My house caught fire tonight. Not anything major. A short in the wall that did little more than scorch the area and make the entire place smell like ozone and burnt plastic and drywall. I find myself wishing it had been bigger so that someone might notice and care for a minute. When I was younger, […]
Continue reading My house caught fire tonight. Not anythi…Tagged: self harm RSS Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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thallie
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All Time Shannon
Is wrong for me to hurt myself for what HE did? …
Continue reading Is wrong for me to hurt myself for what …-
dreamerbrandon
Yes, you should not let him get you down like that
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Kitty
He doesn’t do It on purpose. He stopped loving me
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true story
others will love you.
he isnt worth the pain xx-
Kitty
He’s worth everything I have. Nobody understands me like he does. Im afraid nobody ever will
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ninjanika
That’s understandable, but I promise that if one person can figure you out, someone else will be able to as well. Here’s to hoping that person is better looking than this guy!
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Kitty
Lmao. Awh thanks for that. You made me smile
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ninjanika
Good, keep doing that
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El_Scorcho
I want to write a song, not an emo song, a simple indie song, similar to the Strokes’ music, about this.: Last night was awkward. Your Dad, I seemed quite feared of, your Mum, it was awkward. You…..Well it’s you. Typical, lovely, funny, imperfectly perfect you. I love you. I wish you loved me. This is […]
Continue reading I want to write a song, not an emo song,… -
lovelost
i cant actually stand myself anymore and i am really lonely i have cut myself all the way to the inside of my elbows and people think i am doing it for attention. my friends obviously dont seem to care only he cares so maybe he likes me i will be so much happier when […]
Continue reading i cant actually stand myself anymore and…-
El_Scorcho
I know how you feel. I cut myself today for the same reason, with a blunt guitar plectrum, now that takes effort. I feel horrible for doing it, like i’ve let myself down. But I haven’t let anyone down. You’ve just got to think rationally, and physically stop yourself from doing it.
She isn’t your best friend if she punches you, and when she does, hit her back. Let loose this pain you seem to wield, she seems like she deserves it. Also, give him a few hits from me, hitting a woman is inexcusable.
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codedarmes
go 4 it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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moonlight
I honestly see nothing wrong with self injury. Why do people make such a HUGE deal out of it? To each their own.
Continue reading I honestly see nothing wrong with self i…-
soyboy2
self injury is a dangerous coping mechnaism
you cut your wrist to hide form the pain of real life.
if you mess up you could kill yourself, and all it does is cover up the real issues in your life, and eventually you become dependent on it because it bceoms the only way for you to cope with things in life
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Shannon_Secret
i cut myself, nobody knows, its not that big of a deal tbh. well, my mum knows. and she made a WAYY to big a fuss about it.
i’ve stopped for a while.
maybe i’ll start again soon
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moonman
There is nothing wrong with it at all. Unless it is some emo poser fag who does it to show the world I hate those fuckers
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Shannon_Secret
Yeah they are pretty annoying, those who broadcast it lol. I’m not one of them. What I do is between me and myself only
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Nostalgia
Mm, the attention whores.
They are why we can’t have nice things. -
2468230
you dont want scars on your wrist when your over this phase. if ur gonna cut choose a place that doesnt matter, i hear feet are a decent choice
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sometimesoon
well.. i cant stand the sight of blood, because of the scars that cover my best friends body. i find self-ingury so confronting, because unless they are try hard emos (im with moonman) then it is often hiding something else, i i feel hopeless and closed off, because ofthen the person feelsthey cannot talk to anyone.
it makes me sad
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AuroraRae
I cut myself for years. It was a coping mechanism, yes, but it worked. I was able to cope with some pretty serious shit in my life. Sometimes i regret the scars that i have but the people i love know what they are and why they are there and love me anyway.
Cutting may not be pretty (although some think it is), or socially acceptable but if it helps you, and you aren’t risking your life, then I am glad you have a way to deal with your problems. Yes, it’s a crutch. But so are medication and religion.
