My parents were killers; my dad is dead, and my mother has been in jail since I was 15. I never thought I deserved anything out of life, that maybe I was just a stain on the world. But I think I may be falling in love. And I’m terrified that once he finds out […]
Continue reading My parents were killers my dad is dead…
I’m bisexual. I keep telling myself that nobody will care, but I’m too afraid to tell anybody. My family and my friends will just judge me; they’ll think of me differently. It’s been haunting me since I started college last semester. I’ve sat around doing nothing just thinking about it. My grades are terrible, my […]
Continue reading I’m bisexual. I keep telling myself tha…
I know what your going through, somewhat, at least. It does suck. :l
You could always do what I did.
Start out by telling someone else whos into the same sex, someone you can trust.
That way you have someone to talk to about things and once your ready start telling your close friends.
You know, some people might say, “Oh, it’s no big deal. It’s just ONE part of you. It doesn’t define your entire being” but it’s hard not to think about it all the time, isn’t it? It’s hard because you know it’s the one part of you that might mean you’ll be liked less, loved less, for who you are. I sometimes start to hate myself because I know my parents will hate me for it, or my friends will see me differently.
I hope you know there’s no pressure to tell anyone yet. You can tell someone once you feel and know that you’re ready. That might be next week, next month, next year, who knows.
Does your college have a LGBT support group? It’s generally an anonymous place and it might help make you feel a bit less afraid.
Thanks for the kind words.
My college has a very large percentage of LGBT people attending; in fact, the city it is in has a reputation for it. But I’m not a very social person. I have a tendency to have panic attacks when too much attention is drawn to me, so I tend to avoid group things. That’s why I feel like I can’t really tell anyone because I have this nagging feeling that I’ll suddenly break down one day. I’m an incredibly emotionally unstable person. And I know that my few male friends are going to get distant, because that’s how they were with another of my close friends that came out.
My imagination scares the hell out of me.
Continue reading My imagination scares the hell out of me…
I feel like a stranger in my own country.I was going to the Alps with a few friends for the long weekend and we got stopped by the border police. They kept us for 6 hours questioning us, searching our car, searching us and tried their level best to ruin our holiday. This would all […]
Continue reading I feel like a stranger in my own country…
I don’t want to do this anymore. Some years ago, I lose myself and now I can’t find myself anymore. I don’t know who I am, and I have no self-control over my actions anyway. Like how people who don’t “work” with education leave it, life and I aren’t working. I don’t know what I’m doing […]
Continue reading I don’t want to do this anymore. Some y…
I wish I had the right words to tell you, something to help but I feel the same emptiness and loss. Just know you are not alone, others share your pain. It’s never to late to change anything.
u should go to 4chan.org ya
My best friend in the whole world has started telling everyone I know we’re dating. She’s amazing in every way, and I love her to bits. But we are both (or at least I thought we both were) on a mutual understanding that we didn’t want a relationship. Now don’t get me wrong, I love commitment, […]
Continue reading My best friend in the whole world has st…
I hope you read what she answered to yo on the other board. I say, Why not give it a little try? see how things go?
You don’t think you could work on/through this stuff together? If you don’t go for it now, you may lose your chance and will play the ‘what if’ game - I can’t remember who said it but we mostly regret the things that we didn’t do more than the things we did.
At the very least, the situation needs to be clarified with her. If she is telling people you are dating when you are not, and when you were under the impression she wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with you, that’s a very mixed message she is sending and you should really have a talk about it.
Try to live for her. Dying and the rest are the easy things…
So why not try to work through this together? You need to start somewhere in order to learn, so why not here, with a serious relationship with someone who knows and (hopefully) understands you, so the chances of working everything out are the highest they could ever be?
you just gotta see how it goes, dude. you might hurt her and yourself, or you could be filled with joy.
