Since I discovered my boyfriend watching a bunch of porn recently, I feel like the thought of it has consumed me. I’ve been reading up about it, and about the things we do together- he usually only cums when he does me from behind, or when I let him cum on my face. And then […]
Continue reading Since I discovered my boyfriend watching a bunch…Tagged: sex RSS Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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blankets
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theforgotten
I told you I wasn’t a virgin I…
I told you I wasn’t a virgin. I lied. Now you hate me. You’re a douche. If this was all about sex, I’m glad you hate me because at least that feeling is mutual.
Continue reading I told you I wasn’t a virgin I… -
lightlurker
I never thought we would be making so much progress in so little time Just last month we had only just settled into kissing, adventuring with tongue. But now I’m wishing I was on the frigging pill already. We are both pretty reserved, but massaging eachother opened us up to taking off more clothes. We […]
Continue reading I never thought we would be making so mu… -
Lethal Love
I don’t love you. I don’t want to date you. I probably wouldn’t die for you. But you are a great friend. And you did offer casual sex. I’ll take you up on that offer whenever you like.
Continue reading I don’t love you. I don’t want to date… -
oftheday
I’m 19, never been kissed, and the only one out of my close friends who doesn’t currently have a boyfriend. “Sexually frustrated” is a massive understatement. During this winter break I’ve been spending hours in bed trying to construct this fantasy of having a boyfriend and masturbate to it, but apparently my own imagination isn’t […]
Continue reading I’m 19, never been kissed, and the only…-
AsKnownAs.
Hahaha
I can completely relate! Considering that we’re the same age and I am also a virgin. My last relationship was over a year ago and I am most definitely not the type to just get out there and ‘get laid’.
I found being in this particular relationship I wanted to wait before I finally did the deed (which I never did), and so we let out our sexual frustrations in other ways.
Depending on the kind of relationship you find yourself in, you might find that you’re comfortable enough to have sex immediately, or, you might find that waiting is the better option.
Honestly, if you truly like the guy on an emotional level, though physical thoughts are currently plaguing your mind, you won’t be acting like some sex-depraved rabbit, because it goes beyond that : ) Probably at times you will only be thinking for pleasure, but that’s normal and to be expected.
As for the fantasies and such, if that’s what makes you feel better, then so be it. We’ve all got some guilty pleasures!
You know when you’ll meet someone? When you stop thinking about meeting someone.
Here’s a good quote:
“Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.”
- Henry David Thoreau
Also, don’t let the fact that you’ve never been kissed or the only one of your friends be an issue for you. It just means that when you do finally kiss, it’ll be so much more worth it, and you might just be the lucky gal out of your friends who snags the ultimate Prince Charming!
Look on the positive side of life, I know I’m trying to : )
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oftheday
Haha, I just reread my original post and apparently I was really worked up when I wrote that. Slightly awkward now…
I’m pretty shy, so even though I really want to meet someone, I really don’t act like it. I’m pretty sure I give off a strong “not interested” vibe.
The issue with my friends is not about me trying to catch up with their level of experience. I’ve never felt jealous of them (maybe because I’m not attracted to any of their boyfriends), but I do sometimes
feel like there’s a part of their lives I can’t relate to because I’ve never been in a relationship before.
More than that, it’s just really awkward to be the 3rd/5th/7th wheel sometimes. If I just had one friends who was single then we could be buddies, but it’s just me. Me and four couples.
The worst was New Year’s Eve a year ago when we all slept over after the party and I was the only single person in the room. It was a really lonely and uncomfortable experience.
I am trying to stay positive though, haha. Next semester I’me studying abroad in Europe and hopefully the experience will bring me out of my shell a little bit.-
pulse
‘abroad in Eurpoe’?! You’ll be fine! I’m sure you’ll have the time of your life and meet quite a few suitable guys.
Don’t be disappointed in yourself in regards to fantasies, as AsKnownAs roughly said everyone has them. Whatever works for you
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quiteabitch
I agree! I bet itll be even more special!! =)
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lightlurker
Don’t feel bad at all for being worked up. I’m just another stranger out there, so I can only be so comforting but I’ve felt exactly the same.
To the line exactly.
I’ve gone through many moods of being so insanely curious and horny about all things sexual.
Or not even really all that deep! Wanting badly just to know what it felt like to be kissed or even innocently touched.
I use to wish there was a book on this stuff, that just told the straight honest truth so maybe if I wasn’t missing much I’d get over it!
Maybe when I get past the kissing stage with my boy, I’ll do such a thing, truth is it wouldn’t have helped me, and it won’t help you.
We can listen to others experiences but the truth is we don’t hear it.