I just ask you to look at the future you and decide where you want your scars. They will follow you for the rest of your life and you need to be able to deal with that.
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CrimsonTears
i have cut for 12 years, and each scar is a battle i’ve won with myself, many are days that i may have tried worse if not for this way to release a bit of the pain. However, that does not mean I believe it’s a healthy or positive way to deal with these feelings I have. While it may work and may be the reason I am alive today (and I am proud to still be here) it is not how I want to cope for the rest of my life, because there are other, safer, and less destructive ways to handle life. I want to learn to love and to respect myself, and once I respect myself and my body I will no longer cut and burn, however, until then, I just keep trying new ways to help me through the difficult times. Every time before you pick up a blade, try a different coping mechanism or something to distract you for at least 10 minutes, if the urge is still there, you can decide if you want to cut or not. If nothing else, it makes you think before you act, and that thinking can prevent unintentional harm.
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no1spoet
its used the same way alcohol and drugs and Rx meds are used to ignore something for awhile. but in the end you are not being true to yourself or your potential. YOU are not dealing, the RAZOR is dealing FOR you. Learn to stand on you own and know that you can depend on yourself… theres so much more you could be experiencing
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LNz
I thought cutting was dangerous, because it was used as a means to kill oneself. If you cut an artery in your wrist, then it is very possible that you will bleed to death. Self injury in itself is not a healthy way to deal with any kind of problem.
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luxdolor
My wife called me ego centric. Fuck, she’s right. I am one sick selfish sonofabitch. It’s always all the fuck about me. How do I defend myself? I don’t because I’d have to talk about me. I’ve apologized and asked forgiveness. Things is, even when they forgive me I don’t know how to forgive myself. […]
Continue reading My wife called me ego centric. Fuck, she…-
tatou
I noticed you posted this on the regular site and on the live site, so it seems like you are seeking some feedback. So here it goes: Self-pity is normal to a certain extent, but if your wife has forgiven you, that’s what’s important. Relax and move on with your life. Instead of focusing on not wanting to be ego-centric, focus on and strive towards being altruistic.
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luxdolor
right, you’re right. and kind. everyone is right and kind. everyone moves on. everyone relaxes.. sometimes i sleep but i don’t think i ever really relax. honestly, i’m not being cheap - you were thoughtful and i’m in a really lousy space. at least i wrote this section without cursing. that’s nice.
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luxdolor
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heavymetalcows22
take small steps. accept that your wife forgave you, then slowly try to forgive yourself. if you tell her what you think about yourself, and how awful you think you are, i’m sure she will help you. if she forgave you then she doesnt think youre an awful person. as far as being violent towards yourself, i’m guilty of that as an outlet as well. we should both stop. and its ok to talk about yourself, especially when you need help.
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luxdolor
nah, when i tell her how i feel about me it’s just more me talking about me. she doesn’t think i’m awful, i do and i’m really tired of it, worn out. it’s been a long decade of disappointments. can you believe i used to have a job in which i helped others get to a better place? it would be funny if it wasn’t so real.
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heavymetalcows22
is it impossible to forgive yourself? maybe you could try helping people again.. volunteer or something. hell, you could help people on here. if you think you’re so egocentric try talking to your wife about her. talk about other people, movies, anything to get your mind off yourself, if talking about yourself is the only thing that makes you feel awful.
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luxdolor
i’ve tried, many times. it’s pretty tough. i’m carrying a truck load of guilt and disappointment. i know all the answers - we’re the worst kind of patient. to do the good things you’ve suggested i’d have to get myself offline but here i am. in my comment to you i wasn’t being insincere, a little dark maybe but not mean. we really need to get offline.