Honestly, if i met a guy online and we’ve been talking for years and he’s never made a move… would it be cool to add him to my friends list right? Becuase like if something bad was gonna happen he wouldn’t have taken the time to get to know me over all the years…. right? […]
Continue reading Honestly, if i met a guy online and we’…
Youll be ok…If you really trust him and you want to then whats the matter?
i dont see the harm. be careful though.
be careful, only meet with him in group settings first
whenever i see a pair of scissors i really want to cut my skin. i don’t know why, because i don’t want to die, i don’t want the attention, and i don’t really like blood or pain. it doesn’t even have to be on my arm. leg, shoulder, finger..as long as i can get a […]
Continue reading whenever i see a pair of scissors i real…
I’m back at school — this past week with him was glorious. As I fell asleep in his arms last night, I remembered what it’s like to feel loved and like I was the most important thing in his world. As we sat, making a shelving unit just for kicks, I watched him smile, his […]
Continue reading I’m back at school — this past week wi…
If he has hurt you before, chances are he will again. Go with your gut instinct, if you don’t think you can trust him, you probobly shouldn’t. I hope for the best though!
i think my best friend is my history teacher. i never creep him out and he wants to be there for me more than my friends my age. i don’t get to talk to him too often.. he doesn’t respond to my emails because he prefers to talk to me face to face. i don’t […]
Continue reading i think my best friend is my history tea…
I think that you should ask for his cell number…the truth is if he didn’t wna give it to you hed say “oh i dont have a cell phone” or make up some excuse and if he gave it to you and he didn’t wantyou to call..thats what caller i.d. is for…he could not answer…i think its worth a shot and its can help greatly in the long run…
how old are you?
For the last two days, I’ve felt okay. It’s 2am and I don’t want to go to sleep, because I’m afraid that tomorrow will be a bad day, and this whole vicious cycle of happy and unbelievably, crushingly sad will start all over again.
Continue reading For the last two days, I’ve felt okay. …
That cheers me up a little that you’re happy!
Don’t focus on being unhappy tomorrow, try not to think about it.. I hope you are as happy as your are now as when you awake 
.
I used to feel like that all the time. I was scared of my feelings going away.
I hate that I am so fragile right now. One night of not talking to me was all it took to send me right back to the bottom of the hill, all over again. It’s easier to put on a happy face again now, but is that really better than crying on the sofa when […]
Continue reading I hate that I am so fragile right now. O…
Just went through something that sounds very similar. If you cant tell. Its been weeks since he has talked to me. I have been curled up like that since the day i knew it was over. Its not a fun place to be. Dont do it. be open about it, have people help you deal with it. It stinks being so sad, and alone at the same time!!
That’s just it. We aren’t broken up. There are nights… most of last week, really… where everything is fine. Which is why I feel stupid for letting one or two lame nights totally tear me up like this.
We nearly broke up. That’s what started all of this. My mother tried to commit suicide and my boyfriend nearly broke up with me over it a few months later. And losing him isn’t JUST losing him, though that in itself is bad enough. His family is my family. Without them, I’m alone in this world.
It’s all so overwhelming… I’m sorry to hear that you’re having such a rough time, too. My heart really goes out to you. It’s nice to know that someone else out there knows what I’m going through, at least to some extent.
wow, i knew i didnt know your situation, because everyones is different. but man, im so sorry. i understand though. that his family is your family. and how hard it would be with out them all. how could he want to break up with you after somehting like that happens though? i find that horrible. yeah it may be a tricky situation and all but i would be nothing but THERE for my sig other if something like that happend. ah. Im so sorry about everything and mine goes out to you as well. Itll all be okay. Always here to talk! Either way i still do agree with what i said, its better to be open about it then keep it all inside and be by yourself. it really sucks being alone. so this site is good. because you can tell a bunch of strangers! =) lol
You are beautifull person and you dont need to be beautifull for anyone.
I am letting myself get hopeful after last night. I am afraid it will only end in tears, but I can’t help but hope all the same.
Continue reading I am letting myself get hopeful after la…
Is everything okay?
Hope can be a terrible thing when things are a little uncertain.
Daniela
Everything is okay. Peachy keen in fact. I am concerned that it won’t last.
don’t be concerned. when you’re concerned you can’t fully enjoy it.
I’ll let you in on a little secret of mine. I am the Prophet of Doom, if there ever was one.
During the whole period I was in that relationship, I was constantly vocal (to others and to him) about how the relationship probably wouldn’t last, because we we’re both young (I’m 18, he’s 21) and because I was preparing myself for the worst. Secretly, I was hopeful it would work out, deep down.
Essentially, I convinced myself that the relationship would fail.
Whatever you do, just, don’t worry about “What if?”
Take a leap of faith… just try not be hopeful. Remain slightly impassive. Or at least try to.
