t worry about it, many people cry at snow globes. X
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anon650
I think it’s because I’m just starting life on my own and the world seems so big and scary but the snowglobes are small and contained and simple and beautiful and I wish I could live in them. I feel so silly…
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Shannon_Secret
The world Is a scary place, but everyone has to face it some time. Soon enough you’ll love it. And start making your dreams a reality!
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CrystalFlyFaery
That’s cute
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Napoleon
It’s alright, the Simpsons makes me cry sometimes.
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Sassy
I’m 19 years old this year and I’ve only had sex once. It feels like something’s wrong with me! I’ve had one boyfriend and we knew eachother though school, so we got together after 3 years in the same class and now I feel like it’s impossible to meet someone, because no one will ever get to like me without knowing me for a couple of years. I always feel like I’m not pretty enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not skinny enough, not interesting enough. It’s MAD to think that just a few years is gonna affect the rest of my life, but that doesn’t stop me.. What if I’m the one who ends up unmarried and untouched (almost) ? I HATE THIS! I’m so filled with lust right now so I don’t know where to put myself. Ieergh! Can’t just everything change with the move?? Please..
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CrystalFlyFaery
It won’t stay that way. Don’t let your lack of cock devour you.
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colleenknows
Read “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene. It will help. I promise.
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Group.Huggies
Look, even if you’re fat and/or ugly if you’re DTF guys will accommodate you. Let it be known you’re horny, the problem will take care of itself.
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yarsaf
Don’t fret about it too much; you’ll do it eventually. Just find some guy and do him silly
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numbereft
I’m also 19, but haven’t even had sex once. I do however have a wonderful girlfriend and know that it’s not far off. Just wait until you find someone nice and who adores you. Then it’ll never end. I know exactly how you feel about thinking you’re not good looking enough or smart or funny enough. You’re wrong, you’re always exactly what somebody out there wants.
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leotolstoy
I’m 22 and haven’t had sex. I understand what you are saying. I don’t let myself get that close to anyone. If you figure out what to do, you should let me know, I’m still trying to figure that out too.
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Kerushi
Masturbation is your friend.
I’m going through the same thing. But I met this guy, we got along, and he decided he didn’t like me anymore.
I didn’t even get laid so I’m still all sorts of filled with lust.
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4qts
The problem is you are all continually looking; except your situation, embrace it and when you least expect it someone will come into your life!
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0T791
Wow. Exactly the same here, except i’m 18 and i’ve never had sex.
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El_Scorcho
That’s it. It’s over. After one hell of a year and two months, you finally left me. I can’t really believe it. I don’t want to. I’m such a fucking idiot for the things i’ve done. I’m such a self centred dick for the things i’ve thought. I’m such a insensitive cunt for the things i’ve said. Even if all of those, were out of panic for losing you. Ironicly. The worrying about losing you, is the thing that made you dump me. You think i don’t know you, but really i memorize every word you say, and hold it closer to my heart than my lungs. You’re the best thing that has EVER happened to me. I will cherish the memories we’ve had together, even if i live far away, and therefore we don’t have as many good ones as most couples. I hope to god that you’ll give me another chance, i’ve learned my lessons. Please. I need you. Or, at least, i need to know you’ll be happier without me. I know i’m only 15. I know you all think you’ll get over it, you’ll think you’ve fallen in love with the next girl that bats her lashes at you. And you’re in a way right, on the first part. But, although i’l learn to love again, i’l never love quite like i love you. Although there are plenty more fish in the sea, i’l never find quite a rare beauty like you. I feel like i’m playing every part of the song Jolene, with the exception of that of the ‘man’. I took my own girl away from me, but i’m begging you to come back.
P.S. You people that don’t mean any harm by saying ‘All you people that are all sad need to grow up and learn to become stronger by your problems!’ annoy the hell out of me. We don’t give a shit, just cause you can manage it, doesn’t mean everyone else can. Lucky, fucking, you.
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Cherry_chapstick7
I can’t really say anything but, “I’m sorry”. I hope things get better.:)
*hug
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joei
“I memorise every word you say and I hold it closer to my heart than my lungs”-
“although there are more fish in the sea. I’ll never find quite a rare beauty like you”
Man that’s beautiful! I sure hope you get your second chance- otherwise she’s the loser!
You’re 15! Hell, as a romantic by the time you’re 18 you’ll be unstoppable!and your PS hits the nail right square on the head.
good luck brother -
kiwi.in.oz
I think you are wrong in your PS. I don’t think they manage it at all, they are probably shut off to emotions because emotions can be scary and uncontollable sometimes.