The fact is, everyone here is right, be patient.
Man I know it sucks. I’m not a very open person either, its hard to meet people and start a relationship.
Jesus, my own was a complete accident, the sort of accident that is one of those once in a life time, so I don’t know how to really jump into one from scratch.
I wish I knew how to speed up the process, I don’t.
I can think of one positive thing to say! The fantasy thing is completely normal, I know a erotic writer whose writings all but burning. I use to rely on my own creativity, sometimes it wasn’t enough, it happens. Its hard to have the mindset some of these erotic geniuses.
I hope your frustration softens soon, I hope we have given you some comfort and I hope when you find someone he rocks your world .-
oftheday
Haha, if I couldn’t rant to random strangers once in a while, I would probably just explode.
The only thing a book like that would be good for is showing me exactly what I’m missing in greater detail… unfortunately there’s no substitute for a real life relationship.I totally agree with you about how there isn’t really a trick to meeting a guy, and I really do want to take it slow and let things develop on their own. I just don’t really know what to do with myself in the meantime.
I’ve never talked to anyone else who reads erotic stories. It’s pretty awesome that you can relate to exactly what I was talking about. Makes me feel way better about myself.
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frquinn29
when i fuck my wife now i fantasise she is fucking someone else. I really really want her to do this and have for years. I want to be at parties and have her go off secretly with a guy and come back to me. Want her to have her secrets and have her as […]
Continue reading when i fuck my wife now i fantasise she …-
frquinn29
when i say she has no interest she ‘kinda’ has….but says in 3 years she hasnt met a guy she would like to shag……. :S
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lightlurker
You can’t get her to do anything, what you can do is keep introducing her to handsome men and maybe something will spark.
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jessebear
Hello everyone, this is my first confession on here… I almost don’t know where to begin. There’s this man, he’s 3 years older than me and I’ve been in love with him from the moment I set my eyes on him we’ll call him M. When I met him I was in a relationship with […]
Continue reading Hello everyone, this is my first confess…-
luckyducky
Eventually that hurts doesn’t burn quite as much….the hard part is staying away….I’ll keep my hands crossed for you to stay strong….
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DirtyNaughty
So there’s this guy at uni in my English Lit. classes. I’m just out of school, and he’s a mature age student. Not really old, though, just about 30 I think. And I just can’t stop thinking about having sex with him. I’m not the only one who thinks that, either. Most of my friends […]
Continue reading So there’s this guy at uni in my Englis… -
AllThatJazz
I went down on a guy for the first time at a party last night i thought i would hate it but it was kinda fun until i choked He didn’t cum though he said it was ok and that it was just to cold… I don’t know if i should believe this… i think […]
Continue reading I went down on a guy for the first time …-
pd0815
i liked it your post. there are so many reasons why the didn’t cum. if he told you the truth or not is another topic.
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AllThatJazz
I guess if it’s not true at least he tried to save my feelings It made me so happy when he added me on facebook i feel like a stalker lol this time last week i told my friend one night stands are just one night stands move on lol
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pd0815
nah you just had an intimate moment with someone. you probably still trying to find out the details of what he thought of it. gl.
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QuiteStupidPerson
Yeah, its gonna happen. I’m going to cheat on my wife with the woman I left her for 18 years ago. Leaving her was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life, I have done nothing but regret it ever since. I walked away from the most innocent, sweetest, most honest and caring person […]
Continue reading Yeah, its gonna happen. I’m going to ch…-
KindWords
I feel sad for you. One day you will wake up alone or with this woman that can only provide one thing for you.
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die_raupe2
sounds like an indie movie
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luckyducky
Believe it or not…your situation is not so uncommon…
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lethe
my first time was oral sex with my cousin.. since then acted a terrible skank tortured innocent animal sick with hate
Continue reading my first time was oral sex with my cousi…-
pd0815
this is hot.
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phoenixgirrl
He asked me out. We really hit it off and he seemed to like me a lot. We dated a few months. When I got back from my Christmas break in China, he asked me what I wanted to do this summer because he couldn’t stand being apart. Three days later his ex doesn’t even […]
Continue reading He asked me out. We really hit it off an…-
demon
first of all i am happy you meet this new guy
cause now you know
not all guyies are like that
not all of them is that messed upyou should try and stop hating yourself
for the past, i bet it already been hard enoughthis is guy sound cute
so please don’t give him up and don’t give yourself up as well
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LoveHurts
Sex
I have been having sex for about a year now, and I haven’t told my mom. Should I?