Daniela
the best thing about crying is that i don’t think it can kill you. a lot of times it helps! so give it a shot. what’s the worst that can happen? something really bad? we’ve all been through really bad things before, and here we are. also, you can always laugh. i’ve seen people laugh in the absolute worst of circumstances. i don’t want to breach any confidences by describing the exact circumstances in which i saw the most inspirational laugh, but let’s let it suffice to say that the laugh transcended the hospital.
I took a big leap and tried to talk to him about my feelings today. It was one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done, and I’m not sure it made us any stronger.
Continue reading I took a big leap and tried to talk to h…
What was his response?
Daniela
We’re in an incredibly shaky relationship right now (go back a page and read my delightful tangent for full details) and I asked him to talk to me more. So he said he would before going quiet /:
Yeah, I read your confession yesterday… infact, I was going to comment on it but the site broke down for me, so I saved what I wrote just in case I wanted to post it anyway. I still have it if you want my advice..
Do you think he wants to fix things? You don’t have to respond if you dont want to.. its quite personal, I understand.
Daniela
Advice is always welcome.
I do believe he wants to fix things. We both have a lot invested into this relationship. Plus, and perhaps this is naive, he told me that he wants to fix things. He has always been brutally honest with me — occasionally to the point where it hurts more than helps — and I don’t believe that he would lie about this.
You are the only one that can make the choices.
I’ve been in a similar position.. but it was different because he and I took the relationship for granted and just fought all the time.
I let him hold the cards, he was the one who could say “Jump”, and then I’d just reply with “How high?”
Both of you should be completely in control of the situation you have found yourselves in… if one person holds the strings and begins puppeteering the relationship to their fancy, thats when things get ugly and painful.
Also, these things can take months and months to fix, and if you’re both just as willing as one another, you’ll see it through to the end, you’ll make it work -
But a handy hint of advice is this: Don’t wait too long. And don’t remain hopeful. Give yourself a mantra of something along the lines of, “it would be the nice if we were to get back together” rather than “I hope things work out, because I really really love him”.
It realistically prepares you for whatever comes your way. You probably don’t want to hear that, but seeing as he has told you that theres some emotional connection with this other girl at his college (Still?), you have to be open-minded to even the things you cannot bear to acknowledge.
I was doing that mantra thing right up until my ex-boyfriend decided that our relationship will never happen again unless, “the stars were aligned once more, and we have both changed.”
I really feel for your situation. I’m sorry to hear the way things turned out for you.
Just hang in there, because you’ll get through it.
Thank you so much for this. It’s really incredibly helpful, and it means a lot that you took the time to type this out.
We talked about the girl — Caroline is her name. I’m still sort of anxious about that situation, but she’s backed off, to the point of refusing to spend time alone with him, and Boy has come to the conclusion that he wants to be friends with her, good friends, but nothing more than that. Once gain, perhaps I am being naive, but I believe him.
I have began to brace myself for the worst while hoping for the best, and even since last night have taken a big part of myself back. Posting here helped. It’s funny, really, how seeing something all neat and typed out can make it a little less scary. It’s also nice to know that there are people out there, like you, that care enough to reach out to me. It makes the world seem a little kinder.
I’m sorry to hear that your relationship didn’t work out. I know that must have been incredibly painful for you. I feel really lucky to have someone who can relate to my situation and give me the advice that only comes with hindsight.
Thank you again.
You are more than welcome.
I adore helping people, especially when I see that they are in a similar predicament as I have been.
I couldn’t have given this advice to you or anyone if I hadn’t been what I’ve been through.
I just hope you have a happier ending than I did - and if not, remember;
“Life isn’t long, there will be pain but life goes on, with every day a brand new song.” - Ne-Yo, So You Can Cry.
I’m just a walking bunch of song lyric quotes!
Take care,
Daniela
i don’t know how i can possible open up in anyway even anonymously
Continue reading i don’t know how i can possible open up…
*hugs* you can babe.
don’t you find it hard even knowing that someone you don’t know is still reading what you put, and you still know you have written it, admission of your own demons i think is the hardest thing to do, because it brings it into where it an be examined,
cheers for the hug though 
AsKnownAs. 7:24 pm on May 7, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Your parents are the ones who did what they did, not you. Don’t feel responsible for the terrible choices two other people made, you aren’t them. When you come to realise that you are your own person, then he’ll believe the same.
If he did leave you because of your parents past, then that’s his own stupid decision.
Good luck