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heavymetalcows22
I know how you feel. I am only 18, I was with someone from when i was 16 until a couple of months ago. Age makes no difference, don’t let anyone tell you that it does. I love him with all my heart. We never fought, until the last couple of months. Because I was so afraid that it was to good to be true, I was insecure and defensive. He left and said he was unhappy, later I found out that wasnt the reason. But my point is.. If you know you love this person with all of your heart and every drop of your soul, if you love them more than anyone in the universe, then don’t give up. If the love is as true as it sounds, she will realize that you’re wonderful. Some people are just meant to be together, no matter how many times they try to tear themselves apart. I’m still waiting. It hurts, but I know some how some way I’ll get another chance. I hope you do too. I’ll pray for you, whether you believe in God or not, that you find your happiness again. To be happy and in love is unequaled by every other emotion combined. Its bliss, and everyone deserves it. Good luck.
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El_Scorcho
kiwi, I hope you are wrong, but y’know what, i think you’re right.
I’ve tried for a second chance, i mean i’ve really tried. I’ve begged, and begged, to the point just before she starts to think i’m going to become an obsessed psycho killer ex-boyfriend. She won’t. It’s okay though. I don’t deserve one. I treated her like shit, so i shouldn’t have another. She doesn’t love me, so it’s okay that i won’t. She never has. So it’s good. She can find someone she does love now, who won’t treat her like he’s paid for her. Who she can spend time with, share love and laughter with, hug, kiss, and argue with. I just wish that person was me.
heavymetalcows22, I do love her more than anything in the universe, but that’s why i am giving up. Letting a bird out of a cage to be free kind of thing. I feel for you though, cause it seems as if we’re in a similar situation, the difference lies in that I know she is better off without me. By the sounds of things, you two are perfect for each other, and you’re perfectly right. Keep going, keep trying.
But me, i deserve not to be prayed for. I deserve not to be felt for, and with L, i don’t deserve unequaled happiness. Unfortunately, i wouldn’t have it with anyone else.
Oh, and joei, There is no winner in love. It is not a game as much as it may seem like it. It’s the most serious thing in the world. People have killed for it, people have died for it. People still do. Although there is no winner although it is no game, there will always be a loser, and on this occasion, it is me, not her. And now i seem like a patronizing idiot, talking to someone older than him like he has no idea on what love is. I should shut up. My apologies.
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camomile
Better move on .
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miss jellyfish
therapy and “telling someone” doesnt work for shit. it makes my depression worse.
if they dont give me the fucking meds soon, im not going to be around for much longer.-
anon650
A lot of it is just the way you think. Try to look at things differently and have more confidence in yourself - even when it seems tough or dumb. Don’t rely on medications - you’ll just become someone else who is dependent on them and the more you keep on using the medications the worse things will become. Medication isn’t the answer, you don’t need that shit.
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nephiwascourageous
I think it’s a bad sign when a book about deception and crazy people has lots of parallels to my life…
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beachbarbie
I feel you.
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hellothere
I feel so damn sad every day and I don’t know why. It feels like there is a weight sitting on my heart, but I have no reason to feel so sad. I have so much to be thankful for.
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nothing but me
I know exactly how you feel. Used to feel like that when I was younger. You may have friends, family, a home… But something is missing. Try to find what is it and why.
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doesitevenmatter
i know how you feel… i am depressed all the time. i find talking to people helps sometimes but i am pretty sure its up to you to make you feel better. just keep trying to do somehtig with ur life…dont let the sadness get the best of you.
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sugarr
are you feeling empty ? sit down and question yourself.
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sumstratt
It may not be a situational problem, it might be a chemical imbalance. Talk to a doctor about it, make sure you don’t have depression or bipolarity or anything like that. A lot of people think they do because they get sad, but if you feel this way all the time, it couldn’t hurt to ask and to maybe get some help.
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All Time Shannon 7:30 am on March 7, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply
hmm… i dont know what to say to this. I see you tagged it as ‘sad’ please dont be sad. you have the courage to come out, some people don’t. know that we accept you. your mother will come round. what she said, that you confused… is only to be expected.
how old are you may i ask?
jasmine 11:28 am on March 7, 2010 Permalink | Log in to Reply
i’m fourteen years old, but i came out to my best friend at thirteen, and i’ve known who i am for longer than that. hopefully my mother will eventually see
i just gotta hold on, all my friends are wishing the best for me, and i love them all for that ^-^