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Vampire_mistress1412
I have beem cutting my self for the last few weeks….. I have being trying hard to stop but i just cant, I have lied to all of my friends by telling them thag i have stopped cutting, and that im not going to do it again. It seems like every time i stop cutting […]
Continue reading I have beem cutting my self for the last…-
hopefuldreams17
I wish I could give you a magical fix to stop cutting yourself, but honestly, there isn’t one. I started back in 8th grade, and now as a sophmore in college I still have trouble with it. It’s so bad that I was hospitalized a month and a half ago. But you’ve only been doing it a few weeks, so I would recommend trying to stop as soon as possible. I can’t wear shorts or short sleeves in public without scaring children. You don’t want to be like that. The best advice I can give you, find something else to put that energy into. Call a friend, scream into your pillow, sing, write, exercise, anything that doesn’t harm yourself. I know exactly why you do it and why it’s so hard to quit. In case you didn’t know, when you cut yourself, serotonin is released into your brain which is why it calms you down, and that’s what makes it addicting. But the sooner you quit, the easier it will be. I’m lucky if I go 2 days without cutting myself. I never imagined when I started I would be that dependent on it. I wish you the best of luck. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.
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glitterwhore
I want to try and brake my own arm again it makes everyhting okay
Continue reading I want to try and brake my own arm again…-
Remixer
Why on earth would breakind your own arm make ANYTHING okay?
Remixer
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SolomonTummler 11:22 pm on November 22, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Sometimes I feel like that. I am an artist in another realm of living. A lot of my efforts are with the hopes of being seen and noticed. I found myself doing a lot of things for attention. Saying silly things, doing things that would put me in compromising positions. Even if I wasn’t sure I liked the kind of attention I got. I always seemed to feel a bit more whole when I got attention. Sometimes I still do it…other times I just bide my time for someone who cares…or look for someone who might care.
D.S 11:29 pm on November 22, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I think it was a natural thing for you to that do as a child, to crave love and warm attention. It isn’t okay to do it, I wouldn’t condone it or encourage anyone to, but it was just a natural instinct to want to recieve proper nuturing and care.
But you know, we all care here. I care, I notice everytime you write a confession. You’ve stuck out in my mind.
I think these people never noticed it or thought nothing of it because they just assumed you were always getting hurt, that you were clumsy. If you had a black eye, or something, they’d notice. It’s just that children of that age have a tendency to injure themselves. Mostly unintentionally. I don’t think no one cared, I think they just didn’t think it was anything necessary to worry about.
It’s not nice, i know. I’m sorry about that. But people do care, Thallie, they really do. You might not see it, but they do.
Sorry to hear your house caught on fire a little. Be grateful that it didn’t though.. Imagine the damage and the loss of posessions and things that hold deep meaning and value to you.
Try to look at yourself in the mirror and smile, it works for me sometimes.
All the best, and I am here if you need me, and sorry I couldn’t be of much help this time,
Daniela
thallie 11:39 pm on November 22, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Thank you, Daniela,
You have no idea how much you’ve meant to me since that first confession. It sounds silly, but you’ve meant so, so much to me. Knowing that you’re out there and care enough to keep up with my life, and my moodswings and insecurities and all my other neuroses; all of the little things that come together to make me the dysfunctional ball of sunshine and angst that I am… it’s so wonderful.
It’s sort of sad, that I’m relying on someone who I’ll probably never even meet, but I really do. You’re as real to me as most of my “friends”, maybe even moreso. You’ve stuck out to me, too, and I think about you each day when I feel like I’m having a hard time. I think of you, and know that someone DOES care, and hope that you know I care, too. I care for you as much as I care for anyone surrounding me. I relish in your triumphs, and my heart breaks a little every time you have a bad day.
I wish, so much, that I had someone in my life that was as supportive as you — in the real world, that is. You are such an incredible person. It’s a pity that you and I will never meet face to face.
Thanks for making the world just a little bit brighter, yet again. You are incredible.
tychoma 6:46 am on November 23, 2009 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hi thallie, I know what you’re going through. My ex had a very similar outlook, and I have self harmed in the past and probably will again in the future. Just nice to know we aren’t alone I guess, I don’t have much else supportive to say, just thought I’d let you know I noticed you x