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All Time Shannon
if you like. its not crucial though… lol
its your life right? if you feel you should tell her, then do. but if you dont, it wouldnt be a bad thing -
Mara
It’s up to you. If you want advice, and she’s open-minded it might be good to talk it over with her. But If you’d rather not, that’s ok too.
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JadedNikky
If you want to tell her, then go for it. But if you dont want too then dont. It’s really your choice.
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ScrewEverything
As long as you’re being safe about it if you dont want to tell her theres really no reason to.
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KindWords
If your mom already suspects it, then you should tell her and say that you would like to have conversations about it. Yet, if your mom will be upset and all of a sudden think that every time you step out the door, you’re off to open your legs, then keep it to yourself.
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anonymousperson
omg
I’m a 22 year old female and I’ve only ever had sex with guys before… I’ve known I was bisexual for a long time although I never really admit it, but anyway, I really, REALLY want to have sex with another woman. I want to sooooo badly it’s not even funny. and not just any […]
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fullofsecrets
I think I am addicted to sex. I have been watching porn since I was around 13 and ever since I’ve lost my virginity…all I do is try and find ways to have sex with someone. I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m 19. But I never really think about boyfriend material…I just kind […]
Continue reading I think I am addicted to sex. I have bee…-
pd0815
there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. you have an active craving for sex and maybe a very nice imagination. I would suggest for you to just be safe. I’m in the same boat just not about guys. I just found out yesterday that I might be a paraphiliac. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I have an excellent therapist.
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Y ask Y
Here’s my take on it (without knowing you obviously): Unless it’s interfering with you operating in your normal life, there’s nothing wrong with you. That is to say, if you absolutely CANNOT control your behaviour, or you don’t like what you’re doing but can’t stop, then yea it might be time to really talk to somebody. If you’re doing it and it makes you feel like shit and riddled with guilt, talk to someone.
But if it’s not, don’t worry about it. You’re not married, no kids. So just be safe. Be really really safe, and who gives a shit what society has to say about it. They’re not walking in your shoes. And besides if you were a 19yr. old guy laying chick left, right, and center and laying two in the same day they’d be giving you medals. It just a weak double standard that men are revered for having a sex drive while women get vilified for it. Don’t buy into it.
As for the rest: Shit I’m way older than 19, and I keep waiting for the day my sex drive is going to die down and it just doesn’t. And the porn? Forget about it. I look at so much tranny porn it should be a crime. No one knows, I’m a decent person, good friend. I pay my taxes. Who cares? I’m not overly concerned about it. Cut yourself some slack.
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Masturbatesinpublic1
I don’t think I’ll ever get over my sex addiction…
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KindWords
I agree with Y ask Y! And believe me, later on in life, when you’re older and perhaps in a serious relationship, you will be glad that you explored and experimented. Be safe and don’t let guys use you, if there are no feelings involved, really, you’re using them.
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Rejected_Pathetically
Let me explain something to you: Just because my boyfriend and I have a somewhat-open relationship (ie, we can make out with other people at parties from time to time, and, if we’ve had pre-approval, possibly have sex with someone else, if the conditions are right- and there’s a zillion +1 conditions that have to be […]
Continue reading Let me explain something to you: Just be…-
pd0815
is it really an open relationship with all the zillion and one conditions?
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Rejected_Pathetically
Yes and no.
Relationships don’t have to be all or nothing. They can, indeed, be a little bit open, but not all the way open.
Open relationships take LOTS of communication, lots of compromise, and working through lots of different emotions/situations. They ARE NOT easy. It’s not like, “okay, you can go cheat!” Sometimes, certain things are right at one time, but not at another (ie- If my partner and I were having problems, it WOULD NOT be okay for me to go hook up with someone- However, if things are going well, it’s permissible [and yes, they are going very, very well]). In any case, an open relationship takes constant negotiation and renegotiation. Since this is new for my partner, the degree of “openness” is still minimal, but we plan on spending our lifetimes together, and we have a lifetime to relax those (and actively plan on doing so). I know neither of us are ready to have sex with other people yet, and he’s not comfortable with me fooling around with guys I’m close friends with yet- and that’s okay, I accept it. We’re honest about how we feel, with each other and our other partners. I’d say that’s pretty damn open of us.
This topic has been written about extensively… I suggest checking out either The Ethical Slut or Opening Up if you want to learn more (or just gawk at the crazy open relationship peeps from your armchair
).
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Y ask Y
Just fill every hole on my body without asking me Y. Not everything in life needs to be broken down and explained in great detail.
Continue reading Just fill every hole on my body without …-
All Time Shannon
Thats true. But you can’t get answers without asking questions..
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bobburgster
Haha, good post!
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Y ask Y
Life is already chock full of too many unanswered questions as it is. Some days the last thing you want is more of them. Well, I know that holds to be true for me.
bobburgster: Thanks!
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mojonano
I am one of the most shallow guys I know. I wasn’t always like this. I’ve been with really hot girls and I’ve been with fatties who aren’t so good looking, and they both act the same way. They’re self-centered, snobby, demanding bitches. So I’m only going to fuck hot women from now on. I’m […]
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calmontheoutside
No Regret
I make out with my best friend’s brother every chance I get. He’s a complete jerk, but I love doing it anyways. I’ve thought about giving him my virginity, I still am, in fact. I don’t regret it at all. He’s made me a different person. He pulled me out of my depression. I’m happy again.
Continue reading No Regret-
bjg
how is he a jerk?
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calmontheoutside
He’s rude to almost everyone unless he wants something. He smokes pot a lot and drinks. He’s also super arrogant.
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bjg
is he nice to you?
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calmontheoutside
When we’re around everyone, we tease each other a lot. Playfully of course. And nothing too mean. And when we’re alone, he’s soooo sweet.
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bjg
oh:) does your best friend know?
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calmontheoutside
Yeah, my best friend is actually his brother…
I probably should have mentioned that. lol.
My best friend doesn’t approve at all, he thinks I’m stupid for liking him at all.
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KindWords
In the future you might meet someone who you are in a relationship with and giving your virginity to someone you’re in love with is just so much better than a guy who just wants that.
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sandman
A heart fetish
well, I have a heart fetish. I love how it looks, seeing it beat, listening to it and feeling it in a woman’s body. It’s not that bad at times, but when I get sexually tense I start to have strange and sometimes violent fantasies. I am turned on by the idea of frailty, neediness, vulnerability […]
Continue reading A heart fetish-
All Time Shannon
Well people do have very different fantasies.
I don’t think i have heard of anyone who thought about this, but its not too strange.
Just deffinetly unique. and if you are going to step on a woman’s chest and stomach, make sure she understands exactly what you are going to do, so you don’t hurt her of course.
I hope everything works out.- Shannon
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sandman
Thanks for the kind comment. I don’t plan on doing anything harmful or non consensual. I guess it goes on the same idea of normal B&D fantasies; The dominant one enjoys the idea of having someone under their control or having their life in his/her hands and the submissive enjoys the idea of being able to give someone complete control and feel the trust, love and value of their life in the dominant’s actions.
I have always seen life in anything as beautiful. I think many people would understand how I feel if they didn’t see guts as something disgusting or “gory”, because when you really look into it, life is truly complex and amazing.
Thanks for replying- David
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pd0815
why is it just a woman’s heart if it isn’t purely sexual? Unless you are a god or a doctor, controlling someone’s heart or any other aspect of their life is off limits. you’ve come to the right place for the frail, needy, and vulnerable females. I guess women are in your violent fantasies because men are too hard to overpower.
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sandman
Well, it’s not purely sexual but I do not see men as vulnerable, sensitive or needy as I see women. Men on average are built for aggression and power; Aggression deducts from the sensual value of life for me.(Not the sentimental value obviously)
Truthfully easiness to overpower has nothing to do with my fantasies for the obvious reason I would never do these things in real life(I did specify that I wouldn’t), I didn’t come here to find vulnerable women and with the right amount of restraint, no one person is any more powerful than the other. My mind bases it on sensitivity and softness. IE: My computer is vulnerable, but since it has no life or emotion in it, what could I possibly get from poking at it’s processor? LOL
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anonymousperson
wow…..you sound like a serial killer…..
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HelloHero
You are not alone, you have no idea how much of a relief it is to hear that I’m not the only one with these kind of thoughts. In fact, this is the first time I’ve ever spoken out about my feelings.
I have had fantasies about controlling a beating heart since I was a little girl, some of the fantasies you talked about pretty much describe me. I also like the vulnerability aspect of it too, I like the idea of being able to soothe/slow down a racing heart. But my fantasies are sometimes a little violent as well, but like you I have no intent on acting them out.
In my opinion, I don’t see any problem with you feeling this way so long as you aren’t harming anybody, which you specified you weren’t interested in.
Good luck!
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AsKnownAs. 3:07 am on February 22, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Every relationship is different.
If what you’re doing feels fine, feels like the pace you want to go at, then I say continue.
If you’re afraid to take it too far, just set up some boundaries, plateau for a bit and when it feels right, take it further or, take it down a notch. Whatever you decide.
I’d suggest speaking to him about this if you start feeling guilty or concerned… it might be helpful in some way (:
But really, there’s no right or wrong when it comes to these things - just what we’ve been cultured to believe what is right and what is wrong.